The Bird of Hermes
by Akemi Homura-san
Summary: Ikari Shinji-living proof that there are more things in Heaven and on Earth than are dreamt of in mortal philosophy-returns from Hell to right past wrongs, and to perhaps finally find the peace that has eluded him his entire life. How? Well, it all begins with the girl he could never forget... M for violence, language and a positively Lovecraftian mindscrew. Read and Review.
1. Who Said You Can't Redo?

_Tokyo-3_

_Sachiel, Angel of Water. Possesses energy weapons lodged within arms, and a second mask that fires beams of high-velocity destructive energy. Other than that, entirely unremarkable. Should be a simple matter to defeat; however, the situation does not call for a victory, but rather a decisive rout. I've got one shot at this. Better make it count… ADAM! Cut out this bothersome personality transplant OS. Her chatter is distracting me._

_ {I…I… FINE! I suppose you'll want _it_,_ _too?!}_

_ You suppose correctly, but I shall take care of that detail. Actually, would you be so kind as to put me in touch with the core directly? It would be a great help._

_ {…As if you're actually giving me a choice…}_

The catapult hatch opened on ground level, and out popped the giant purple cyborg it was conveying to the surface. Satisfied with the conclusion of his conversation with the entity inside his head, Ikari Shinji, the Third Child, slowly opened his eyes.

The locks on the catapult disengaged. Enemy contact had been established, and Synthetic Life-form Evangelion Unit-01's first sortie had officially begun.

[Okay, Shinji, we're going to take it slow. Just put one foot in front of the other.]

"Hmph," smirked Shinji.

EVA-01's head snapped up, and it charged forth with great, bounding strides, its arms outstretched, at a speed that made Doctor Akagi Ritsuko's eyes widen. Twin beams of energy blasted out of the eye sockets of Sachiel's second mask, but the Evangelion ducked and picked up speed, narrowly avoiding sustaining a direct hit by the scalar equivalent of a hair's-breadth; an instant later, its outstretched right arm clotheslined the massive creature. Continuing with its forward motion, the mech brought that arm up in an arc and then down, slamming the Angel into the ground hard enough to leave a sizable crater, leaving after-images of flickering concentric orange octagons to denote the presence of its Absolute Terror Field. But before EVA-01 could press its advantage, Sachiel blasted it again, and because of its proximity, the Evangelion had no choice but to jump and flip to avoid being hit. To the surprise of every speculator, it worked, and a moment later, EVA-01 was perched atop the very apex of a nearby skyscraper with super-human grace, perfectly balanced thereupon.

Shinji took stock of his surroundings with a calculated precision, mentally marking his position on the map of Tokyo-3 he kept in his head. Satisfied that he was in the right place, he nodded to himself, a small, predatory grin sinuously splitting upon his face. The mech crouched and flipped gracefully off of the building just in time to avoid Sachiel's destruction of it, landing nimbly upon the ground once more, right next to one of the alternate NERV catapults. As the pilot inside closed his eyes and took a deep breath before snapping them open once more, it stretched out its left hand, and waited…

"I am…the Bird of Hermes…"

* * *

><p><em>I am…the Bird of Hermes…<em>

In Terminal Dogma, suspended above the lake of LCL, in response to a certain summons, _something _pulled free of its perch, then rushed to at last reunite with its proper master...

* * *

><p>"There's an anomaly! Something's coming up the catapult chute from Terminal Dogma!" cried Ibuki Maya, drawing Doctor Akagi's attention in an instant. Her eyes widened further as she beheld the readings Maya's monitor displayed concerning the ascending object.<p>

"That…that shouldn't be possible!"

The hatch opened up, and the Evangelion's left hand closed around the shaft of the long, red, double-pronged object, snapping it down in a half-arc and bringing the left foot behind the right. Within the entry plug, Shinji grinned even wider, then spoke aloud, his voice weighted with recognition: "It's been a long time, old friend."

Sachiel, confused, staggered and enraged, stumbled almost blindly through the combat-ready cityscape of Tokyo-3, which brought him directly into Shinji's line of sight.

_This is it. _The pilot closed his eyes and focused on the roiling emotions that began to flood into him, emotions that were not his own: fear, bloodlust, savagery…_anger…_ Turning his attention to within, he asserted his will upon them, leashing the sensations and binding them to his command with an adamantine chain. He pictured himself as the eye of a hurricane of primal sensation, and in the back of his brain, he knew that the technical staff at NERV Central would see his synchronization ratio approaching one hundred fifty percent at that point (although there was really nothing for it; mastering the berserker fury of EVA-01 and keeping it under his control required a prohibitive level of concentration). When his eyes snapped open once more, they had gone from cobalt to blood-red, his pupils having narrowed into a diamond shape. "_Lancea Longini!_"

Sachiel once more attacked from range, and once more, the Evangelion jumped; but this time, instead of jumping _away, _an instant later, Unit-01 came down, the point of the polearm it wielded pointed directly at the creature's super solenoid organ. An instant later, its core compromised, the Angel embraced its attacker, then self-destructed, sending up the icon of a cross into the sky. When the fireball began to dissipate, however, EVA-01 walked purposefully out of the destruction and into the view of the surveillance cameras.

The Third Angel had been destroyed.

"NERV Central? Pilot Ikari reporting. Target neutralized."

* * *

><p><em>One Week Later…<em>

"That was Section-2. The boy has just entered the medical ward with the stated intent of visiting the First Child," stated Ikari Gendo. He sighed.

"Have you figured out how you're going to explain to SEELE why your son knew about the Lance?" asked Fuyutsuki Kozo.

"No. Partly because I know nothing of the circumstances surrounding it myself, and beyond that, must confess to sharing their curiosity," he replied. "It is…_unfortunate, _but I do not believe the old men will see fit to remove the boy from the equation, however unknown of an entity he might be. Unit-01 _is, _after all, the cornerstone of their plan, and since the Lance seems to respond to the boy, that alternative is also off the table. Thus, as he is the only one who could possibly pilot Unit-01, the boy has made himself indispensable in their eyes, as much as they might hate to have to admit it."

"It's strange. Didn't the Marduk Institute report that his emotional state precluded him taking drastic independent action?"

"Indeed it did. Which is what makes this state of affairs all the stranger…" The commander shook his head to clear the errant thoughts from his mind. "Nevertheless, it does us no good to postulate on how the boy was made aware of the existence of the Lance. Better we refocus upon the task at hand…"

* * *

><p>When Ayanami Rei opened her eyes that morning, she did not expect to see that she had a visitor in the form of her fellow pilot, but took it in stride. The gentle smile that graced his countenance was more difficult to construct a neutral reaction to, admittedly, but she did so admirably. On her visitor's end, however, Shinji caught each emotion as it oh-so-very subtly registered on her face, and that filled him with even greater joy and nostalgia than seeing her eyes open had.<p>

"_Ohayo, _Ayanami-san," he greeted. "How are you feeling?"

She blinked, evidently confused by the question. "I do not understand."

He sighed; he'd allowed himself to forget just how specific the wording Gendo had used on her really was. "Are you able to adequately assess your current physical condition? If so, please provide your most accurate estimate, Ayanami-san."

She nodded in comprehension, though it was still clear as day to him that on some level, the confusion on the subject of why he would ask remained. "According to Doctor Akagi, I should be back in adequate physical condition to resume my normal level of activity in one week precisely. I am endeavoring to meet that goal."

"That is good to hear," he commented to himself. "You probably already know, but I'm Ikari Shinji, the Third Child. I'm to pilot Unit-01. It is…_fortunate _that I was able to introduce myself to you properly, Ayanami Rei."

The First Child wasn't exceptionally cognizant of social convention, but she _did _know the expected response in this instance. "Likewise, Ikari-san."

He grinned ruefully. "Please, call me Shinji. We're to be comrades, after all; a lack of familiarity can cause awkwardness on the field of battle, which can then impede upon our cooperative combat effectiveness. That would be rather…_less _than ideal, as I'm sure you're aware, for a number of reasons."

"_Hai. _I see your point, I…Shinji," she acquiesced.

She made no motion to suggest that he address her by her given name; but then again, it wasn't as if he expected her to. So he simply turned his grin to a small, sincere smile that had once been a near-historic event for him, and said, "_Arigato, _Ayanami-san."

His hearing picked up approaching footfalls, and in that moment, he knew his time to be nearly up. So he resolved to set about the second task he had intended to accomplish that day. "The medical staff will soon be here, and so it seems it is time for me to take my leave," he remarked to her. "It was…_nice _to meet you, Ayanami-san. I wish you a rapid recovery. Hopefully Unit-00 will be more cooperative next time, no?" Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly in surprise that he held this knowledge, but he pretended not to notice it. Instead, he stood and walked to her bedside, looking down on her form, prone upon the gurney, and placed his hand on her almost-bared shoulder gingerly. Just for an instant, then, she saw his normally-cobalt eyes flash a bright, vibrant scarlet, his pupils contracting to unnaturally accurate, geometrically perfect diamond shapes, and then his hand was gone, and he was leaving.

The orderlies were as surprised as she to find that her recovery timetable had leapt forwards three days.

* * *

><p>Katsuragi Misato, having been newly appointed the guardian of Unit-01's pilot, struggled to reconcile her memory of the shy, awkward, greatly-alarmed boy she had been sent to retrieve from the train station with the image of the cool, collected, dry, personable boy that had emerged during and following the perplexing battle against the Third Angel. When he moved in with her, he hadn't reacted to the mess immediately, but rather scrutinized it with an appraising eye. This lack of exclamation successfully lured her into a false sense of security; over the last week, her apartment had subtly changed, shifted, until now, on her day off, as she set about wondering when her charge (who had proven to be surprisingly low-maintenance) would be returning, each and every room of her residence was more spotless than it had been when she had signed the lease for it. Her supply of instant ramen had mysteriously 'vanished,' and in its place, Shinji prepared food that honestly tasted better than the most high-end restaurants she had been to before Second Impact; usually, however, he neglected to partake, with the persistent excuse of "I'm a vegetarian," and when that didn't work, "I've already eaten, anyways. Don't worry about me, Misato. I can take care of myself; it's no trouble, really."<p>

Now she found herself in Central Dogma, Ritsuko at her side, both of them looking on at the Third Child's performance in his first combat simulation with a growing sense of astonishment; even Akagi, who had scoffed to herself when the commander's progeny had opted to take the maximum difficulty simulation available right off, while disabling all of the combat aid programs–automatic aiming and any similar targeting programs being only the first ones to go–had no choice but to concede that she had somehow managed to drastically underestimate Ikari Shinji's piloting skills. She did not know how that was _possible, _certainly, but she knew that, as a scientist, she could not argue with results. And as the MAGI interpreted the data garnered in real-time, the results were, in a word, spectacular.

It all added up to one very terrifying question, though: who or what _was_ the Third Child?

"How fast even _is _he?" she whispered, her eyes wide and her tone stricken.

"Compared to the simulation data NERV Germany gathered from Unit-02, I'd say three times as fast," replied Akagi, turning her attention to interpreting the data on the readout the supercomputers had produced, which was in a two-column spreadsheet format with the Third Child's performance data in the left column and the Second Child's performance data in the right for easy cross-reference.

"Three times as fast as Unit-02?!" the captain asked incredulously.

"No. Three times as fast as the _Second Child,_" corrected the faux blonde, a wry smirk on her face as a thought crossed her mind. "What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall when Sōryu finds out…"

Misato couldn't help the amused grin that her face adopted when the mental image of such a moment, when her proud, brazen, and, quite honestly, _insufferable _former charge would be forced to confront the idea of the existence of someone who, from his first time in an EVA, so thoroughly outclassed her. "You and me both," she responded honestly, turning her attention back to the large screen that displayed a real-time feed of her current charge's progress. "How _did _he get so good, anyways?"

At that instant, the door to Central Dogma opened to admit the First Child (a bandage about her eye and her arm in a sling, but mobile nonetheless); in moments, she situated herself slightly apart from the Operations and Science Directors, and joined them in observing the strange, almost enigmatic Third Child's piloting trial. "He simply _is,_" she pronounced after a few seconds of intense scrutiny. "This seems to come naturally to Ikari…to Shinji-kun."

"'Shinji-kun,' eh?" teased Misato. "I didn't think you were so _informal, _Rei."

"Normally, I am not," replied the First Child in her cool monotone. "However, Shinji-kun specifically requested I address him as such. His reasons for doing so were…_compelling._"

While Misato chuckled uneasily and suppressed the urge to shiver, Ritsuko picked up on what the First Child had just said. "You say that the Third Child is a natural, Rei?" she queried, turning her attention to the blue-haired girl. "I would be interested to hear how you came to such a conclusion."

Rei opened and closed her mouth, considering carefully how she was going to present her observations to the faux blonde; she kept her eyes fixed on the image of Unit-01, reacting and moving swiftly enough to appear as little more than a purple blur to the naked eye, while she deliberated, before speaking. "I have been shown the recordings of the Second Child's training runs–the Second Child, whose proficiency with her Evangelion arose from many long years of instruction, training and practice. That training is evident in her piloting style, and one who looks on carefully enough will notice that fact; the influences are simply too apparent to ignore. This is not the case with Shinji-kun," she explained. "There is a certain lack of predictability to his movements that precludes training–every hand-to-hand instructor, for example, will teach their students mostly _kata, _which introduces a certain sequence of cause and effect to appear in those students' methods of fighting. With Shinji-kun, every step and every strike is dictated by what is obviously a design of some sort, a design the end of which is nearly impossible to see until the moment when it culminates, but by the same token, that design is more an _intention _than a series of instructions; as such, he can and does adapt to the demands of the moment, to his enemy's response, using them against his opponent so that not only each of _his _motions, but also each of _theirs, _is another step towards the culmination of his design. He controls the battlefield through adaptation and is able to formulate viable contingencies to unforeseen events within the interval of time it takes him to react. Such a method would necessarily rely upon intuition, to a degree, as well as a certain acuity of thought and action, and as such, since neither of those prerequisites can be induced through instruction, it follows that his proficiency with Unit-01, unlike that of the Second Child with Unit-02, arises from a certain inborn aptitude for such."

Ritsuko nodded her head thoughtfully. "You know, I think you're right, Rei," she replied. "That would certainly explain his…rather _unorthodox _methods, if nothing else."

Rei bobbed her head in affirmation.

On the screen, the Test Type faced four variations upon the template provided by the Third Angel, Codename: 'Sachiel', generated by the MAGI; originally, there had been twenty, each one unique. The program had given the Third Child an ironically-named pellet rifle with limited ammunition with which to respond to the threat, and, of course, the progressive knife stored in the EVA's shoulder pylon. Statistically speaking, his chances for success were miniscule–a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of one percent, according to the supercomputers–and yet now, less than ten minutes into the simulation, sixteen opponents were neutralized, the pellet rifle had one quarter of its original clip left, and the prog knife's blade was saturated with computer-generated Angelic ichor. Unit-01 stood before them now, perfectly still, as if waiting for something…

In the blink of an eye, the mech was moving; it dodged and wove its way around an energy blast that was meant to catch it head-on, and its momentum carried it close enough to the simulated Angel that it was at last within arm's reach. The EVA's arm whipped out and jabbed the prog knife into the Angel's Super Solenoid Engine; then, it crouched and hopped up, its feet pressed into the alien's chest on either side of its core, and with its coiled muscles, together with some added aid from the pellet rifle, it both pulled the prog knife from the theretofore-flawless crimson sphere and propelled its entire body in the direction of its next target. Like a javelin, the mech flew through the air, and like a javelin, its point (the prog knife) pierced its target's 'heart'; the Test Type followed by pushing off of the Angel with its hands, tossing the prog knife at the second-to-last Angel whilst it flew in the opposite direction, impacting another Angel with a kick of sufficient force to shatter its core, and at that moment, the Evangelion lifted its pellet rifle and emptied what was left of its ammunition directly into the last Angel's now-exposed core, causing a critical rupture. The purple mech punctuated its elaborate, deadly maneuvers by kicking off of its opponent into a high-arcing flip, landing upright, with as much grace and poise as a gold medal-winning, Olympic-level gymnast. The detonation of one of the Angels' cores sent the prog knife flying back at the EVA on an explosive shockwave; the mech calmly snatched it out of the air and returned it to the sheath in its shoulder pylon, which then smoothly slid shut.

[NERV Central? Pilot Ikari reporting. All targets neutralized.]

The technical and operations staff on duty in Central Dogma all looked at the onscreen result, gaping open-mouthed at the spectacular carnage the Third Child had wrought; even the science director herself, whose unlit cigarette fell out of her mouth, so great was her near-horror and astonishment at how quickly the fourteen-year-old pilot had disposed of the impossible scenario she had personally designed. All those present were completely and utterly paralyzed with shock and awe–all, that is, save the First Child herself. The sound of applause thus emerged, and once it had done so, it reverberated throughout the gigantic command center, amplified by its own echoes until the area was filled with it. The staff's attention shifted to Rei, staring at her in disbelief for several long moments; then, one by one, they, too, took up the applause, and within minutes, everyone was clapping for the virtuosic pilot of Unit-01. As they did so, they began to wonder whether or not, with the Third Child on their side, the fate of mankind was really so bleak as they had thought–as Second Impact and the return of the Angels had given them cause to believe. The seed of hope had at last been planted in the fertile soil of the human mind.

* * *

><p>Later that night, hours after he had helped Misato to bed, Shinji sat cross-legged in his sparsely-decorated, practically Spartan room, the lights off, the curtains of his windows open. His bare chest shone pale in the moonlight; his eyes were closed, and his breathing was strongly suggestive of a somnolent state, each intake and exhale of air deep and infrequent, though at regular intervals. For all intents and purposes, in fact, he seemed to be meditating, in a trance-state that was both deep and deliberate.<p>

Within the mind of the Third Child, however, things were not quite so quiet as they appeared from without; voices whispered, murmured and shrieked in various emotions–terror, anger, sadness, condemnation–and they grew and grew until they were so loud that he could barely concentrate. His face's neutral expression slowly but surely twisted into a displeased grimace, and it was not long before he batted his arm at one of the disembodied voices, eyes still closed, in a (successful) attempt to dispel the 'thought-noise' he was picking up amidst his sifting and searching through aeon upon aeon of memory.

"You know, Shinji, this would go a lot more quickly and easily for you if you just did what we've been suggesting since day one," came a familiar female voice. The corner of Shinji's mouth quirked up in an amused smirk as recognition flared instantaneously.

"And hello to you, too, Kaede," he greeted. "Long time no see, as the humans say."

An exasperated sigh came from the room's other occupant. "Glib as ever, aren't you?" she remarked. "Though, I suppose that's a good sign, all things considered…" The sound of footsteps on the industrial-grade carpet of the floor kept Shinji appraised of his visitor's whereabouts in relation to the rest of the room; the shadow that appeared behind his eyelids when there had been moonlight moments before informed him that she had either crouched or sat in front of him. A few silent seconds later, he became aware of the sensation of being flicked in the forehead quite firmly. "Hey, Shinji! Don't ignore me!"

Luminous blood-red eyes with diamond-shaped pupils opened in response to his visitor's amiable chiding, like embers cooling, and then fading to their normal cobalt hue, the pupils dilating in concert with the changing color of the irises. Shinji took in the fact that his 'friend,' Kaede, was crouched before him, her head cocked to the side in slight consternation and a small quantity of irritation. Her crimson orbs met his, and without breaking contact, her minor frown righted itself into a subdued smile. "_There _you are. You know, if I had been Azula, you'd be dealing with no small amount of nerve damage right now. In fact, I daresay you'd still be twitching."

"Then I suppose I should be glad it's _you, _then," Shinji replied smoothly.

Kaede reached out and bopped him on the forehead with the heel of her palm. "Don't be a smartass. It's unbecoming."

Shinji barely managed to suppress a grin. "Yes, Kaede."

Her smile shifted to express a certain long-suffering exasperation. "I suppose that's the best I'll end up getting," she mused, almost to herself (no pun intended). She sat down fully and leaned back, supported by her arms, so that the moonlight bathed her shoulder-length pink hair and ivory-colored vestigial horns instead of silhouetting them as she stretched. "Oh, but it _is _good to have a body again–of a sort–_especially _considering what ended up happening to _mine_… Anyways, how are things going?"

A noncommittal shrug summarized his response before a single word had passed between his lips. "Well enough; we're about a week in and there've been no hiccups. We've got Shamshel, the Angel of the Morning, to deal with before we can begin in earnest, though; the first real exchange I had with Rei last time wasn't until the eve and the immediate aftermath of Ramiel and Operation Yashima, and that won't happen for about three weeks, if the pattern holds."

"And Aiko? How is she?" asked the Diclonius, sitting up while trying and failing to keep the alert, anxious tone out of her voice. This did not escape Shinji, but he refrained from commenting all the same; it would be hypocritical of him to do anything but.

"Rei seems to be fine; I did my best to speed up her recovery timetable when I visited, but there's only so much I can do. As you well know, our specialty is rending, not mending," he replied. "If she were a demon, it would be different–then, it would just be a matter of feeding her a bit of my A.T. Field."

"Well, it's about the same concept for fae," Kaede remarked. "It's a bit more time-consuming, true, but you just have to hang around her for a while…which I know from experience to be more easily said than done for us; you don't have to remind me of that."

"I wasn't going to," responded Shinji. "Thankfully, we won't have the Old One poking his head around where it doesn't belong; even if I haven't consumed you yet, I still have recollections of what Kurama _was._"

"Kakuzawa–or Keel Lorenz, as he's called here–will try and make a nuisance of himself regardless, though," she reminded him. "You can't let your guard down _entirely._"

Shinji scoffed dismissively. "Really, Kaede; _that_ monster? I think even _Zeon _will more likely prove problematic than _Kycilia _would, even if we repeated this two hundred I remind you, Lorenz is a bona fide _imbecile._"

"'Pride goeth before the fall,' Shinji; the only reason we've survived this long, in case you've forgotten, is that we don't take chances," admonished the Diclonius. "We don't play with dice, because no matter _what _we call, no matter _how _high the stakes are, they _never _fall in our favor."

Shinji scowled and looked away. "Point taken."

Elegant, smooth, pale-skinned hands grabbed the sides of the Third Child's face and turned it back so that Kaede's crimson eyes could fix upon his with an intensity any normal human would find frightening. "We need to take this seriously, Shinji–we're doing this for Aiko, remember?"

The scowl morphed into a deadly glare, pupils contracted to diamonds, and cobalt eyes glowed scarlet once more. "You think I could forget? _Everything _we have _ever _done has been for _her_: Nunnally, Nagato, Mizore, Aiko, Artesia, Origami, Liara, Mina, Maka, Meetra, Valerie, Yin, Rei–it matters not which form–for her, there is no price too high. I remember _at least _as well as _you _do, Kaede, and right now, I am as devoted as you are to proving that what Larkhill taught us is nothing but a pressure-cooker of lies. Do not think to question my resolve!"

Kaede's gaze softened to a degree that was almost apologetic. "I wouldn't dream of it; I just…" She looked away as her voice broke, a single tear running down her cheek.

Shinji's eyes resumed their normal form as his glare, too, softened, until it was a glare no longer; he reached up and took her hands at the sides of his face and slowly pulled them off, then reached out and wiped away the tear, bringing her attention back to him. "I know, Kaede; I know. And I think I'll take your advice and consume you; we need to be of one mind on this if we are to have any hope of success."

The strange eyes that had so often been the last thing a human being ever saw, so full of emptiness, disdain and loathing, now displayed the full measure of pain that had forged such an embittered mindset–the emotional vulnerability of a little girl who had endured so much cruelty from such a young age, as they all had; she threw her arms around Shinji suddenly, pulling them into a tight embrace. "Just…promise me, Shinji; promise me that once this is done, it'll be over…" she pleaded desperately, trying not to sob.

"I promise, Kaede; after all, even the worst of nightmares must eventually end," he replied soothingly. He looked down at his friend to see her grateful eyes, shimmering with unshed tears. "And like the worst of nightmares, our long aeons of torment, wandering in this purgatory, are about to finally come to a close."

She nodded slowly, her countenance growing steely as she gathered her strength; then, she buried her head into his chest, and began to glow. It flared for an instant, filling the room with hues more varied, vivid and beauteous than the famed _aurora borealis, _before dimming once more, and once it had dimmed, the projection of the soul–the persona, the memories–of Kaede, Queen of the Diclonii, was gone.

Shinji shuddered at the sensation of consuming himself, closing his eyes and concentrating as he chanted, "In the sea without lees standeth the bird of Hermes; eating his wings variable, and maketh himself yet full stable. When all his feathers be from him gone, he standeth still here as a stone. Here is now both white and red, and all so the stone to quicken the dead; all and some without fable, both hard and soft and malleable. Understand now well and right, and thank you, God, of this sight…" His eyes slowly opened, and he gazed out into the vastness of eternity unimpressed, before speaking the last line of his arcane prayer:

"_The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame._"


	2. From Hell

_The Red Sea_

I suppose it started where it would always start, at least for me–at the end of the world. But not _immediately,_ mind you; no, it was probably about three days after Asuka had left, no doubt thinking her precious little 'Baka-Shinji' would simply blindly follow wherever she led, like some kind of loyal mongrel prostrating itself to an insane degree for the smallest scrap of attention or affection. The moment when she realized that wasn't the case was one of the highlights of my week–right up there with strangling the life out of the annoying, arrogant brat. As she left, I had no second thoughts, no self-questioning; it was quite obvious, after all, that she needed me far more than I needed her. Then the realization that it had always been like that dawned, and in retrospect, it had always been so _obvious, _too; it begged the question of why I hadn't seen that _before _wasting the energy of two billion souls in the process of her resurrection, the answer to which was apparent as soon as I noticed the sudden increase in mental capacity, together with an almost unsettling silence in the back of my head. Evidently, there had been an outside influence quite literally screwing with my mind for who knew _how _many years, now, that with Third Impact had vacated the premises, so to speak.

The Bible says that on the third day, the child of God rose from the grave. Now, I don't know how accurate that is, but on the third day when I could really, truly, _clearly _think for perhaps the first time in my life, when my aimless wanderings took me back to that beach on the edge of the sea of blood, _she _appeared.

It was undoubtedly a woman; that much was immediately evident from the proportions of her silhouette, even when viewed from afar. However, as I approached, I noticed a strange phenomenon about the figure–by sight, she was completely and totally unrecognizable; and yet, I had the strangest feeling that I knew her, like someone whose face you could visualize but not link with a name. (I know it's a bad metaphor, but there really isn't a better one–I checked.) Her posture was unassuming, standing straight with her hands clasped in front of her. Her clothes were simple, consisting of an opaque white strapless dress, the hem of which was just below her knees; her skin was flawlessly pale, and her hair was dark brown, her eyes steely grey. As I approached, she turned, meeting my eyes with an intense stare, and I had the distinct feeling that not only was I _expected, _but I was also being _inspected. _

After a while, her searching gaze softened, and she cocked her head, expression apologetic, remaining in place as she rolled on her ankles, her feet bare in the sand. "My lord, it's been a long time since we were able to speak like this," she greeted, her tone familiar and kind even though her words implied deference–no, not strong enough…_reverence_. "If I can hazard to postulate based upon past experience, I don't think you'll be able to recognize me immediately _just _yet, but I doubt my identity will remain hidden for even an hour more; not even the deepest amnesia can keep the Prince of Darkness bound for very long, after all."

"'Prince of Darkness'?" I repeated, trying to place the spark of recognition that engendered in the deeper parts of my mind. After a few seconds of headache-inducing effort, I stopped, resolving to let the recollections dawn in their time and turn, but one thing was becoming apparent: namely, the identity of the woman who stood before me. "_Hikari? _No… I mean, yes, I knew you as Hikari before now, but in reality, you are _Lamia, _the Regent of Hell. But…how do I know that…?"

She smiled innocently, and despite what I remembered of just who and what she was, I couldn't help but believe that smile to be genuine. "It seems that your dear sister has had her fun, and has left you with the ability to remember, now, who you are, upon the event of her departure. Nonetheless, it is good to see you unfettered once more. And since she is gone at last, we can finally speak in private." She took a step closer, reaching out to rest her hand against my cheek; surprisingly, I didn't feel the urge to back away as she advanced, and instead allowed her to touch me, as uncomfortable as I usually was with physical contact–strangely enough, it felt like I was allowing a foster daughter of some sort to feel the structure of my face. "Hear my voice, my lord, and remember…"

The instant those words passed between her lips, it was as if I was back in Unit-01's entry plug, but the sensation was somehow more synchronous, less…intrusive? It felt like it _belonged, _whereas the EVA, no matter how warm and welcoming Ikari Yui's personality transport OS tried to be, always felt like an aberration, to some degree, like a thing that should not be. And as that moment continued, memories and knowledge came flooding back too swiftly to recognize, landing in a chaotic skein of data at the back of my mind; faster and faster was I almost bombarded with facts and figures and details of events that I had no way of knowing, until at last, when I felt like my brain was beginning to melt, something _clicked, _and my soul returned, producing reams upon reams of information, the amount of which dwarfed the data that had been streaming into my head, seemingly out of nowhere. Then it began to organize and take form, and as it did so, beginning to bond with the 'new' information, that sensation faded away, and my vision focused once more upon the woman standing before me, her expression so very…_sad, _all of a sudden.

"My apologies, my lord; it's deceptively easy to forget just how _empty _you are," she explained, her tone tender, as if attempting to comfort even with the knowledge that such an effort would be in vain. "If I may be frank, I do not know how your lover can stomach it, but I am glad she can nonetheless; you have sacrificed so much, _suffered _so much, for our sake and hers. I do not think that any demon in Hell can or wishes to understand just how much their savior, their god, has lost. But, nevertheless, I think it is now my place to ask you: what is your condition currently?"

"Stable enough," I assessed. "It's beginning to return to me…exactly who I am, who I have been…"

She nodded. "I have done my duty, then. I shall now return to Hell and await your return, my lord. May you find some measure of success in your endeavors."

A searing pain erupted in my prefrontal lobe, causing me to close my eyes and hold two fingers to the afflicted area as I nearly doubled over in response to the agonizing sensation; when it had abated enough for me to look up again, she was gone.

* * *

><p>What followed amounts to about three weeks of aimless, dazed wandering, barely stopping to drink or sleep, but never to eat; the mere <em>thought <em>of food caused my stomach to churn to a nausea-inducing degree. My only objective was survival, even as day after day the voices in my head, which had been only a few low whispers at first, grew louder and more numerous. I knew, somehow, what this was; I also knew that if I didn't find a way to rectify the situation quickly and promptly, it was only a matter of time before they drove me completely, incurably insane. Already, I was beginning to hallucinate as the voices in turn picked at my memories, examining, scrutinizing and questioning each one with an alarmingly growing degree of frequency.

I had just seen the incident at Matsushiro replayed for the eighty-second time when I came upon the bookstore that saved me. It was nothing special–a brick-and-mortar shop that catered to a niche market, even amongst collectors of antiques–but I felt a strange pull emanating from the pre-Second Impact structure; a pull that I was in no fit state to even _attempt _to resist. And so I entered, not noticing the bell that still hung from the hinge, nor how well the structure withstood the highly-destructive Third Impact, my perception narrowing to one rather singular bookshelf–specifically, one _particular _book upon that shelf. Desperately, I pulled that old, leather-bound volume off of its perch, and with the last ounce of my sanity, I read through it feverishly, not quite knowing what I was looking for, but recognizing it when I found it. I read the passage out loud upon discovering it, my voice escalating as I tried to hear myself speak above the voices, which were now _screaming _at me, instantly overpowering any attempt on my part to formulate coherent thoughts. Finally, after a great deal of pain–and even greater duress–I managed to finish shrieking out the words, and as I at last rested my voice, all faded to black.

* * *

><p>I awoke what felt like three or four days later, and that book was still open to the exact page at my feet; thankfully, the voices had stopped at last, and so I decided to take a closer look at the text that very well might be said to have saved my sanity. But before I could, a very…<em>familiar<em> voice stopped me in my tracks. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," came the amiable but serious admonition. "Not _yet, _at least. It's powerful stuff you're dabbling with here, and it would be my very heartfelt advice to _you_ that you restrain yourself from looking into it any more until you get to a more stable state of mind."

I chanced to look up at the other person in the room, and was shocked to see a mask staring back at me. The face was of opaque, bulletproof glass, and the crest of the helm looked not unlike a crown. In fact, the other's entire ensemble made him look like a king on a chessboard; upon looking at him, though, a name floated into my mind unbidden: _Zero…_

"'Zero,' huh? I've gotta say, it's been a long time since I've been called by _that _name," he remarked with a mirthless chuckle, gloved hands reaching up from beneath the high, stiff-collared, gold-lined black cloak he wore to the back of the mask; he deftly toyed with some sort of clasp for an instant, and then, with a hiss not unlike depressurization, something slid up the back of it that allowed him to remove the helmet. He removed the cloth half-mask that covered his mouth and nose beneath it, revealing a pale face with delicate, almost feminine features, long, raven-black hair, and an elegant brow beneath which rested a pair of mismatched eyes: one purple, one purple-turned-red, inscribed with a scarlet symbol that resembled a bird in flight. "Ikari Shinji, isn't it? My name is Lelouch vi Britannia, Fourth Imperial Prince, eleventh in line for the throne. Or, at least, I _was; _in my time, I came to be known as the Black Prince, Lelouch the Demon, Zero and the Prodigal Emperor, amongst other, less savory titles. But I suspect you already knew that; after all, you could say we _have _met in the past…"

I shook my head; there was something wrong, something _missing, _about the names he had given. "No, that's not correct… You left out the most important one…" I replied, sure of my words' veracity, but not of the implications thereof. Suddenly, it hit me. "Lelouch Lamperouge, isn't it? Older brother of Nunnally Lamperouge… _That _was the most important one…"

He smiled, not unkindly, but rather sadly. "Remembered all that, have you? Ha. You're correct, of course; Nunnally… Despite everything I said to her near the end of my life, she was the reason I made the contract that gave me the Power of the King, Geass. And though I was made immortal (much to my surprise) I counted that death as the end of my life, because after that point, in order for my gambit to pay off–in order for Nunnally to be kept safe–I could never see my sister again." He locked eyes with me, his expression sympathetic. "I'd imagine you know what that feels like, Shinji. To be separated from someone you trust, someone you confide in…someone you loved, but were powerless to protect."

I nodded; of course I had felt that. The last year of my life had been like a carousel of loss and pain, after all. But when I thought about it, it wasn't the ordeal Asuka had undergone with Arael and what followed that came to mind as one would have thought it would if they had observed how I had acted at the time, but rather, what had happened to Rei with Armisael, and how she had sacrificed herself…for _me… That _was what had caused the pain of loss and the self-hatred that resulted from my helplessness to rear its ugly head. "Rei… She killed herself to save me, and even though I saw her again, it wasn't the same… I had already lost her."

"We are of a kind, you and I, Shinji," he remarked. "We have the power to destroy the world and make it anew, but not the power to protect the woman we love above all others in the entirety of Creation. It's a cruel irony, isn't it?" He chuckled bitterly. "But unlike me, _you _have options with which you might be able to rectify your rather _unenviable_ circumstances. Come; the others wish to meet with you."

I nodded mutely and stood on unsteady legs, then followed what my mind was telling me was an Absolute Terror Field projection (also known as a soul projection); differentiated from an astral projection by its tangibility. The apparition demonstrated this when it supported me as I found steadier footing to continue; from the marked stiffness in my legs, I judged my original estimate of the length of time I spent unconscious to be more or less accurate. He led me out of the dusty old bookshop and into the sunlight, which was at last no longer as harsh and unforgiving as it had been when I entered the store. I noticed that the color of the sky had changed from its sickly yellow shade to its normal blue color from before Third Impact, and then turned my gaze down; it fell upon a medium-sized crowd of apparitions, most of them male, but I spied a significant chunk that were female as well. I turned to Lelouch questioningly, and he simply but gently urged me on in response. Choosing to trust the older man, I took a deep breath and stepped out into the makeshift field, making for the patch of vibrant green amongst all the dead yellow grass that made up the rest of the yard upon which the others stood.

As soon as my foot hit the dead foliage, their gazes turned to me almost in unison, but unlike what I had expected, those gazes held no judgement–only a desire to observe. In this, it was already vastly different from the strange little pep talk that had preceded my decision to kill every human being upon this dead planet…a decision that I found very _difficult_ to regret. Every step of the way, there was someone supporting me and keeping me on the path I had chosen, until at last, we came to mingle amongst the crowd of apparitions, of ghosts of the past–_my _past, I realized with a sense of significance, of gravity. Finally, after several seconds of high, albeit slowly easing tensions, we merged at last with the assembled 'specters', which was immediately followed with a sequence of introductions made, not unlike businessmen mingling at a high-class party, but devoid of the veil of pretense that hung over such events like an oily pall. Each name locked itself into my memory: Kurosaki Ichigo, Himura Kenshin, Levi Ackerman, Raiden, Kain Highwind, Shizuō Heiwajima, Ingus, Sephiroth Crescent, Kefka Palazzo, Revan, Lloyd Asplund, Itsuka Shido and Casval Rem Deikun were only a few faces amongst that sea of identities, of lives through which I had lived.

I didn't know it then, but the ruined city was now a gulag, and I was the first inmate.

* * *

><p><em>Four Years Later…<em>

The sound of footfalls upon black marble flooring reverberated down the corridor and into the library, where I sat on the floor, cross-legged, as I altered the flows of mana around me; black and dark purple currents of energy wove together in intricate, dynamic patterns at my mental command as I looked up and saw one of my past selves standing at the threshold, leaning up against the frame of the door. "Ah, Azula. Good to see you," I greeted. "What brings you here, if I may ask?"

"Not much of substance, Shinji; I just wanted to check up on you," she replied cordially. "You know, when I was alive, I used to do something similar to what you're doing right now whenever I wanted to relax–or at least, to the extent that I _could. _I practiced my firebending if I found myself idle or bored…or both. It helped me devise new ways of using it in combat; that, and blue fire is moderately entertaining to watch play across your fingers."

I chuckled. "I know. I remember," I responded, tapping one finger against my head. "And _because _I remember, I _know _for a fact that you don't _do _social visits. Pray speak clearly: what is it you need me to do?"

She threw her head back, laughing uproariously, and then sauntered in, laying herself out upon the sofa at the side of the chamber. "The others were correct; you _are _a clever one. I'd expect nothing less from myself, of course, but I half-expected Ty Lee would leave behind some reminder of her presence beyond your memories of the time she spent in your head." She let her body go limp on the couch, exhaling in an almost-sigh. "I'm glad to see that isn't the case."

"You and me both," I replied. "It's strange to think back on it even now…how frightened I was over what amounted to basically nothing. When I remember that I've devoured foes more formidable in the space of minutes than all the Angels combined, I guess I have to admire my sister's handiwork–I was quite thoroughly hamstrung."

"Yes, we were; that is why we're proceeding with the Redo, aren't we?" remarked the princess. "To give you another chance at being with the girl we love. It's why we've spent all this time imparting our knowledge onto you, our most recent manifestation, so that once you satisfy your _geis _and devour us, you will know how to use our knowledge and talents to complement your own, as opposed to relying _solely _upon ours. And only once your _geis _has been satisfied can we move forward with the plan. Incidentally, that's what I came here to speak with you about."

The mana from which I was weaving spells idly condensed suddenly into the palm of my hand, and as I clenched it into a fist, the demonic energy winked out, being absorbed into me. "The preparations are complete, I take it, then?"

"Indeed; the time has come," she answered truthfully, her tone all business. "In fact, I have come because I know how much you value us, Shinji; and since you know that you will eventually have to consume all of us in order to fully satisfy your _geis, _and further have no intention of leaving that obligation unfulfilled, I am willing to offer you a compromise–a third option, so to speak. To the point: if you consume but one of us now, you will have sufficiently met the prerequisites of the spell for it to work. You will, of course, eventually need to consume the others, but this gives you more time with them than you would otherwise have."

I looked up at her, surprised and appreciative. "Do the others know? About what you're offering me?"

She snorted. "Shinji, we're a part of your soul. Though we can constitute ourselves into physical forms, the fact remains that the time we had to independently manifest is over; as such, there exist no secrets between us. I couldn't hide my intentions from them even if I cared enough to _try; _thankfully, they approve." She met my gaze levelly. "To be honest, we're _all _sick and tired of being a creature incapable of feeling true happiness; in the past, when our manifestations crossed paths, we usually did our best to indulge each other–ourselves–ugh, what is _with _these inaccurate pronouns?!"

I nodded solemnly. "Very well, Azula, of the blood of Sozin, Crown Princess of the Fire Nation; I hear and accept the terms of your very generous offer."

A small smile crossed her face at that, the kind that she had never worn in life–free of ulterior motive or forced cordiality. "I am glad to hear it, Ikari Shinji, Third Child, Eighteenth Angel; let us then proceed, and may you triumph against all odds to claim victory from the gaping maw of defeat." With that, she swung her legs off of the sofa and walked over to me; as she approached, I stood at ease, awaiting her. When she was close enough, she reached out and laid her painstakingly manicured hand on my chest, and as physical contact was achieved, I could almost _feel _my eyes glowing red as hers did the same, even while the pale, electric blue aura of synchrotron radiation enveloped us both; a moment later, she was gone, the entirety of her memories, knowledge and capabilities consumed.

I looked around the library for one last time, almost as if I was bidding it farewell after so many years spent studying therein, interrupted intermittently by combat training sessions conducted and instructed by my various past selves, before closing my eyes and exhaling; when my eyes opened again, I was physically, mentally and spiritually prepared for the task ahead of me. I took my leave of the manor I had built of stone, wood and spellcraft, walking out into the gloomy courtyard as dusk began to fall. My other selves were conspicuously absent, but I could feel their presence within me when I looked inward, and I kept that in mind as I gazed out to the Red Sea from where I stood, beyond which lay the monument to the failure that I now sought to prevent at all costs. I closed my eyes and threw my head back, breathing deeply of the last air I would taste that belonged to this unacceptable future, and smiled as the first snowflake of winter landed upon my upturned face. It was the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, when I would venture forth across time and space to bring forth a new dawn–I believe there is something poetic in that.

Gingerly, I plucked at the not-yet-melted snowflake between two bare fingers, and upon it I concentrated my energies once more; when I broke off and gazed upon what I had wrought, a spherical crystal filled my grasp, within which a beautiful blizzard raged, but which was otherwise entirely transparent. I suppressed a grimace as I thought back to the last time I had done something like this, an effort which was helped by the knowledge that this time would most _certainly_ be different. Perhaps it was with hubris in my heart that I then began to weave the spells of temporal displacement and reordering, anchoring them to that synthesized crystal as I layered the necessary reality-altering charms down one after the other, layering them as one would a painting, following the instructions I glimpsed in my mind's eye. When it was done, I let out a breath that I had been holding unconsciously, and then plucked the tome that had saved my mind out of thin air.

Since I had encountered this volume, I had read many others, some of which were thought to only exist in the passages of legend–the Book of Thoth, the Book of the Dead, the Necronomicon, and others besides–but the volume I held in my hands had lore enough to surpass them all in danger as well as utility at this point in time. This book, this grimoire, I had once long ago lent to the mortal who became credited with its authorship, and now its arcana would be used to serve me in my task. I spoke its name as I opened its cover and gazed through the secrets contained therein that I had studied: "_Rauðskinna._" It was not long before I located the section that I needed, and once I had, I sat down, cross-legged, with it nestled in my lap as I began to read out the passage in question, the crystal floating in midair above me. A mental command defined the bounded field I would be using in the form of a spell seal–specifically, one inscribed with a septegram and detailed with a mixture of Celtic, Saxon, Scandanavian and Germanic runes, combined with archaic Chinese and Japanese alchemical formulae, Egyptian hieroglyphs, Sumerian cuneiform, ancient Babylonian and Hebrew apocrypha–with the center being defined as the place where I was sitting, and then I began to read.

"The Red Lune. The Spirit of Water. Red Sol. The Red Sea. On the ground there is a hill; also a serpent within a well. His tail is long with wings wide, all ready to flee by every side. Repair the well fast about, that thy serpent pass not out; for if that he be there a gone, thou lose the virtue of the stone: where is the ground you must know here, and the well that is so clear, and what is the dragon with the tail–or else the work shall little avail. The well must run in water clear–take good heed for this your fire; the fire with water bright shall be burnt, and water with fire washed shall be. The earth on fire shall be put, and water with air shall be knit. Thus ye shall go to purification and bring the serpent to redemption; first he shall be black as a crow, and down in his den shall lie full low, swelling as a toad that lieth on the ground, burst with bladders sitting so round. They shall to burst and lie full plain, and this with craft the serpent is slain. He shall shine colors here many a one, and turn as white as whale's bone; with the water that he was in, wash him clear from his sin, and let him drink a little and a light, and that shall make him fair and white, the which whiteness be abiding. Lo, here is a very full finishing of the white stone and the red; lo, here is the very true deed. The Red Lion. The Green Lion. The Mouth of Choleric beware."

With the completion of the section, the crystal radiated a light so brilliant that I was forced to close my eyes lest I be dazzled into blindness; I could feel the energy coursing about me, visualize the magical equations that correlated to the ritual's text, even as the feeling of being adrift upon the surface of time took hold and registered. I steadfastly kept my eyes closed, knowing that to do otherwise would be to lose my way, which would be perilous in the extreme; when finally I felt the sensation of having a corporeal form once more, I knew instantaneously where I had landed by the feeling of alarm reverberating through my head as the liquid I knew by texture to be LCL filled the entry plug. I had been successful.

As Doctor Akagi Ritsuko's reassurances came over the comm., precisely on schedule, I relaxed the manifestation of my younger self as I gained control over it, my younger self's consciousness being both updated to and obliterated by my own simultaneously. I grimaced, but did little else as the catapult launched me up to sea level to do battle with the Third Angel, the first foe I had faced as an EVA pilot. My eyes snapped open, and I started smirking inwardly. _I do hope you're ready, Ikari Gend__ō__; your precious scenario is only the _first _thing I will take from you. By the time I'm done, there will be nothing left but hubris–yours and your wife's–and the rotted fruit thereof for you to reap and harvest. In my capacity as the Prince of Darkness, Lord of the Dark Tower and the Obsidian Throne, this I promise you, _I thought to myself. _But that is not why I have come; rather, I come on behalf of the one whom I love. _An image of Rei flew through my mind at that thought, and it reminded me of the task at hand; with a great exertion of self-control, I returned my attention to my opponent. _First thing's first, however… Before I can do any of that, I must vanquish my foe. _My expression became a full, sinister, predatory smile. _Now then…_

…_Let's begin._


	3. Paradise Lost

_Class 3-A_

To tell the truth, it wasn't as if I had _forgotten_ about the infamous question that let the entire school know who I was; perhaps more along the lines of 'I hope they're not doing this again.' Sadly, on the exact same day as it had happened last time–that being the day that the Fourth Angel, Shamshel, was scheduled to attack–I opened up my electronic notebook's chat room function to find a single, simple query sitting there, waiting for me, almost beautiful in its simplicity but for the implications, both known and unknown to the sender, the inquiry carried. And so, it was with a profound sense of exasperation that I answered, 'Yes, I am an EVA pilot,' then braced myself for the oncoming tidal wave of prying and somewhat childish questions.

A few hours later, I was regretting greatly the necessity of shying from unnecessary aberrations time travel introduced; I still understood that necessity, of course, but it was almost an _indignity _to stand maddeningly still as Suzuhara Tōji telegraphed his attack, then followed through with his almost painfully slow punch. Moreover, I felt downright foolish as I faked the impact the blow possessed upon contact, and more than a little embarrassed on his behalf. _The things I do for love…_

Almost on cue, as if Causality and Serendipity had put aside their differences and banded together to fuck with me further, and thereby add insult to injury, Rei approached after Tōji and Kensuke departed. "The next Angel has been detected," she informed me in her characteristic monotone. "We are being summoned to NERV."

I nodded mutely as I gazed up at her as surreptitiously as possible, gladdened by the fact that thanks to what I had done, she was out of the bandages the injuries she had sustained during the Unit-00 activation test fiasco had forced her to wear, but simultaneously somewhat mortified that she would come upon me in such a compromising position–flat on my back for the sake of satisfying the pride of someone I had once, and will hopefully once more, call a friend. I took comfort in the thought, however, that whoever had said that distance makes the heart grow fonder certainly knew what he was talking about (the bastard); seeing Rei healthy again seemed to make the unfortunate things I had had to do on this day alone pale into minor inconveniences. "Acknowledged and understood," I sighed as I picked myself up off of the ground and brushed off the dust that clung to my short-sleeved white button-down. "Ayanami-san, it is…gladdening to see you well again, truly." I gave her a small smile, then turned about and trotted off to the nearest entrance to the GeoFront.

My body was largely on autopilot as I walked into the men's locker room and then went through the familiar motions of preparing for an Angel attack; it was a surreal feeling to look back on this moment as it had occurred five years ago, from my perspective at least, and remember how clumsily I had handled the rubbery polymers of my plugsuit, not quite used to how to don it yet. Now I was as deft as I had ever been, and it took barely a thought to correctly slip into the synthetic garment and activate its vacuum seal, causing it to conform quite snugly to my admittedly skinny form. In retrospect, it was not all that different from assuming my costume as Zero, which had been designed to double as a devicer's bodysuit. I reached up to clip my A-10 receivers into place, and then exited the locker room, heading directly out into the EVA cages, past the throngs of technicians, engineers and analysts, and then into Unit-01's entry plug. I sat relaxed as the operations staff orchestrated the loading sequence and the plug filled with LCL, awaiting my launch and the beginning of my sortie against the Angel of the Morning.

[Okay, Shinji,] came Misato's voice. [The Angel will be within the designated combat range in a few minutes, so sit tight. We'll have Rei on standby in Unit-00; she's already been briefed on what she needs to do.]

_That _didn't sit well.

I bolted upright as if hit with a jolt from an exposed cable. "What do you mean, 'she's already been briefed'?!" I asked urgently, not bothering with even attempting to conceal my alarm. "How did she get here before me?!"

[Section Two picked her up,] she responded, her tone suggesting she was unsettled by mine, which I didn't particularly care about. [Why…]

"It's unimportant," I interrupted, my voice a curt dismissal. I communicated to the EVA my desire to have the feed cut, and the Angelic clone obeyed instantaneously. My next words would be private. "It's fine, Shinji," I said to myself. "You just need to neutralize the Angel quickly, and with a minimum of damage sustained to the EVA itself. Child's play." Such reassurances, though, came as a cold comfort; remember what I said about the need to avoid unnecessary aberrations? Well, this is also a great example of how no good deed goes unpunished. Regardless, my task was clear: until I could get some reassurance that Unit-00 wouldn't go berserk again, and on basic principle, my priority would be to keep Rei out of the line of fire, out of danger. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down; acting rashly would be ill-advised at this stage in the game. _Inhale…exhale. Remember, Shinji, meikyo shisui. That is the key to your triumph; be the eye of the hurricane. _I opened my eyes slowly at first, then snapping them open the rest of the way; my resolve would carry me to victory. I just needed to remember that; composure and resolve. _Rei…_

[EVA LAUNCH!]

* * *

><p>Shamshel was exactly as I remembered it–a misshapen, fish-like creature with tendrils not unlike the barbels of a catfish. As per usual, my primary directive was to keep moving; enemies have a much more difficult time hitting a moving target than a stationary one, and with the EVA's lack of mid-range offensive capability, as would be my preference, I needed to stay alive and functional until such time as I could close to range and end this quickly. For that purpose, I sprung off of the catapult as soon as the bolts disengaged, and then began to tack my way to my opponent, mindful of the fact that my umbilical cable had only so much range, and as such could only be tangled around so many buildings. An errant thought crossed my mind–<em>It's at times like these that I wish I had my custom Zaku, at least (to say nothing of my dear Shinkirō); even a <em>standard-issue _Minovsky drive would be better than what passes for a battery around here! Not to mention the design limitations the presence of biological components introduces…_–but I shut those thoughts off and filed them away for later analysis, refocusing on the battle before me.

It was at this point that reality saw fit to remind me of a singular fact: no plan, no matter how perfect, flawless or foolproof, ever quite survives first contact with the enemy.

With a sense of dawning exasperation, I glimpsed Tōji and Kensuke sneaking out of their shelter and into the open air, Kensuke with video camera in hand and no doubt rolling. _The fools! What in the name of all that is profane do they think they're doing?! Of all the fucking… _I severed that line of thought at its source, switching into solution mode. _Okay…first priority is to keep Rei out of the fight; for that reason, I've got to divert Shamshel before I go to retrieve them. Otherwise, the EVA will probably take damage, and Misato will give the order to retreat. She was always too timid in the beginning, damn her…_ I locked my eyes and my focus upon the Angel just as I entered the effective range of its tendrils, and so I managed to just barely dodge its first strike by showing it only my profile, then twisted and ducked out of the way of the second flailing tentacle that was obviously meant to take out my head. I used my momentum to twist into the position to connect to what seemed to be the thing's head with an open-palmed chop; the blow itself met and was diverted by the Angel's Absolute Terror Field, but the force behind the attack still caused my opponent to strike the ground hard enough to leave a sizeable crater. When it rebounded due to the elasticity of its A.T. Field, I greeted its underside with a powerful uppercut, and as it sailed upwards, I leapt into the air, flipped at the apex of my arc and drove it back down to the earth with a rather brutal drop-kick, granted force by virtue of the fact that after I connected, I followed my foe throughout its descent; as it crashed onto the battlefield, I crouched to lessen the strain on the EVA's joints from the landing, and launched myself from there, springing for my classmates. "Misato, two of my classmates are out in the open," I called into the comm. "The enemy is dazed; I'm moving to collect them now." With a thought, I cut off her response, focusing on the next phase of my amended strategy–namely, the recovery of the brazen idiot I called a friend and his military otaku companion.

I turned and crouched as I closed on their position, extending the EVA's hand and lowering it to their level, then partially ejecting the entry plug and opening the hatch. "Hey, Suzuhara-san, Aida-san, get on!" I shouted, my tone brooking no argument; as I expected, they climbed on, and as they did, I sat back down in the entry plug, bringing them up to the back of the EVA's neck. Thankfully, they got the hint and climbed into the plug behind me, allowing me to close the hatch and fully insert it back into the giant cyborg–and not a moment too soon; the Angel had gotten its bearings and, even as I shot into action, closing in on its position, it saw fit to sever my umbilical cable, just as it had with my previous battle.

_Now _I was _pissed._

[…inji! _Shinji! _Your cable's been severed, you've got one minute of power, and you've got civilians on board! Retreat and get back to the catapult! That is an order!]

"Screw that!" I snapped in response, popping my shoulder pylon and drawing my prog. knife, then spreading my arms. "This bastard needs to go…_now!_" I focused, letting the beast's rage and bloodlust fuel me as I closed to effective mêlée range, ignoring the flailing tentacles and each wound they inflicted; I extended my off-hand towards the Angel, my A.T. Field scything through my opponent's as if it was wet tissue paper, even as my other arm reared, preparing to strike. When I was close enough, I plunged my progressive knife into the Angel's cherry-red, spherical core with a cry of "_NOW YOU DIE!_"

The Angel's Super Solenoid Organ fractured into a web of cracks not unlike a spider's web, white light pouring forth from the rupture before it shattered entirely, and my opponent's tendrils, glowing with energy, went dark as its fish-like form went slack. The entry plug went dark as the EVA's battery finally ran out, but it didn't matter. I exhaled into the LCL around me in relief and let my heavy eyelids slide shut; Shamshel was dead.

"Hey, how did you get your eyes to turn red like that?" asked Kensuke after a moment of silence.

"Optical illusion," I replied automatically, not even trying to keep the curt irritation and venom out of my voice. "You're a civilian; you only escaped having your brain fried thanks to the fact that your birthday was after Second Impact. Be thankful for that."

That pretty effectively silenced any further attempts at conversation.

* * *

><p>"What were you thinking?! How <em>dare <em>you disobey a direct order! I am your superior officer!" shrieked Misato. "Those were civilians! You had no right to just…"

"They were in the AO, Misato. What would you have had me do?!" I sighed loudly, expressing my exasperation as my forehead sought sanctuary in the center of my palm. "Look, they're safe and the target is neutralized. Honestly, I fail to see the problem here."

"The _problem _here was your reckless gamble!" she returned.

"That _paid off!_" I retorted, lifting my head from my hand and enunciating each word. "Misato, I don't see why you see fit to argue with my results! _Lorem ipsa, _much?"

She scowled and turned away. "I should have sent Rei out; she'd at least be more reliable than someone who'll ignore orders and run off half-cocked, to say nothing of…"

"_THAT'S ENOUGH!_" I snapped, causing her to whirl about in shock. I delivered my next words as calmly as I could manage, though I feared that my outraged trembling belied the attempt at civility somewhat. "There will be no talk of needlessly endangering Rei. I _will_ pilot the Evangelion, but I will not–I _cannot _allow her to be put into jeopardy while I can prevent it! We're soldiers, Misato, not tools–not for you, not for the commander, not for _anyone_–not even the God-forsaken _Human Instrumentality Committee! _Do I make myself _clear?!_"

Misato nodded, though clearly mystified. "Why do you rush to protect her?" she asked, almost absently, obviously distracted from her previous diatribe.

"Why? Because everyone has _something_; Hell, everyone _needs _something–or some_one, _as the case may be. Suzuhara-san has his sister; Makoto and Aoba have whatever semblance of their families survived Second Impact, you have…" I stopped almost too late; I resolved to pass off what I was about to say as a realization that I didn't know what she had. "Everyone has some_thing _or some_one _that keeps them going–something that they will protect at all costs. Rei is mine, and has been since the very beginning. Keep that in mind as you plot your _strategies._" I exhaled in a huff with the realization that I may well have said too much. "I'll be at the apartment if you need me. With your leave, _Captain Katsuragi?_"

She nodded, obviously taken aback, but I couldn't care less; I turned on my heel and walked right out of her office, past my classmates' motionless, eavesdropping forms, and out of the GeoFront. Whatever happened–if Ramiel had chosen to deviate from the schedule and launch its attack right then and there–I wouldn't have given a shit. At that moment, there was one thing that I needed to be able to think in a clear, rational fashion, as the situation necessitated.

I needed some air.

* * *

><p>The last time I had defeated Shamshel, I had fled in the aftermath–no, not 'fled'; that word implies that I had some definitive destination in mind. I <em>wandered <em>after that same shouting match with Misato ended in me getting slapped. And in my wanderings, I had stumbled upon a certain waterfall that granted a _spectacular _view of Tokyo-3. It was to this waterfall that I now hiked, my violoncello and a folded chair in tow; it took an hour and a half, but when I arrived, set up my perch, sat down, brought out the instrument and began to play, it was most definitely worth it. I knew that in order to back up my claim from earlier, I had not the leave to take the week or two off that I had taken prior, even though I had a fairly firm idea that I _could, _in fact, take that long to allow the boneheaded Section Two agents to find me, but even considering that, it was strangely therapeutic to take a few hours, hike into the mountains, and just _play._

I warmed up with Verdi, allowing my fingers to readjust to the instrument that, from my perspective, I hadn't played in _months. _After a while, a strange sort of muscle memory began to kick in, and I could play at performance tempo; once I reached that status, I swiftly switched over to the works of a fellow perfectionist–namely, one Johann Sebastian Bach and his Cello Suites–and, together with the tranquil roaring of the waterfall, as well as in contrast to the destruction my battle with the Fourth Angel had wrought, it was one concordant, dissonant moment of Paradise.

My lessons with my past selves had covered many things–from combat, to piloting, to magic, to academics (philosophy, mathematics, the humanities, and the sciences, with the last of them being taught by one Earl Lloyd Asplund), to the arts–and one thing that they had all seen fit to impress upon me was the interrelation between all the disciplines (a doctrine they referred to with complete seriousness as 'Imperial Privilege'). As such, this instrument and others I had been instructed to mastery in during my time in their able and apt tutelage. Simultaneously, however, I also learned not to do anything for its own sake, and so, even as I played, my mind was in rapid, perpetual motion, charting courses, formulating strategies, accounting for contingencies, troubleshooting, and going over memorized schematics of the various mecha I had piloted over the course of my long, _long _existence, comparing and contrasting with the Evangelion to see what kind of modifications in what places that I could make to maximize my overall combat effectiveness. It was at times like these when I reveled in being an INTJ–free association is a beautiful, _beautiful _thing, really.

When the sun began to sink below the horizon, I finished playing the last note in the long, technically difficult arrangement I had taught myself to be able to recite and reproduce entirely from memory; thus, I began to pack up my effects, acknowledging that it was time for me to return to Misato's apartment and make dinner. Truthfully, I do not _wish _to know how that woman managed to survive, or what manner of various toxic substances upon which she subsisted, before my arrival; I counted that event, then, as a gift from on high (read: my older sister) to her, and later, to Sōryu. I took a moment to recognize the mirth in the fact that I could honestly reply that yes, I _am _God's gift to women, as far as she was concerned–the gift of the culinary arts, that is, but there was no need to trouble her 'pretty' little head about _that _minor, positively insignificant little detail–while packing everything up and preparing to embark upon the return trip back down the mountain.

Much to my surprise, I was not the first one back at the apartment; Misato had taken it upon herself to drink herself into a stupor, if all the whiskey bottles scattered around her were anything to go by. I took a moment to thank the powers that be that she hadn't yet found the special absinthe I kept in my room's hidden refrigerator for cooking purposes before putting my effects down in my room as quietly as I possibly could, then going back into the main dining area, picking up my guardian's limp, unconscious body as gingerly as I was able to, and then carrying her into her room and laying her out upon her futon. With that done, I returned to the kitchen and fashioned for myself a bowl of miso and a pot of tea; I consumed the miso rather quickly, while the tea I took with me out onto the balcony. I thus enjoyed it cup by cup as I looked out over the recovery efforts, knowing that the next day would be the day that Suzuhara apologized, and further, that starting tomorrow, I would have limited time to put the next phase of my elaborate stratagem into effect before Ramiel attacked and I would finally get an excuse to get closer to Rei–a sort of reward, I suppose, for my hard work and forbearance to date.

However, there was a rather pressing issue presented by the battle today: the Evangelion gave out almost before I was finished with it. I remembered the specs; without the umbilical cable, the EVA would run for five minutes on passive mode, but only one on active. Worse, when I _did _have the umbilical cable, it came close to curtailing my mobility several times throughout the day's fight. Both of these issues required resolution, and even the part of me that housed the engineering know-how I had acquired as Lloyd could only come up with proverbial 'Band-Aid' solutions–not viable for the long term, and only barely viable in the short. Ultimately, the only fix that would solve my issues across the board would be to ingest a Super Solenoid Organ, and thereby grant my EVA one, as soon as possible; then, I would be able to get Unit-01 to dance like a twelfth-generation Knightmare Frame. It was a problematic solution, but it seemed as though it was the only real, viable one available to me at this point in time. I resolved at that moment to see it done.

That finished, I proceeded to the analysis of my piloting data. To this end, I used my school notebook to set up a proxy IP address, then to relay my false information off of a number of different servers that changed by the second to no fewer than six, which was the minimum number, I judged, that was safe to use; any less, and there was too great a risk that they would discover the IP to be false, and thus proceed to trace it back to me. This elaborate network in place, I went on to access the MAGI supercomputer's database, feeding all of the entry plug data back to me so that I could better troubleshoot, and perhaps figure out where I could improve while in the pilot's chair. Given the sensitive nature of my task, I could accept nothing less than absolute perfection in every aspect of my combat performance–granted, it wouldn't make me worthy of Rei, but it would most certainly be a sure step in the right direction, at least. Making use of my memory, I juxtaposed a mental image of my piloting data from my previous battle against the Fifth Angel, Ramiel, against my piloting data from Sachiel and Shamshel, ignoring my combat simulation results entirely. The evaluative results appeared promising, but not enough; I could not allow such a great margin for error while the life of the one most precious to me was at stake.

_So this is what it feels like to fight for a cause that you believe in, _I thought to myself, almost marveling at the faint sensation. _It's been so long, I'd almost forgotten what that feels like, truth be told… _I was loathe to use the Lance flagrantly–every use increased the chance that the old men at SEELE would judge me too unreliable, too uncontrollable, too much of a loose cannon to be worth the risk or the benefit, and thus attempt to terminate me, even if they condemned their precious scenario to the pits of Hell in so doing (_truly, human xenophobia at its finest, _I thought); however, if it came right down to it, I would use it to neutralize Ramiel if it meant sparing Rei from coming to harm. _No-one_ would lay so much as a _finger _on her, I vowed to the cosmos at large with every breath I took, and I would eliminate anyone who even _thought _to try with _extreme _prejudice. That was my mission, and I would hold to it with every ounce of my resolve, no matter whatever else came to pass.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon when I finally retired.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry for what I did to you yesterday," said Tōji during lunch hour. He turned his cheek and continued speaking. "Go ahead and punch me. Punch me, and we'll be even."<p>

I put on a show of neutrality, but internally, I was chuckling to myself. "I don't want to hit you, Suzuhara-san. What I did was inexcusable; I put your sister, the one most precious to you, in danger. My punishment for such a deed was yours to decide."

"But you saved her from being killed," he objected.

"All the same," I countered. "What good is a personal code if you do not subject yourself to it as you do everyone else? If you had endangered Rei, for instance, I would have taken a pound of your flesh as retribution, because I would have decided that to be a fair compensation. Although, I _do _hope that we can put this behind us and become friends henceforth." I extended my hand out to him as a peace-brokering diplomat would an olive branch. He took it, of course, and we shook hands, parting as friends, much to Aida's surprise, no doubt; still, I did not make a habit of accounting for the opinions of fools like him, and I did not plan on doing so, either. Thus, I counted this a successful meeting, all things considered. Now all that was left was to prep for Ramiel's arrival. The octahedron would require careful forethought if I wished for the battle to go any better now than it did when last I faced it, and believe me–I certainly did.

Class was a bit of a drag, even considering the fact that I paid absolutely zero attention to the lesson and rather spent my time laying the groundwork for Ramiel, but the fact that Rei was here, and that she was unharmed, kept me going throughout the tedium. Thankfully, my planning did not need to conflict with the lesson, as everything the teacher was saying coincided with data I already possessed, and so my pursuit of my goal could continue without my marks suffering one whit–honestly, it was quite the refreshing feeling, that sensation. And it wasn't often at all that I got to feel those, really.

Sensation.

Humans really do take that for granted, don't they? The ability to _feel–_sad, angry, happy, joyous, loved; ever since my eyes had been opened with regards to my true identity, that being that I was but one manifestation of the demon, Rain…no, ever since Third Impact, I had felt nothing approaching emotional sensation. All I had after gaining back my memories and awakening at last was the absolute certainty that I loved Ayanami Rei, to the exclusion of all else in this wasteland of a world, that in its jealous servitude to her continued limping on long past the time when it would otherwise have failed and given out, becoming in appearance the dead hunk of rock and pile of corpses that it was in actuality. And granted, that was enough to move forward, but to what end? Not even I, the one orchestrating all of these thousand subtle manipulations to the course of events that I remembered experiencing, knew the answer to _that_ question. But was it a dire question that demanded answering right this moment? I thought not. I thought not, and so I continued as I was. It was that simple.

Of course, the benefit to being an unfeeling abomination was that it allowed me to think perfectly rationally, with emotions providing the variables for true competence, but without their propensity to screw up one's judgement. It wasn't an ideal solution, of course, much like removing a soldier's ability to feel pain did not then make them an ideal operative, but it was enough, at least for the present moment in time. As I often liked to say, the world of _is _never coincides with the world of _should, _and as such, I had to make do with what I had–adapt or die: truly, the purest of Nature's directives, and one perverted by humanity's immense hubris, its metaphorical Tower of Babel; a tower that I would all too willingly pull down upon their foolish little heads–just…like…_that_.

After school, it was off to NERV Central for the first round of post-battle synch tests; it was curious to see how the MAGI were unable to comprehend the notion of a pilot overriding the EVA's preexisting personality, and so only registered it as a synchronization ratio, even though that was anything _but _what it truly turned out to be. Still, in the entry plug, there was no one there to actively ignore, and so I merely ran through energy equations in my head whilst holding the reins on the savagery that the personality transplant OS was meant to shield me from, calculating rapidly in an attempt to figure out how I could bring the tech from my previous mech-oriented lives here, and get them in some semblance of working order. These calculations didn't stop when I returned to the apartment, either; I picked up a sketchbook and began drawing diagrams and charts, and working out long, complicated strings of advanced, multivariable calculus in my valiant (if I may say so) endeavours. Before long, I had redesigned the Shinkirō to my personal Lloyd Asplund threshold of quality, aesthetics and operational performance, not to mention perfected the Gawain far beyond the minimum capacity that Rakshata was able to torture out of my poor, abused brainchild, but progress in upgrading the Evangelion continued at a metaphorical snail's pace, given the design constraints the biological components _still _posed, which meant that both excessive heating and an effective method of cooling were utterly out of the question. It was at times like these that I respected Akagi Ritsuko; it would be an order of magnitude easier to be working with metal yet again, as opposed to now that flesh had to be taken into account, with all its flaws as well.

My calculations all ceased, however, the moment that Ritsuko asked me to give Rei her new I.D. card.


	4. Paradise Found (Gungnir Strikes)

_Tokyo-3_

_Here I am, _I thought to myself. _I'm outside of the door of the apartment of the woman I love, and I feel like I did then. _Of course, that was to be expected; historically, I was never comfortable being the aggressor in a relationship–it tended to make things fall apart rather quickly. At times like these, I came close to envying the easy rapport that my lieutenant, Daerys, and my apprentice, Zack, shared; granted, Zack was a notorious womanizer, and Daerys, a succubus, but still, it's difficult to look at them, even _knowing _that, and not wish that you had the same easy time conversing with the one you love. Still, this was what I had been waiting for for so long, and as such, it would be in poor form to allow my nerves to get the better of me now. _Remember your resolve, Rain, _I thought to myself, using the name that was still unfamiliar with my tongue to refer to myself.

With that admonition in mind, I went ahead and knocked lightly but firmly on her door. I responded to her utterance of "Come in," instead of taking advantage of the fact that the door to her apartment was still ajar as I had last time. I wandered about, trying my hardest to conceal my nerves; I moved toward the pair of glasses on the top of the dresser, since it was the only point of interest that would put my back directly to her as she entered, all the while keeping mindful of the fact that I was not to touch those spectacles if I did not want a repeat of the awkwardness that characterized the last time I had been here with Ayanami–with Rei. To that end, I followed my own advice, for once, and merely looked at the glasses. Of course, it was just my rotten luck that, to my surprise, I turned around after what I judged to be a suitable amount of time for Rei to get dressed, only to find her right behind me; I stumbled backwards, knocking into the dresser behind me, and it was only then that my brain clicked, allowing me to remember, much to my embarrassment, that the dresser I was standing before was the one that held her undergarments. I was in the midst of berating myself for making such a boneheaded error as I twisted my body mid-fall so as to cushion Rei's seemingly inevitable descent. The result? Unlike last time, Rei was now on all fours atop me, instead of the other way around, with her various articles of clothing strewn out about us on the floor.

Well, it certainly wasn't ideal, but it was a start.

"I'm sorry for making you fall, Ayanami-san," I found myself saying, my mouth forming words on autopilot, my will too distracted and divided to impel it to action as I would obviously have preferred. As it was, I was focused on keeping my eyes locked with her beautiful crimson orbs, so as to avoid the very awkward blushing and unwieldy bashfulness that would almost certainly result if I allowed my gaze to drift any further down than her chin. "_Gomen nasai._"

"_Shikata ga nai,_" she responded almost instantaneously. After presumably appraising herself of her situation, Rei rose from her place atop me, giving me leave to get up and hurriedly brush the semi-illusory dust from the floor off of my shirt. "So, what brings you here, Shinji?" she asked with her typical cool, nonchalant monotone. "I would not have cause to believe this to be a social visit."

"Unfortunately, no," I responded, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment. I fished the I.D. card out of my pocket and extended it out to her in an earnest attempt to save face. "Akagi-san was at the apartment Katsuragi-san and I share last night, and she asked me to give you this."

She took it courteously, scrutinizing its front and back, and then accepting it with a bob of her head. "_Arigat__ō__, _Shinji. It is good that you came to give this to me now; I was planning to get dressed and then head to NERV Central, after all, and it would have been inconvenient to try and do that with a non-functional identification card."

"_D__ō__ itashimashite, _Ayanami-san," I responded, biting back a planned apology for my timing in light of what she had just said. "It was my pleasure to serve. Though, I, too, should be making way to NERV Central myself. If you're willing, perhaps we might…go together?"

"That would be…acceptable," she replied, bending over to pick up suitable underwear from the floor, causing me to avert my eyes so as to preserve her modesty (such as it was, but even still).

"_Hai. _Well then, I'll just wait outside for you, then, Ayanami-san," I acknowledged, taking the time to excuse myself–or at least, to _attempt _to do so. I had turned around and was about to exit, when her voice stopped me dead.

"You can stay here; I do not mind," she interjected. "Unless, of course, you find something about my appearance to be objectionable?"

I turned back around, waving my hands in front of me, as if in an attempt to dismiss such notions from the room entirely. "_No! _No, it's not that," I exclaimed. "It's just…"

Rei cocked her head. "What?" she asked quizzically. "What is it?"

Much to my chagrin, I began to feel heat rising in my face. _{Aw…how cute!} _"It's just that…ordinarily, the protocol would be to preserve your modesty! That is all," I gasped, almost immeasurably grateful to get my explanation off of my chest.

The one most precious to me nodded her understanding. "I see," she said at last. "But you have already seen me in this state. It would be irrational to try and protect my modesty in front of one to whom it is already compromised, would it not?"

"I…" I reddened even further; it was obvious that she was teasing me, turning my own wording against me in such a manner, but deep down, I was thankful; the more time I could spend merely being in her presence, the better. _Just as soon as I can get _you _to shut up, ADAM! _I thought to the alien entity that had been almost silent these past two or three weeks. _You're not helping matters!_ I allowed my attention to return to what was right in front of me, and the sight made me flush in earnest; I could almost hear Rei laughing at my expense upon seeing how flustered she had gotten me.

Almost twenty minutes later, Rei was dressed and we were walking together on our way to NERV Central; when I woke up that morning, I had realized that today was the day that we would come to face Ramiel, and thus the earliest opportunity for me to get closer to the one I loved without having to fabricate an excuse. The thought had almost made me gleeful, but ultimately, like with anything else, I was fatalistic–almost _painfully _so, in fact. But even so, it almost felt as if it wasn't enough; the urge to reach out and grasp Rei's hand was so strong that I reached out to do it, not once, not twice, but _thrice, _before my self-control reasserted itself. Though, by that time, something miraculous happened; Rei, seeing my struggle against myself, decided to, for whatever reason–I do not pretend to know her mind on this, or her reasons behind executing this course of action, but what have you–quite literally take matters into her own hands. I looked down at our conjoined hands, astonished that she had made such a move–astonished, but at the same time, I felt very much encouraged. It was almost as though she was giving me leave to be bolder, but I kept in mind the admonition that things are not always as they seemed.

Yet, I had to know.

"Um… Ayanami-san?" I asked.

"'Ayanami-san' again? Why so formal, Shinji?" she asked in return.

"Why?" I queried, eyes dilated, mouth open–feigning genuine surprise quite well, if I do say so myself. "Because I have not been given leave to do anything but. Does my formality displease or offend?"

"A minor form of the former," she replied. "My given name is Rei. Please refer to me by that in the future, Shinji, or I will not be held responsible if I revert to calling you '_Ikari-kun._'" I may well have overplayed my hand a slight bit there, since my formal mode of address had brought her to such a state of distaste that she was threatening me if I should continue with it, but in my experience, it was always safer to be more formal than less; any given person was exponentially less likely to close up if you referred to them by an overly-formal mode than by a presumptuous and rude one–that, and formality was not necessarily a two-way street, per se. Nevertheless, progress was made, and it warmed my cold, unfeeling heart–truly. I allowed it, thus, to put a smile on my face; a small one, but the only thing that was meant to be large about it was its veracity, its substance…it was a genuine smile, and not one that I could reliably reproduce if I tried–a manifestation of an emotion I had never felt. Instead of chatting, which might have been common to other couples, we merely went about the remainder of the journey to Central Dogma in companionable silence–and for us, it was enough for us to enjoy the fact of each other's company.

As for me, I savored it as much as I could.

For I knew that Ramiel, Angel of Thunder, was on the horizon.

And time was short.

* * *

><p>"Wha…what happened?"<p>

I was displeased with my voice; it was weak, presumably from dehydration, such that it resembled a croak more closely than anything that even remotely resembled an instrument with the capacity to produce something close to human speech. I registered the fact that I was looking up at a ceiling that really should be familiar, but because of the strange technicalities concerning chronomancy, was very much the opposite. _An unfamiliar ceiling… How so very trite,_ I thought to myself with a sharp sting of rather bitter irony and disgusted amusement.

"You went out to face the Fifth Angel, but we were unprepared for the full magnitude of destructive force that it could bring to bear. Thus, Captain Katsuragi ordered you withdrawn. She seems to care for you a great deal," pronounced Rei from her seat at my bedside.

"Ah… I remember," I said. _That _had been why I had focused upon savoring the time I had to spend with Rei–because after weeks of planning, I could not figure out a way around Ramiel's initial assault; the math just didn't add up. No matter which route I calculated, when I took into account the Angel's response time, my response time, the _Evangelion's _response time, and how long it would take for the primary and secondary lock bolts to disengage under stress, there always remained a one hundred percent certainty that I would sustain enough damage to warrant a withdrawal order from its beam before I could do a damn thing about it. And so I did the best I could; treating the EVA's A.T. Field like the Absolute Defense Field Territory on my Shinkirō, I resequenced all of its octagonal sections to align directly before the point that Ramiel would attack with its high-energy particle beam, thus decreasing the amount of damage taken by my EVA to a significant degree. Still, the strain that the effort put on my body, combined with the damage that the mech _had _taken, which had fed back all the more clearly for my eschewing of the personality transplant OS, had rendered me unconscious._ {Tch. My little sister really _should _learn to know her limits. Overexerting yourself in such a fashion will only get you killed.}_

_ Shut _up_! Don't you think I know that? It's just that that's not an option._

_ {I fail to see how it not being an option makes it not an option…}_

I put my forehead into my hand, then shook my head to clear out the peals of ADAM's mental laughter that followed, reverberating throughout my skull. "So, Rei, what's the plan? What _marvelous _battle strategy have Misato and the rest of the operations staff concocted?"

Rei brought her book up to conceal the lower half of her face, for reasons that I could really only fantasize about (that being her smiling behind it, for all of you with your minds in the gutter; actually, though! Why does the word 'fantasize' have such a risqué connotation in this day and age?! I ask you…) and proceeded to explain the unholy medley of audacity, impossibility and sheer _insanity_ that constituted Operation Yashima–so named after a legendary battle between the Taira and the Minamoto clans of the _Sengoku Jidai _during the twelfth century of the since-named Common Era. As per usual, Misato's idea of strategy was to point me at a problem and tell me to shoot it–much like when I was the being known as 'Alucard,' and she, 'Sir Integra'. Still, I had no problem with it that I would voice–I would simply make use of my trump card if things got too involved out there. Wait, scratch what I just said; it wasn't true. "I have no problem with the plan," I began carefully, "except for the fact that it puts you in danger for my sake."

Rei's eyes widened–the closest that I figured I would ever get to her blushing. "If you are worried about whether or not I am suited to complete the duty I have been assigned, I can assure you that I am more than capable of completing my task," she objected, her voice remaining perfectly level despite the myriad thoughts and emotions that I'd like to imagine were going through her mind at that single moment.

"It's not a function of that," I explained, slightly insulted despite myself. "If I were to have faith in no one else in this world or any other, I would believe in you before I would myself. So never think for so much as a _second, _Rei, that I doubt you in _any _capacity whatsoever; I don't like you being put in danger because it pains me to see you be hurt." I shrugged. "That is all."

"…Forgive me, but I must prepare for battle," said Rei after a long, terse silence. She got up and left the room, her pace unhurried, but somehow still tense regardless. I watched her go with a silent gaze, and after the door closed behind her, I bowed my head, closed my eyes, smiled and chuckled ruefully as I swung that part of my body back and forth. _Smooth, Rain. _Real _smooth._ I lifted my head, my expression flattening into neutrality, and opened my eyes, utterly focused on the task at hand as I swung my legs over the edge of the hospital bed and stood upon my unsteady feet. _Nevertheless, we _must _neutralize Ramiel. And Rei must _not _come to harm. At any cost, these two objectives must be achieved. It seems, then, that I have my work more than cut out for me. The Holy Lance had better be up to the task…_

* * *

><p>I walked out of the men's locker room, pressing down on the vacuum activation plate on my bracer and allowing the seal to force my plugsuit to conform to my body, having already snapped my A-10 clips into place, as I looked up to see Rei doing the same at the other end of the EVA cages. I stilled at the sight of her silhouetted against the moonlight that streamed through from the GeoFront, transfixed by the beauty of the image–by the beauty of <em>her <em>image. It was only for a second, though, so thankfully, I was able to camouflage my near-slip; as we came to meet in the center, I turned about and leaned against the railing as she stood.

"Don't worry about the battle," she reassured me. "I shall do my best to protect you."

"Weren't you listening? That's not what I'm worried about." I shook my head ruefully, dropping the subject. "Rei, why do you pilot?"

"Because of the bonds I have with those around me," she answered honestly. "And because I have nothing else."

{Operation Yashima commences in t-minus thirty minutes. Pilots Ayanami and Ikari, please take your posts inside your EVAs!} The notification interrupted my reply, and I looked at her as I bolted upright; she had this resigned expression on her face that was painful to glance upon, but it was the hint of regret that lingered upon her brow that simultaneously killed me, lifted me up to the heavens with hope, and condemned me to the lowest pits of Hell with guiltiness–not _guilt_; _guiltiness._

"Goodbye, Shinji," she said sadly.

No. I redact my previous statement.

_That _put me through the Rasputin treatment.

I climbed into my entry plug silently as it was loaded into Unit-01 and filled with LCL; I took hold of the control yokes obligatorily, holding on as I was launched up to sea level with Rei in Unit-00, her shield in hand. We walked a few steps to our planned positions, with me lowering to my chest and taking hold of the trigger of the JSSDF's prototype positron rifle as the timer ran down until Operation Yashima commenced in earnest. I was determined that this time would be different; by all the gods in the heavens and by all my demons in Hell, _this _time _I _was the one in control–not Gendo, not SEELE, not Keel fucking Lorenz _himself_–_me, _Ikari Shinji, manifestation of the demon Rain, was in command here. And _I _would be the one calling the shots today. Not them.

[Mission timer is at 00:00 hours. Operation Yashima is officially a go. Shinji, line up the shot and fire at will.]

"With pleasure," I responded. I took 0.005 seconds to align the so-called 'iron sights,' the scope, the curvature of the planet beneath our feet and my own targeting reticle perfectly before taking that fateful shot; I pulled the trigger, and hoped against hope that last time was just chance, and that this time would be different. But this time, I had the benefits of a trained eye to reap, and so I saw what happened almost as if it was in slow motion. A dread rage knit itself into a knot at the pit of my stomach as I realized where we had miscalculated. "That _bastard! _It's detected the positron beam! It's moving to intercept with its particle beam! That's a confirmed miss! _Damn _it!"

No sooner had I said it than the Angel's particle beam fired, the conflict causing it and the positron rifle's beam to warp and distort about each other, forming a double helix before each went flying off course. Rei jogged her EVA a few inches forth and raised her shield, just in time for its beam to impact its surface mere fractions of a second before it would have otherwise hit me. That ran down the durability of the piece of NASA-designed tin, thus limiting my operational capacity. I would _not _let this end up like last time–not under _any _circumstances.

[Shinji, your synch ratio's breaking one hundred percent and your vital signs are all over the place!] came Doctor Akagi's alarmed admonition over the comm system.

[You need to calm down, eject the spent fuse and load a new one! It'll take fourteen seconds to calibrate! Rei's shield can hold out for twelve under sustained assault!] came Misato's right after.

At that moment, Ramiel's next volley slammed into the shield, and it was disintegrating quickly under the heat. I needed to think fast. _The Lance! Remember the Lance!_ With that in mind, I scrambled to my feet, closed my eyes and rushed to clear away all excess concerns and find my center–that place in which there was only room for my target and myself. Rei's sounds of dismay weren't helping matters, but I managed. "I am…the Bird of Hermes…"

In my left hand, the Lance took shape, materializing into its normal, red form, with its shape being coiled in a tight double helix, not unlike a chromosome, but flaring into a double-pronged head. I took this in my grasp, set my feet apart, one hand out, and cocked the other–the one holding the Lance–back; I lengthened my posture, the head of the weapon aimed directly at my mental image of where the Angel was at the moment that I fired. My eyes snapped open, and I launched the weapon at my foe with a rage-filled battle cry of "_GUNGNIR!_"

The Lance seemed to lengthen, then to form a crescent shape, not unlike the curvature of a European longbow, a slash of scarlet across the air as it sought its target. Then, in a flash, time restarted, and the Lance cleaved through the Angel's response like the prow of a longship through a small wave before burying its pronged head into Ramiel's body, ignoring its A.T. Field entirely and ceasing its attack on Rei.

_Rei!_

I turned in time to see her entry plug forcefully ejected from her damaged Evangelion. My priorities reordering themselves, I barked into the comm, "NERV Central, this is Pilot Ikari! Fifth Angel neutralized!" before ejecting myself from my mech, venting the LCL and leaping down from the lip of the entry plug. I rolled to divert the force of the blow along my own A.T. Field, and then kept running for the one I held most dear. Before long, I had chased down her entry plug, and I grabbed hold of the bolt on its hatch, wrenching it open without quarter or mercy, not even noticing how I was crying out, "Rei!" even as my voice was going hoarse with the effort. Finally, the superheated door was open, and I launched my entire upper body into the cavity, calling, "Rei! Are you alright?!"

She sat in the pilot's seat, her head cocked, obviously dazed as she opened her eyes and met my gaze.

I was beginning to cry, but I didn't give a damn. "Don't scare me like that! And don't say goodbye before a mission–not ever! I forbid you! I forbid you because…I love you, Ayanami Rei! I love you and I want to be with you, forever and always! So don't you _dare _leave me alone, and don't say that you've got nothing else! You have _me _now, Rei! You have me, and I will never run away–I will never leave your side! So please, Rei! Please…" My voice finally gave out, and I embraced her, tears running unabated, shamelessly down my cheeks.

"I…I do not know how to respond to situations like this. I honestly do not…" she replied, even as I felt the warm pinpricks of her own tears against my back. I retreated a bit to view her face, smiling at her sadly.

"Why don't you try smiling? And _telling_ me how you feel?" I suggested timidly.

She favored me with a gentle smile of her own, and responded, "I feel the same way, Shinji… I know it is irrational, but I do not find myself caring…"

I caressed the line of her jaw softly, bringing her eyes to mine. "Then _don't _care. Throw away reason and logic and just…let's just enjoy this moment while we have it…Rei…"

We embraced anew, and as I carried her out of her entry plug, and we laid together on the grass, waiting for the recovery teams to do their jobs and come find us, we basked in this newfound love and each other's presences, exchanging silent vows to stand by one another until the end of days. And really, that was enough. In that moment, I _felt _at long last, and my first feeling was that of being loved. Really, it was perfection itself.

By the time they finally discovered us, we had not a care in the world but for each other.

_Mission objectives achieved._

* * *

><p>It's a strange sensation, being in love–that is, loving and knowing that you are loved in return: it is one that is perhaps equal parts wonderful and terrifying. For others, I have heard it said that the reason is that your life is no longer your own, that it belongs suddenly to another, but I think not; <em>my<em> life, after all, is no great thing to me, and ultimately, it belonged to Rei from the very beginning. No, I think that being in love is a terrifying feeling because it forces you to contemplate, even subconsciously, the prospect of losing that one who is the center of your world, and now that something exists, you are terrified by that prospect. Or perhaps that is just me; but really, who knows?

Perhaps a better question: Who the fuck cares?

It was the day after Operation Yashima, and Rei and I could barely be separated, caught up in these feelings that I presumed were brand-new for both of us. Every touch, every glance I at least treasured greatly, and I could only assume that the same was true for her. Of course, we couldn't hide such a drastic shift in our relationship status, and so I had to contend with a swarm of nosy questions from Tōji and Kensuke, but I didn't care. This new thing with Rei was more important to me than any stresses they might put me through, and so I would endure; truth be told, if I were to die at any moment that day, I would die happily, knowing that I was important to at least one person, with my only regret being the pain that my death would cause Rei. Such were the depths of my devotion.

Is it crazy? Sure.

But what is love, if not shared insanity?

Friedrich Nietzsche, a student of mine, once said that there is always some madness in love, but that there was also always some reason in madness. In that, as with so many other things, I think he was correct, and I applaud the elegance of his wording. More so than most any other student I have ever taught has he codified as close to the absolute truth of it as that: as close to the absolute truth of it as that, I say, because it is also a truth when he states that "words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth." Well, whatever absolute truth was, and no matter how close anything ever came to touching upon it, I would endure, for she who has a why to live can bear almost any how–once again, Nietzsche.

I knew that I had many more trials in my path before the end; after all, who can forget the Jet Alone activation test that was coming up, almost literally around the corner? But they were problems to be solved another day, and they really seemed quite simple compared to the problem of how to ensure that nothing bad happened to Rei. Already, my brain was hard at work piecing together a course of action that would result in her second form surviving the battle against the Sixteenth Angel, Armisael–though, truth be told, I had reason to believe that the activation of her third incarnation was all part of her elaborate plan. I knew from past experience, after all, that she was as great a tactician as I was a strategist–there was no one of her caliber in all of existence. But even so, I was beginning to learn to appreciate each moment, even though I knew that in this game, a single misstep would be the end of me, perhaps permanently this time, though I personally doubted it greatly. The other players were no great obstacles to one such as I, and with Rei at my side, I could do anything–or at least, I suppose that was the idea, the cause. Of course, there would be precarious steps and risky measures that needed to be taken, but I was more than prepared to sacrifice everything to make sure that I could build a world wherein Rei could at least find happiness, and this time, I would be certain not to make the amateur mistake of removing myself from that equation.

_{That's good. You're learning,} _commended ADAM.

_Adapt or die, remember? _I sent back. _All that has changed is that I have ascertained that the latter is not an option, really. So in the grand scheme of things, not much. Not much, really, at all…_

First, to deal with the Jet Alone. Then the object of the puzzle became how to use Asuka's impending arrival to my advantage. It would almost certainly be at her expense, of course, but who cares? Ultimately, she was an all-too-willing doll, moving about to accomplish my will, and she would be again. It would only be selfish of me to deny her that, really, and if there was one concept with which I still struggled to grasp, it was selfishness. But one thing was clear, and it soon would be to all the world:

I would damn the entire world and everyone in it, consign them all to the deepest pits of Hell, if it would make Rei smile even once more.

I swore to it.


	5. Sordid Interludes (Lessons from Saitama)

_Class 3-A_

If my defeat at Saitama had taught me anything, it was that even the greatest of strategists needed assets who knew how to follow orders; and in truth, I could think of no soldier more disciplined than my lieutenant, Daerys dii Viendra. To that end, when the day came that Horaki Hikari and I both were given the job of cleaning up after class, I took it as an opportunity to make sure that Daerys and I were on the same page. I had made plans to meet up with Rei after today's round of synch tests, and so I had very little in the way of time constraints. Taking advantage of that, I took up the class's broom and set about my assigned tasks as industriously as possible before moving up behind Hikari and saying, "Ask not the sparrow…"

"…how the eagle soars," she finished, stiffening in place before turning to me. "Your resplendence, it's good to see you awake."

"Likewise, Daerys. Forgive me, but I need your help," I continued, making my wish to eschew the pleasantries and formalities that were expected of a member of the Dark Council, especially one of her status, abundantly clear. "I do not ask this as your sovereign; rather, I ask this of you as your friend."

"Of course, Rain," she replied, her use of my name without titles of any sort acting as an expression of understanding. "What do you need?"

I took a breath, running a hand through my mess of brown hair–_which I really ought to do something about,_ I thought to myself–before making my request. "This is actually my second time through this gauntlet. I awakened after the events that are to ensue came to pass, and thus, using chronomancy, I travelled back through time to set things to rights," I explained. "To that end, I must warn you that Kier will soon arrive in Tokyo-3, under the name 'Asuka Langley Sōryu.' She will, without a doubt, attempt to drive a wedge between myself and Rei, who you may know better as General Kaylen. Now, I do not intend, obviously, to allow this to occur; but by the same token, I do not wish to prevent her attempts outright. Rather, I wish to use them to my advantage. This is where you come in."

"Continue," she prompted.

"Last time, you 'befriended' Kier; now, I wish for you to use this friendship to restrain her when I ask, but otherwise give her free reign. This does not give you leave to help her or to abet her in any way, mind you, but I do not wish you to actively work against her except at my explicit direction. Understood?" She nodded her comprehension and her assent. In return, I placed my right hand over the location of my heart and bowed low in the European fashion. "I thank you, my friend. I shall be in your debt."

"Nonsense," she objected, putting down whatever she was doing and straightening my posture so that I was standing erect. "You are my sovereign as you are my friend, after all; in the former case, it is my duty to serve you; in the latter, it is to aid you whenever and however I can. Let there be no discussion of debt here, save the one I owe you." She smirked shrewdly, and a coldly calculating, analytical glint entered her steely-grey eyes. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how frightening the first among my servants could be when she truly wished to. "Though, I can see that there is more at work here than just young love and your usual round of complicated machinations. Is this to satisfy one of your _geasa, _perchance?"

"To a very _minute _extent, yes; but I would have you remember, Daerys, that there are two types of _geasa_, and the one I am satisfying is the latter; it is more of a _raison d'être _than the obligation that most _geasa _turn out to be. I have already cannibalized myself to maintain my own sanity; that satisfies the first _geis _that I accrued as the Bird of Hermes," I replied honestly. "But the second, the one I acquired as myself, as Rain, I obey freely and of my own will; my existence or my life being forfeit is only tangentially a part of it. Less that my life is forfeit, and more so that my life really has no meaning without Rei (or Kaylen, or whatever you want to call her) there to give it that."

She smiled genuinely, and I got the very distinct feeling that I had just passed some sort of elaborate, but all the same, very important, test. It was this thing she did, these random tests; honestly, sometimes I felt as though she was doing more mothering than serving me. I counted her as my friend because she was the only demon in my service who would even think to question me, and was one of the only two who would find themselves capable of dropping the formalities; truly, being treated with deference could be quite exhausting. However, the side effect of this was her habit of constantly assessing me; it seemed as though I continually passed, but it put me off my sense of security a bit to be tested against my knowledge, even if I did pass. Although, perhaps _that _was the reason–to destabilize me; after all, she _was _the second most sadistic of my friends…

* * *

><p>"So, what have you heard about this new project that they say is trying to supplant the EVAs?" I asked Rei later that night, after the day's rounds of synch tests.<p>

"The Jet Alone?"

"That's right."

"Not all that much; the commander has been strangely silent on that note," she replied.

We were sitting on the new sofa in Rei's recently cleaned apartment, our homework done, dinner consumed and the plates cleaned. I had left Misato's dinner at the apartment we shared, along with a note that dictated very specific instructions concerning how to reheat the food I left in the fridge for whatever time she might return–if it was before me, of course. I was laid out, my head in Rei's lap as she absently combed her hand through my hair and we made idle conversation to pass the time spent together. I think we must have looked pretty vomit-inducing to many an onlooker at that moment, though unlike in the clichéd dime store novels, our behavior had a very casual, familiar air about it. Seeing that the topic in question was disconcerting her, I reached up and caressed the side of her face gently. "Hey, don't worry," I assured her. "There's no machine that can replace the EVAs. We won't be out of a job any time soon. You can trust me on that."

She scrutinized me, a twinkle of amusement in her crimson eyes–her way of smirking, I suppose. "You just want to see me smile again, do you not?" she accused jokingly–my ears were well enough attuned to her monotone to hear the difference in her voice.

I smiled up at her. "Isn't that _always _the case? You look even more beautiful when you smile," I replied truthfully. "I like seeing you happy, Rei. Is that so wrong?"

In response, she playfully slapped me on the forehead. "_You _are attempting to be a sweet talker. I would advise you against this course of action. I much prefer when you speak candidly, in truth," she scolded.

"You wound me to think that I do not mean every word that I say!" I mock-scowled. "But honestly, I find it amusing that they think the Evangelions can be replaced. I mean, you would think that they would understand that survival against a threat like the Angels, who are immune to conventional weapons, comes only at a cost. I suppose, though, that in any circumstance you'll find cheap, greedy people who will balk at the price of anything, no matter what it is or how rude it may well be to do so."

"I heard from Doctor Akagi that she and Captain Katsuragi will be attending the practical demonstration tomorrow," said Rei, her voice and expression terse with both severity and gravity. "Supposedly, the Jet Alone is devoid of the constraints upon reaction time and necessary manpower that the Evangelions are shackled with. These are supposed to make it an adequate replacement for our EVAs, as Angel-fighting weaponry goes."

"The need for manpower in order to make the Evangelions operable does not bother me, but I would be lying if I said that the issue of operation time did not weigh upon my mind," I remarked, staring off into the ceiling as I spoke. "The EVAs cannot handle more efficient methods of power generation, nor a more efficient battery, because of the stress the extreme heat of generators or high-capacity batteries put upon the organic tissue they are made from; nor are coolants an option, since extreme cold, too, will destroy their flesh. The only real solution to the problem is to install a Super Solenoid Organ, like the kinds that the Angels possess, but the only way to do that would be to consume an Angel's, and SEELE would then determine the EVA that did it unusable for service, given that it would not be 'reliable' in their estimation–though, I suppose that 'easily controlled' would be a more accurate way of phrasing it." I looked up at her when I was done, taking note of the dazed and surprised expression on her face before she recovered and refocused.

"You have certainly…researched this in-depth," she said at length.

"Chronomancy may always end in tears, but at the moment, it is a wonderful thing," I sighed. Rei nodded her understanding of what I was conveying. I reached up and resumed caressing the side of her face. "It allowed me to see _you _again, for instance, and_ that _is no small favor. Truly."

She stared off into space for a moment, and I could almost hear the gears clicking and whirring in her beautiful head. "Why do we not consume a Super Solenoid Organ each at the same time? They cannot afford to take us both off of the active roster, after all."

I smiled at her genuinely. "I was hoping you would suggest that; I know it's an awful lot to ask of you," I replied. "The Seventh Angel, Israfel, will possess an ability to split its core into two identical copies, sort of like mitosis. We will devour that one, and complete our EVAs. Does this sound acceptable to you? We shall not proceed unless it does." She nodded silently, then favored me with a smile to show her sincerity. "_Arigat__ō__ gozaimasu, _Rei."

"_D__ō__ itashimashite, _Shinji," she responded. "If we do this, we shall do it together, okay?"

I nodded, thankful to be on the same page. "_Hai. _Forever and always."

"Forever and always," she repeated.

We embraced, and it was good.

* * *

><p>Tokita Shiro was not an especially attractive man; in fact, his appearance was rather haughty, like that of a spoiled pig at an American county fair. In short, I thought he looked rather grotesque from the picture that Misato had supplied me with when I asked. The profile I was able to compile from the data that I could scrounge up from the MAGI's database matched the impression I got from the photo–it was one of an over-privileged fool who no doubt considered himself a self-made man. Prideful, arrogant, and most likely insufferable. I've always been thankful that I can get an almost complete picture of a man at a glance; it's saved my life more than once in the past, and fortunately, its accuracy has long since reached the point of it almost never being wrong.<p>

I was in the GeoFront with Rei, looking at my school notebook and waiting for the dispatch order to stop the 'out of control' Jet Alone. The profile on Tokita Shiro was only one of the several dozen I had compiled on various NERV and UN personnel, as well as those even tangentially related to the events that had occurred and the events that were to come. Today, for example, Ikari Gendo and Akagi Ritsuko were about to do something flagrantly reckless–that is, sabotage the Jet Alone–for a reason that initially might seem sound, but that upon further consideration would make the need for such measures nonexistent. The fact that the Jet Alone company had yet to recognize that they already had in the palm of their hands the resources that would allow their giant robot to possibly take on an Angel like those that we had already faced, Ramiel excluded, was proof enough that they likely never would–not to mention that the model I had seen seemed to not have a shadow of a chance of taking on any of the later opponents that would come seeking to merge with Lilith so as to find the entity that was currently sequestered in a section of my brain as far away from where I was working as I could possibly get her. I laughed to myself. _And they say _I'm _the rash, impulsive one…_

The sound of my NERV pager going off woke Rei from her sleeping–or dozing–position, leaning against my shoulder. She stirred, then pushed herself upright, rubbing sleep from her eyes in the most adorable fashion before fixing her intense crimson gaze upon me. I closed the notebook, stood up with her, and began jogging over to the men's locker room; I changed my clothes in record time, snapped my A-10 clips into place and ran out to climb into the entry plug of my EVA. It was loaded in enough time to be locked into the deployment bay of the YB-50 that would bring me to the mission site, and I lapsed into a meditative state as it took off, and I was brought to the area of operation.

I roused from it as we neared the drop zone, and the mission timer began running down. The primary and secondary lock bolts disengaged on time, and I launched the EVA into action as our descent began. Landing in a crouch, I sighted my foe and took stock of Misato's location. I moved as quickly as I was able to retrieve Misato, done up in her biohazard suit, and then, with her in hand, I moved to intercept my foe with the limited amount of time I had. I slid down part of the way there, sweeping out my automated, mechanized opponent's legs from under it; then, as it lay prone, its onboard cerebral computer attempting to calculate how best to regain its footing, I placed Misato upon its back, very close to the hatch she would need in order to get into the inner workings of the machine. Then, once I had made sure she was inside, I set about the task of making sure the robot did not move. It was more or less by the numbers, and it was valuable insofar as it would allow Misato to see more and more the sordid side of her friend and her commanding officer. In that, I considered this, which would otherwise be quite the fool's errand, to be, in a word, invaluable.

I stepped back and waited for my opponent to regain its footing, my weight offset upon my back foot and my arms crossed, the fingers of my left hand drilling against the forearm of my right at a very regular cadence. When it stood, it attempted to continue walking, seemingly unaware that it really should be attempting to actively fight my presence. I scoffed into the LCL of the entry plug; _this _was the machine that was supposed to be the almighty replacement to the Evangelions? I really couldn't take such a stupid thing seriously; it wouldn't have lasted an instant against Ireul–it wouldn't have had a _prayer. _Keeping this thing in place was going to be child's play, to say the least. I mean, _really._

When it tried to walk into me, I placed my right hand against its 'head,' letting it try to move me; unfortunately, its weight was more than substantial enough to push me along in front of it, but I had accounted for that. I punched it quite decisively in the midsection with my left, then brought both hands close to me, turned away from the Jet Alone, went low, swept out its feet again, then punctuated with a definitive two-pronged, double-fisted punch directly to its 'head' and its 'sternum.' It went flying backwards, somewhat like Israfel, and like Israfel, it immediately regained its footing. Once it had confirmed that, it once more attempted to soldier forth against my will. "How pathetic. You, a machine, thinking to oppose _my will?! _Don't make me laugh, you _insolent worm!_" I taunted my opponent, knowing full well it couldn't hear me. To be fair, I had just gotten the urge to be hammy, and I have been reminded on multiple occasions that it is unhealthy for one to repress their urges. I concentrated on my A.T. Field, forming it into a drill-like shape, and then charging my foe head-on, pushing off of the ground so as to conserve as much power as possible, thus essentially acting as a high-velocity projectile. The machine brought up its arms to block my attack, making me smirk maliciously to myself in the entry plug; we collided, and its long, Angel-like arms were rendered inoperable in short order. I reached up, popped the cover on my shoulder pylon, and brought forth my prog knife in a diagonal downwards slash, a variation upon the _batt__ō__jutsu_ I like to use when I have an _ō__dachi_ in hand. At the end of the strike, I pulled my hand back and rammed it into the Jet Alone as if I were stabbing someone in a dagger fight. Then I put my feet on either side of the 'wound' and launched myself off of my foe with a strong kick, pulling my prog knife free and stretching my arms out wide as I flipped in mid-air and returned to the ground in a crouching position before reversing my grip on it as I brought it before my face.

I glimpsed Misato through the gap as she shielded herself from the sudden onrush of air before continuing onwards to go about her self-assigned task. By this point, she must have already have found out about the defective kill code and was proceeding to manually reinsert the control rods–again, and they call _me _rash and impulsive. Of course, this was where the control rods reinserted themselves; they did so right on time, and the Jet Alone powered down. I returned my prog knife to its sheath at my shoulder and stood erect once more. "Mission accomplished," I said. "Time to return to base, thankfully."

* * *

><p>"So, did everything go according to plan?" asked Rei as I walked out of the men's locker room, dressed in my regular clothes–but really, why <em>did <em>I wear my school uniform everywhere?! I seriously _just now _noticed this!–after returning to NERV Central.

"Not _everything, _but close enough to everything to be workable," I replied. "The task at hand has been cleared. Now, all that is left is to wait for the Sixth Angel, Gaghiel, to attack, and _that_ won't be until Misato, Tōji, Aida and I go to retrieve the Second Child from the United Nations convoy escorting her and Unit-02. Remind me to pack my plugsuit."

"What, did you have to wear one of hers last time?" asked Rei, and from the twinkle of amusement in her eyes, she was clearly teasing me.

I reddened. "Yes," I replied, suddenly sheepish, looking away from her and down to the floor of the room we were in. "Look, can we just not talk about it?"

She nodded, but I knew better than to trust the mischief in her gaze.

I would regret telling her that.

I just knew it.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: <em>Well, a rather short chapter, but not a lot happened. Not a lot that was of substance, at any rate. My internet has been down, so Chapters 3, 4 and 5 are all going up on the same day. Maybe Chapter 6, too, but I hope not. I don't think that would say many complimentary things about how much free time I have on my hands. Then again, I cannot rightly say that I care; boredom is the illegitimate father of invention, after all, for invention is, in fact, a right bastard when it wants to be.

Incidentally, my writing theme seems to be the song "Nightmare" from the Code Geass OST. Not entirely sure how to feel about that, but what are you going to do, really?


	6. The Red Comet Attacks!

_The Pacific Ocean_

"Wow! Cool! It's an _actual _aircraft carrier!" cried Kensuke as our VTOL circled about the _Over the Rainbow _and we began our descent. His face was glued against the window, and I could almost swear he was drooling over there in that corner of his.

"Well, what were you expecting? This isn't Monty Python. Of course it'd be a real aircraft carrier," I replied. _Though, they're nothing special compared to the five _Magellan_-class battleships I annihilated at the Battle of Loum–not to mention the two cruisers. _I kept such thoughts to myself, though, and rather tugged at the collar of the black pilot's dress uniform that was apparently standard-issue for all NERV Children, which Misato had given me when I asked after it. I had never seen it before, of course, but it was in line with the aesthetic of the other departments' uniforms, and beyond that, I would not put it past my guardian to have just forgotten to give us these. I liked it; it rather reminded me of my time in the Zeon Space Attack Force, before I had taken on my fourth pseudonym (but seriously, what possessed me to pick the name 'Quattro Bajeena,' anyways? I still cannot for the life of me figure _that _one out) and the uniform I had worn for basically everything, except, of course, for hanging out with Garma prior to his demise, which I had engineered. It was sad that he was born a Zabi; I found his persistent attempts to trump me rather adorable, truth be told. He really _was _a good friend. Him and Dozle. _Though, in my defense, in the latter case, I _did _fulfill his dying wish, so that has to count for _something_, at least._

"What's 'Monty Python'?" asked Kensuke, pulling his face away from the Plexiglas to ask me that question (and yes, there _was _drool on it. Disgusting.).

"Another time," I said dismissively, physically waving off his question and turning my head to look out the window myself. _Actually, speaking of which, it seems as though my hair's getting to the length it was at when I was raising Minerva. I think I like it. Might as well see what Rei thinks when we get home, though; if _she_ doesn't like it, after all, it'll have to go. _My train of thought stopped for a second, and I patted my breast pocket, pulling out the glasses case and looking at the polarized sunglasses contained therein. _Wait, did I just unconsciously pick out an outfit that hearkens back to that time in my life? I think I must have. _I chuckled internally.

"What's in that suitcase, Shin-man?" asked Tōji, pointing to the briefcase propped up against the metal beneath my seat; he managed to tear his eyes away from 'discreetly' leering at Misato long enough to ask the question, and I had to admit that I was impressed by the self-control he exhibited with that action. Normally, his philandering and womanizing was far more flagrant than now.

"A precaution," I responded, turning my head to him and smirking mischievously. "In case an Angel should attack while we're still at sea. After all, you can never be too careful these days."

He nodded sagely, then turned to Misato, pointing at me, and asking, "Does he usually end up taking his work home with him?"

"I wouldn't know. He spends more time at Rei's apartment nowadays," she replied. "But when I _do _see him, he usually is."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?!" I snapped good-naturedly.

"You're actin' like a workaholic," he explained.

"And if I am?" I challenged.

He gaped like a fish, his mouth opening and closing as it went through the challenging task of attempting to form words. Finally, he gave up altogether and fell silent, glaring at the floor in defeat. I smirked before turning back to the window, my hand, clad in black leather, concealing my expression. (And concerning my outfit, as I had told Rei, 'A key facilitator of manipulation is to make the right first impression.' I had left her to piece together what I meant by that.)

We were cleared for landing, and so as soon as we touched down on the ship's helipad, I slipped on my sunglasses, took my briefcase in hand and prepared to make a grand entrance–well, as grand as I could manage under the circumstances, of course. Misato and the others scrambled to exit alongside me, but I was still the first one off the VTOL, and so I could see most clearly as Sōryu ran to greet us. I watched dispassionately as a gust of wind blew off Tōji's hat and as he chased it as it flew towards the Second Child, who stomped on it and kept it in place. The same gust of wind blew her sundress up as she had no doubt intended–after all, why else would one wear a sundress on a day like this?–and as Tōji and Kensuke stared transfixed, the Second walked up and struck them both across the face.

"OW! What was _that _for?!" cried Tōji.

"It's the viewing fee!" she proclaimed. "A good deal, if I may say so!"

I walked up to defuse the situation, since I most certainly did _not _wish to view Suzuhara Tōji's hindquarters for a second time. I placed a hand on his shoulder, saying "Calm down, Tōji; you embarrass yourself, you'll embarrass _all _of us." She reached up to slap me as well, but I caught her hand in midair. "You think _I _need to pay the 'viewing fee'? Don't be a fool. I didn't look. After all, I wouldn't want to feel like a _pedophile_, now would I?!"

Believe it or not, I had a plan.

She grew visibly agitated at my implication. "_Arschloch! _Just who do you think you are, anyways?!"

"This is Ikari Shinji, pilot of EVA-01 and the Third Child, with three confirmed Angel kills on his record," interjected Misato. "It's good to see you, Asuka. I see you haven't changed."

"_Misato! _It's been too long!" she exclaimed. "So, this is the Third Child, hmm? He seems awfully _dull…_"

"I'd rather be dull than a spoiled bitch!" I informed her cheerfully–so cheerfully, in fact, that it took her a moment to see through my tone and recognize the content of my exclamation.

"Scratch that. He seems like an _ass!_" she snarled.

"Sticks and stones," I chided her. "Didn't your _mother_ ever teach you that rhyme?"

I had a plan. I _swear._

"Don't _talk _about my _mother, _you_ miststück!_" she shrieked.

"Well, look at the mouth on _you. _Not very ladylike, really," I teased. "Although, I suppose that with your language, there is at least _one _thing about you that is adult."

"_You…YOU…!_"

"Okay, okay, play nice, you two," came a very familiar voice from behind Sōryu. The redhead froze in place, her skin flushing in shame at the thought of Kaji Ryōji catching her in such a state of possibly murderous rage. His voice, unsurprisingly enough, though, seemed to have the opposite effect upon Misato, as she began to purple with anger as soon as she recognized him. _My sister's tsundere fetish has some really unfortunate side-effects, _I thought to myself as I compared her current actions and physical appearance to what I could sense her soul saying, based upon the fluctuations of her A.T. Field. "We have enough of a pilot shortage as it is, here. It's not as if we can afford to lose one of you, after all."

"I don't know about that; Rei and I seem to have the Angel-killing front covered. Although, I suppose even the greatest actors have understudies," I countered. Sōryu, unwilling to go embarrassing herself even further in front of her precious crush, held her tongue, though I could sense her staring daggers into my back. I found it privately hilarious that she seemed to think that I cared. I turned my attention to her, looked her up and down behind my sunglasses, pretending to scrutinize her, and then nodded my head. "Yes, I think you'll do nicely for that. Understudy it is, then." _Jeez, if I had known that it was this fun to antagonize her, I would have done this _ages _ago, _I thought. I also realized that I was playing the cocky card a bit much, but I knew that if I didn't, she would, and unlike her, I had the skills and the combat record to back it up if I needed to do so.

"Well, you're certainly confident, Mr. Ikari Shinji," remarked Kaji. "Although, I suppose if _I _had the kind of combat record that you do, I might be as well."

"I make a habit of keeping an accurate estimate of my abilities on hand, Mr. Kaji Ryōji," I replied, straightening my sunglasses. "Now, I believe we have business to attend to? Misato?" She stowed her violent anger, thankfully being enough of a professional to focus upon clearing the task at hand, and nodded.

"That we do. Thank you for reminding me, Shinji-kun," she replied.

I nodded back, little more than a slow bob of the head. "Anytime."

* * *

><p>The argument over who was higher on the chain of command was as tedious as ever; ultimately, it fell to me reciting the U.N. provision that allowed NERV to exist to settle it. Thankfully, once I did, that was the end of it, and it was time to go below for lunch; a few words from me eliminated the ridiculous occurrence that was all of us attempting to fit into the same elevator. We worked it out so that Tōji, Kensuke and Sōryu would go first, followed by Misato, Kaji and myself. The arrangement drew no argument from the Second Child, surprisingly enough; I suppose she was just as uncomfortable with the tension, arguably sexual in nature, and certainly belligerent, that existed between Kaji and Misato, although more so with the latter than the former–at least, according to human senses. From <em>my<em> perspective, it was rather educational, a lesson on how two Absolute Terror frequencies (or soul wavelengths, if you prefer) can resonate a little _too _well, and in so doing ignite tremendous conflict.

The food on the _Over the Rainbow _was as much rubbish and swill as I remembered, but it was at least passably nutritious; I was eating it quite industriously when Kaji inserted the little jibe, the existence of which I had almost forgotten. "So, 'Shinji-kun,' does Misato still toss and turn in bed?" he asked.

I stopped eating and exhaled slowly before answering. "Well, yes, if the knotted state of her sheets when I come into her room to get them to do the laundry is any indication. But Misato, I will have you know, is not a shotacon, and though I only just fit into that category, the fact remains that I am fourteen." With that, I resumed eating.

"Thanks, Shinji-kun. And besides," remarked Misato, only half-put out, "I would never so much as _think _of stealing away Ayanami-chan's _precious _little boyfriend."

Choking on one's food has a way of making one regret their decision to resume eating. Such was the case with me at that moment. Tōji reached over and patted me on the back until I had ceased choking enough to reassume my composure. "Thank you, Tōji," I said as I shakily regained my dignity, straightening my uniform. "Now, Misato, _please…_"

"I'm serious," she continued, very much enjoying my discomfort. "He spends more time at Rei's than at home nowadays. It's almost scary. And then when you _do _see them together, it's like something out of a dime-store novel."

"_Misato…_"

"I mean, they're _that _serious, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure they haven't even had _sex _yet…"

The sound of my palms slamming on the table cut off whatever else was about to come out of Misato's mouth. I stood up rather stiffly, took my empty tray over to waste disposal, then straightened my sunglasses and left the cafeteria. I needed air. But I also had a job to do, and the perfect tool with which to accomplish said job.

Demonic compulsion was really a wonderful tool.

* * *

><p>The Pacific Ocean was really nothing special; the lack of sea life could very well have been said to have calmed the seas down significantly, in a very morbid sense. Nonetheless, I stared at it from behind the polarized lenses I wore, taking in the sounds the water made as the U.N. Pacific Fleet's convoy cut through it. It was in this posture that Sōryu found me, not all that long after I surmised lunch to have ended, and like with last time, she was on a mission. Seriously, I could have sensed her determination to impress me in her soul wavelength from a mile away, it was reading that loud. Honestly, the closer she drew, the less attention I tried to pay to her, so as to save myself the trouble a migraine would cause this far away from Rei.<p>

"Hey, Third, I've got something to show you," she said without preamble, arms akimbo.

_Did you get that line out of a doujinshi or something?_ "Sure. It's not as if there's really anything else to do on this overpriced, overdesigned hunk of metal. Not sure how _you_ haven't died of boredom already…" I replied.

"Of course," she responded, her hauteur building up. "I _am _Asuka Langley Sōryu, after all."

"An inferior mind it is, then," I pronounced, making it seem as though I was only unsure because I was deliberating over reasons why she hadn't done so. "I thought as much."

"What's _that, THIRD?!_"

"Nothing special. Just reminding myself that a mind with less capacity for cognitive functions needs less stimuli in order to stave off boredom," I answered, slowly slipping on my most piercing gaze and turning it to her. "Or were you looking for me to back down? Sorry to disappoint. Call me crazy, but I'm not afraid of a spoiled child's temper tantrum."

She was speechless for a moment, before throwing her arms up in the air and saying, "Forget it. Just…just forget it…"

_Dejection…I like it. But _this _early in the game? She must have a hair trigger or something. Ha. As if I didn't know that. Still, it's convenient for me, and that can't be a bad thing, _I thought as she turned around and began to head back under. Just then, the fleet's Angel alarm sounded, drawing her attention. "An Angel attack?! Here?!_ Excellent…_" I said, tearing off my sunglasses and grinning like a madman–though, Sōryu was of the opinion that I was smiling like a shark, a thought punctuated by a shiver that travelled down her spine. "Second! Take me down to your Evangelion. It's not ideal, but then again, 'no plan ever truly survives first contact with the enemy.'"

"Napoleon, right?" Still eager to please, I saw.

"Very good, but we've got bigger things to worry about–quite literally, in fact," I replied. "Leviathan awaits…" Well, _Gaghiel, _but regardless.

"Right," she acknowledged. "This way." Sōryu turned and led me down into the bowels of the ship, toward the cargo bay, where, covered by a canvas-colored tarp, EVA Unit-02 sat in Bakelite. She climbed up to the top of it, evidently re-gathering the remains of her arrogance, and tore off the tarp. But before she could speak, I spoke for her.

"Synthetic Life-Form Evangelion, Production Type Unit-02, I presume?" I called out to her, leaving her to gape like a fish. "I like the color, but the design flaws on this thing abound. Four eyes, for example, screw with the brain by bombarding it with too many sensory inputs in a way that neither Unit-00 nor Unit-01 do. It's done nothing about the operation time constraints that make an issue of themselves in the other Units, and instead has redoubled on the personality transplant OS so as to bury the beast within, which is the EVA itself, possessing a heightened degree of neuroplasticity and thus the ability to mold itself into an operating system compatible with the pilot. Although, I suppose there's little and less to be done about it now. Let's change and then show this Angel _exactly _what it's chosen to mess with." This last part I conveyed with a bloodthirsty grin on my face, an expression I had found myself wearing very often in past lives, and I could see another shiver work its way down the Second Child's spine even from so far away. She nodded mutely, then worked her way to my level, going to grab her plugsuit, even as I opened my briefcase, revealing its contents–mine, of course, replete with my A-10 clips as well. I donned them, sealed my plugsuit, packed away my clothes, left my briefcase, then turned and waited for Sōryu to return.

Gaghiel, Angel of the Fish, was as good as dead.

* * *

><p>"Now then, Sōryu, the emergency umbilical cable's over there," I said, pointing to the ship that had it on its surface, almost clear on the other side of the convoy. "I'm going to need you to hang on."<p>

"What? Hang on? I don't…" I cut off whatever other problems she might bring up with a jump; the sudden g-force had her gritting her teeth as I caused EVA-02 to flip in mid-air, gaining a bit more in the way of lateral momentum before it plummeted, landing in a crouch on the aircraft carrier in question.

"Pacific Fleet, this is Lieutenant Commander Ikari Shinji," I called, utilizing the rank that my status as an EVA pilot got me in the U.N. joint command military forces. "There is an Angel en route; this entire force is now under NERV jurisdiction. I need an emergency power coupling over here _now._"

It's amazing what one can accomplish with a little charisma; in seconds, the technicians were fitting the umbilical cable into place, no questions asked–none whatsoever. That done, I popped EVA-02's shoulder pylons and pulled forth its progressive knives, reversing my grip on them almost immediately. I was almost surprised that they had made this addition; it seemed that my piloting data had made them consider the sheer _possibilities _these mechs could really, viably actualize, and for that, I was thankful. _Everything's checking out, _I thought, closing my eyes and waiting, the relatively timid beast within the EVA sequestered in the back of my head and feeding me as much accurate sensory data as it could. _Now, it's really just a waiting game. Come on, Gaghiel…where are you…_

The slight but increasing vibrations in the water told me _exactly _where my prey was. It leapt from the sea at the _exact _moment I predicted, and my eyes snapped open. "_Now I have you!_" I leapt to the side, dodging its attack; it slammed onto the surface of the aircraft carrier, sending dozens of fighter planes into the ocean. I slammed the prog knife in my right hand into the landing strip, using it to swing the EVA pendulously and plant a double-footed axe kick directly to what I could only assume functioned as Gaghiel's head, dazing it and dislodging it from the ship. It crashed down into the sea once more, the other side tipping and spilling yet more military hardware over the side. I pulled the prog knife from the ship, planting my legs against its surface and kicking off, backflipping through the air, arms outstretched, onto another battleship. As soon as I landed, the Angel struck again, and I caught it with EVA-02's A.T. Field. Remembering that Gaghiel, strangely enough, possessed no defensive A.T. Field of its own, I then lashed out with both blades, slashing once inwards, then once outwards, with both knives. Then I planted the one in my left hand into its underbelly, reaching up to slam the one in my right into its head from the top. Angelic ichor went gushing everywhere from its wounds, spraying onto the battleship and most likely clogging the guns; I tightened my grip on the hilts of the prog knives, then used them as handles to bring the Angel up and over me, slamming it down into the battleship's side. I swore; I had miscalculated how much room I would need. Unfortunately, it seemed that for what I had planned, I required a larger flat surface–like, for example, the one atop the _Over the Rainbow._ I marked it down mentally.

I took the opportunity to rend the Angel's flesh, cleaving a cleft in its face and its underside, thus exposing its core then stabbing it from above in its back. I took it up with one knife and tossed it across the fleet to the _Over the Rainbow. _It hit right on target, and I jumped to follow it. "Welcome, Gaghiel, to my operating table. I promise you will not enjoy your stay," I taunted maliciously. I landed, planting my feet to either side of the Angel, then driving both blades home at once. Gaghiel struggled, making the most _adorable _little squeal of agony as he did so, then at once went limp. I pulled the prog knives free, wiped them off, and then returned them to their sheaths in Unit-02's shoulder pylons. "Misato? This is Shinji. Pilot Sōryu's here with me. The target has been neutralized."

* * *

><p>"Well, I'd say that went well. Or do you disagree, Pilot Sōryu?" I asserted once we were out of the EVA, out of our plugsuits and into our regular clothing (after a shower, of course; LCL would get stuck in my hair otherwise). "The Angel dead, no damage done to the EVA, and all in the space of about fifteen minutes. I don't know about you, but I'd classify that as a success."<p>

"How…how did you _do _all that?" she asked, her voice simultaneously intimidated and awed. "None of my training allowed me to pull something like that off!"

"You mean, why am I the best?" I returned. She wanted to contest the point, but after trying and failing to form words multiple times, she fell silent and merely nodded. I smiled privately, knowing that the first part of my manipulation had gone off without a hitch. "You know, Nietzsche once said that 'those with a _why_ to live can endure almost any _how._' How am I the best? I think of Rei. The rest is easy."

She stopped in surprise, but I continued onward without her, heedless of her hesitation. I knew she wouldn't quite be able to comprehend what I was saying until after her worldview had been shaken up a bit, but it really wasn't my problem. If my dealings with Kier in the past had taught me anything, it is that she would get what I was telling her when she was ready, and not a moment before. And quite frankly, I hadn't the patience to try and change that.

My job, however, was done. The little bit of spellwork I had done on Kaji earlier had paid off; I had come back to find an embryonic ADAM amongst my clothes, in the refrigerated secret compartment. What Kaji now had was a replica I had had Daerys–or rather, Hikari–make for me, and in every respect it was identical to the ADAM that was now in my briefcase. I smirked to myself; dinner was going to be an interesting affair. Before long, Rei and I would be able to set about working on our soul resonance as we had planned. I must say, planning and scheming is _so _much easier when your opponents don't know you're even a player, but it was still a delicate balance. I wasn't, for example, able to take the direct approach; but then again, why _would _I? I have been (mistakenly) called arrogant in the past, but never a megalomaniac; I had no pride that could get in the way of my machinations. Shadow dealing and power brokering was enough for me, really; I was a utilitarian at heart, and so something as effective as that was sure to be in my good books, as far as methods go. Of course, after tonight, I would have an asset I have long since desired, and so the results abetted my preconceived notions.

And of course, Ikari Gendo would be in for a rather…_big _surprise when the time came for Third Impact to be initiated–it's funny; one would think I would wish to _prevent _Third Impact, but it was quite the opposite. Like every other player in this little game, making Third Impact happen was the goal; however, unlike the others, for me it was a means to an end. Third Impact was inevitable, but _this _time, it would happen on _our _terms (mine and Rei's), and no one else's. That was the plan, at least–the grand strategy.

Right then, Misato came bursting in. "Kaji, that _jerk!_ He stole one of the fighter planes and _left! _And I thought he had a _plan_, damn him!"

I held up a hand to silence her, taking a deep breath before speaking. "It's irrelevant. You can't change the past. What matters now is that we have eliminated the Sixth Angel. Now, could we _please _return to shore? Rei and I have dinner plans for tonight. I'm sure you and he can work out your issues like mature adults when you meet again in NERV Central."

She was about to burst into another diatribe, until all the air went out of her; like a puppet whose strings had been cut, she slumped, exhausted. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. C'mon. Let's go collect Suzuhara and Aida, and then let's go home. I'm tired of this place."

"Understood," I replied.

* * *

><p>"<em>Tadaima!<em>" I called when I opened the door to Rei's apartment. I did not cross the threshold, however; I would not until she responded.

"_Okaeri,_" she replied. The tension flew out of me upon hearing confirmation that she was there, waiting for me to return. She came to the door and embraced me. "Did you secure dinner?"

"I did," I answered, holding up my briefcase. She nodded and let go of me, allowing me to remove my gloves and my sunglasses, proceed into the kitchen, and then open up my briefcase, the contents of which had gone into the wash at NERV Central. I popped open the secret compartment, gazing upon the embryonic ADAM, then going into the fridge and procuring the various reagents and ingredients needed for this to go down smoothly. After all, I was going to most likely be laid up for a week as my body adjusted to the Super Solenoid Organ that would grow in place of my heart, and I would hate for the last meal I ate properly to taste like LCL. I wasn't a vampire anymore, after all.

Swiftly, I breezed through the motions of preparation, pulling together knowledge alchemical, apothecial and culinary to produce something edible; the fact that I couldn't chop or otherwise divide ADAM was an obstacle, but obviously not an immense one–not to a chef of _my _caliber, at any rate. I used what seemed like every pot and pan in the house to create a meal that was otherwise vegetarian (there was no value in confusing my system, after all) but for the inclusion of ADAM, so that Rei could eat it, and so that I could fulfill the purpose that going to the _Over the Rainbow _in the first place served.

Finally, after about half an hour, I had prepared something without a name, but that I was sure would be to Rei's liking; after all, the weeks since Ramiel had taught me quite a bit about my girlfriend's palette. I set the plate down in front of her, and then prepared a setting for myself; together, we began to eat, and I was pleased with how the meal came out. For me, however, this was the moment of truth; after going to the trouble of making sure to prepare it in such a way that its vital signs would not go silent, I devoured the embryonic Angel whole. I was able to wait until the end of the meal, to hold off the energies that surged through me as the process of digestion began, and ADAM's physiology began to bind to my own, drawing my older sister's consciousness into it like some sort of selective quantum singularity, but no longer. As soon as the meal was over, I clutched my stomach reflexively and fell to the floor; Rei rushed over and helped me up, guiding me to a futon we had prepared in advance that lay on the floor next to her own _nanban-_style bed.

"I can feel it," I told her, my tone delirious. "The embryo's quickening inside of me, and it's binding to my body chemistry, changing it…transforming it…" The whole scenario was beginning to remind me of when we fought Sandalphon, with all we had attained after the fact concerning the life cycle of an Angel; only, instead of attempting to structure a manifestation, I was attempting to change the structure of an _existing _manifestation–that is, my own. I could feel my heart stilling in my chest even as it began to condense, forming into something new. That was all I was aware of before everything went dark, and at last, I saw and felt no more.

When I awoke, Rei was sitting there next to me in _seiza, _her expression impassive and patient. Her eyes widened as my eyes opened, and I sat bolt upright. I could see locks of silver hair falling in front of my gaze, and I ran a hand through it, finding it soaked with moisture that I could only assume was sweat, although it had not the smell about it–most probably, I had been leeched of the saline in my body to create my Super Solenoid Organ. I could feel it even now, ADAM in the center of my chest, protected by my flesh and my sternum, humming as energy flowed through my mana channels, which had replaced my circulatory system. My Absolute Terror Field was still folded, and so I knew that the MAGI could not detect me; still, I took the time to think about the evidence of my Angelic–rather, _demonic_–nature being hidden, and in a short period of time, my hair returned to its normal hue. However, as soon as I ascertained that I could do that, I allowed it to return to silver, and with it, the rest of me to its former state.

"How do you feel?" asked Rei, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Well," I replied, a smirk creeping onto my face. "We can proceed onto the next stage of the plan, it seems. Together."

"Yes. Together."


	7. Dancing With the Devil

_Class 3-A_

It was with a profound, long-suffering sense of boredom and contempt that I watched Asuka Langley Sōryu scrawl her name upon the blackboard in technically perfect Latin script, then finish introducing herself to the rest of the class. She faltered when her gaze fell to me, but the focus of my attention was on my girlfriend, not on the disruption to the class day, and so she continued, trying to save face and presumably make up for lost time. This was my first day back in class after the week I had spent unconscious as my body grew accustomed to the Super Solenoid Organ that I now possessed in place of a heart. I was currently hiding my normative form from the class–changing hair color and eye color, not to mention keeping my A.T. Field hidden–which, after examination, I had concluded consisted of a number of things: first, my hair was actually now silver; second, my eyes were the red that they usually only became when I used the Lance or became otherwise magically charged inside the entry plug of my EVA; and third, I could use the Lance of Longinus while in humanoid form, and not just within the confines of the Evangelion–my body could now take the strain of summoning and using the weapon. Beyond that, we had suspicions with regards to my capabilities (my defensive Absolute Terror Field, for example), but the nature of those suspicions was that they were so dangerous that we dared not even attempt to ascertain whether or not they were true.

Unfortunately, that week out had made my first day back correlate with the day of Kier's arrival and her own first day at the school. So here I was, being treated to Sōryu's hauteur, with my only consolation being that since I had so thoroughly demonstrated my superiority in the arena of piloting to her on the _Over the Rainbow _(the very _memory _of which gave me headaches, let me tell you; the Second Child's thought noise, while manageable, was the very _worst _kind of thought noise), I would be spared her oh-so-very _tsundere _(and _yandere_, but we don't like to talk about that) attentions. Still, it was cold comfort when she was rubbing her arrogance in the class's face, and I had to bear witness to it for the second time–really, it was bad enough the _first _time around, and it was only because of my older sister's aforementioned _tsundere _fixation that I was able to get through it _at all. _Thankfully, this time I had Rei with me, and she very subtly unfolded her A.T. Field at too low a frequency for the MAGI to detect, soothing me and granting me the forbearance to make it through her little presentation without comment by way of soul resonance–which we had mastered to that limited extent that such an ability was open to us.

Very soon, however, it was finished, mercifully enough, and Sōryu went to take her seat, at last allowing for class to begin. I opened my notebook, set up a chat box between myself and Rei, and began taking notes on the day's lesson. Pretty soon, I had the transcript of everything the teacher was going to say today down verbatim–courtesy of the fact that my soulmass was currently accessible through my Super Solenoid Organ–and once I had sent this record to Rei, then began to berate myself for writing it down in the first place, I pretended to continue to use it, whilst simultaneously unfolding my own A.T. Field at the same low intensity, then tuning it to the frequency that allowed for perfect soul resonance, such that we could now communicate telepathically along our A.T. Fields. After a while, I didn't even need the chat box anymore, and we instead began to converse purely from mind to mind.

_So, that, as I guess you've gathered, is Kier's manifestation for the evening,_ I sent.

_She certainly _is _loud, now isn't she? _Rei sent back, the tone of her thoughts far different from her speaking voice–more in line with one of her past manifestations, now that I think about it. _And with no sense of propriety, it seems._

_ She suffers from less a lack of propriety and more a lack of a sense of cultural relativism, _I mused to her. _Last time, she never really got the meaning of the phrase 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do, even unto the very end. And I _do _mean 'the very end;' I can only assume that the time frame I transferred back from was one in which she was deceased–I see no other option._

_ I didn't doubt your accuracy,_ Rei assured me. _You seem to have developed a fixation on it._

_ Part of keeping a combat-ready persona at all times; the two most important things in a fight are, in my experience, speed and accuracy, after all. It doesn't matter how big your gun is if the other guy shoots first, _I explained mentally. _Likewise, the same goes for strategy; a stratagem's success or failure can oftentimes depend upon who can adapt faster and better. The one who fails, dies. Accuracy is a key part of both. So I think I can be forgiven for being devoted to being as accurate as possible._

_ Hmph. We'll see whether I forgive you or not, now won't we? _she teased.

_I…I…yes, I suppose we shall, _I sent back. I always backed down from teasing matches with Rei; she was as merciless with her jibes as I was in combat, and I theorized that if I didn't rise to them, she wouldn't continue–though, secretly, I very much wished her to, and didn't rise to them because of a wish to avoid argument. To me, they were a sign that she cared–and such signs were very precious to me.

When class finally let out for lunch, Rei and I went up to the roof, as per usual, and we enjoyed each other's company, as well as the _bento _boxes I had prepared for us both before we left Misato's apartment. But unlike what we did normally, now we just waited for what we both knew was about to happen–Kier. "Before you say anything, Second Child, I will bear anything you say about me with a sense of only mild boredom. Speak badly of Rei, however, and you and I are going to have a problem. And trust me, you_ don't _want to have a problem with _me._"

"Well, you're certainly perceptive, Third," she replied from the roof entrance. "And why do you think I'd say something bad about your girlfriend? Does she have any notable flaws you don't want me pointing out?"

"On the first count, spoiled children like yourself are not often versed in the finer points of subtlety. I don't need to be perceptive to sense you trying to sneak up on us," I countered without missing a beat. "On the second, not only are you a spoiled child, but you're also a harridan. Rei is flawless, utterly perfect in my eyes, but I wouldn't put it past you to invent flaws to satisfy your own insecurities."

"I am _not _insecure!" she insisted.

"Oh, _really?_" I asked, unconvinced. "Well then, care to tell me _why_ you tried to seduce Kaji?"

"_How do you know about that?!_" she cried, horrified.

"Oh, wait, you actually _did?!_" I exclaimed, feigning surprise."You really _are _hopeless, aren't you, Asuka…Langley…Sōryu?"

"Y…you tricked me?" she accused, her energy finally gone.

"No. I read your mind," I replied sarcastically. "Now, if you will excuse us…"

The Second left, and slammed the door behind her.

_And she didn't even say you should be friends this time. How sad,_ I remarked.

Rei scoffed mentally. _As if I would ever be friends with _her_, _she sent back.

I laughed.

* * *

><p>"The recent battle has severely damaged Tokyo-3's intercept system," said Misato, giving out the mission briefing as we closed to the drop point in our YB-50s. "Only twenty-six percent of our defense capability has been restored. In addition, our operational capability for actual combat is virtually nil. Therefore, we're going to have to intercept the target at the water's edge right before it reaches land. Units One and Two will make a coordinated attack in a series of waves. In other words, close in and take turns."<p>

"Roger," I replied, trying to appear disaffected, but actually chafing at the bit _just _a smidge. Of course, I knew that Rei and I had agreed to feed Israfel to our EVAs together, and so that stayed my hand. Sōryu, on the other hand, had no such reassurances.

"This sucks. My first mission in Japan, and I can't even fight solo!" she whined.

"Yes, well, I don't see why you're complaining," I chided Kier. "If you're good enough to handle Angel elimination missions solo, it should not be too great a task for you to prove that today. A wise man once said that 'you will never serve as an officer unless you know the hardships of a grunt,' after all. Just keep your nose clean and back me up. You'll be fine." I said this knowing full well she wouldn't listen, but oh, well. So much for her…

Just then, the lock bolts on our EVAs were released, first for me, then for Sōryu; not for the first time, I wished this thing had a float system as it and I plummeted to the surface. We landed in a crouching position, one after the other, and then the trucks carrying our umbilical cables came up to us and were attached to our backs. "Two against one doesn't seem like a fair fight," she sulked.

"Yeah, well, this is war. Fair fights aren't exactly the mission statement, you know," I snapped at her. "Is it too much to ask for you to keep your mind on the task at hand? This isn't a _game,_ Second Child."

"Yes, I suppose you're right," she admitted.

"Good. Now, you're after me," I said, chambering the first round in the clip of the pellet rifle, then letting the weapon fall to my side. I popped one of my shoulder pylons and pulled forth a prog knife, readying myself for a repeat of the combat simulation from what must have been at least a month ago by now–or at least, I seemed to be. It was Sōryu's call, though, and if I knew her, she would jump the gun.

As soon as the Angel burst out of the water, she called, "Cover me!" and charged it head-on. I didn't wish to waste ammunition, and in reality, Kier didn't seem as though she _needed _me to lay down suppressive fire. Do you remember what I said about her only hearing things when she was ready to do so? Well, this would be a perfect example of that reality. She slashed it through the center with her EVA-sized spear, and I was left to watch and wait, my head propped up against my fist and a bemused smirk upon my face as I mentally counted down how long it would take for the Angel to regenerate itself, then show us its true abilities. Really, it kind of reminded me of waiting for Cornelia to comprehend what I had done to the Tokyo settlement's elaborate superstructure during the Black Rebellion. "Well, what did you think of _that?_" she asked. "A fight should be clean and elegant, without waste, no?"

"That may well be true; however, I think you'll find that the world of _is _never coincides with the world of _should_," I advised half mockingly, as I pointed with the EVA's finger at the 'corpse' of the Seventh Angel as it reactivated, its face plate forming a red-and-blue Taoist _taijitu _while its body, cloven in twain, formed fully into two separate forms.

"WHA…?!"

"Never assume your opponent is dead until you have confirmed the kill," I lectured, moving out of my rather languid position and taking hold of the EVA's control yokes (which I knew didn't actually do anything, but wasn't certain _she _knew). "And it isn't over until the core has been ruptured. Remember that, and you might just survive this war, Sōryu."

The grey one and the orange one, not having seen me thanks to my holding back on the suppressive fire, began to double-team her, and it was suddenly a two-on-one fight. Israfel was every inch the opponent I remember–without a coordinated assault, its ability to move in tandem was frustratingly paralyzing from a strategic perspective. Victory without Rei would not be impossible for me, of course, but it was not desirable; I knew this beforehand, and so, right on schedule, the mission objectives came down to inflicting enough damage to put them out to sea to regenerate, and securing Unit-02. _Simple enough, _I thought to myself. "I am…the Bird of Hermes," I said once more, holding out my left hand; and once more, the Lance of Longinus took shape and form in my grasp. I fired from the hip directly into the fray at the two Angels to get their attention, and then once the clip was spent, I tossed it away, twirled the Lance end over end in my hand, then snapped it down before me.

The pair closed on me swiftly; I swept out both of their legs, dancing to the side elegantly. Then I planted the pronged tip into the orange one's body, then swung it around like it had turned the Lance into a baseball bat, slamming into its grey sibling and sending them both flying. In midair, they remerged, seeing that their split form had become a liability, but that was exactly what I wished for them to do. Grinning manically, I launched myself at them, Lance in hand, and as I closed to close range, I cried out, "_Gáe…BOLG!_"

* * *

><p>"Today at eleven hundred hours, zero seconds, Unit-01 was attacked by both Targets Alpha and Beta, which, after Unit-02's assault, had split from one another," reported the voice of the debriefing officer, First Lieutenant Ibuki Maya. "Unit-01 managed to damage both targets sufficiently to necessitate their remerging, followed by their retreat after further damage was inflicted. This allowed for the recovery of Unit-02, which, after the initial attack, had been submerged two kilometers off of Saruga Bay. MAGI projections predict that in one week, the Seventh Angel will have repaired itself to a sufficient degree for another attack to be initiated."<p>

"Before you say anything," I interrupted, heading off Sōryu's oncoming eruption, "you should remember that one, had it not been for me, your life would have been terminated today; two, thanks to me, your Evangelion was recoverable; and three, you were entirely unprepared for the Angel's change of tactics."

"Alright, you two; just _what _do you think your job _is?_" called Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki.

"To eliminate the Angels," I answered instantaneously. "However, before _you _get on my case, sir, I would have you remember that it was not only Pilot Sōryu, who is very much new at this, but all of NERV who was unprepared for the target's change of tactics. Any humiliation you endured today is a direct result of your _inability _to adapt to the demands of the situation. So do not go blaming this failure on _us_–in Commander Ikari's absence, you are our commanding officer, sir, so _our _failures are _your _failures. Not to mention it is unbecoming of a commander to berate their own subordinates for _their _strategic failings."

It didn't take a detective or a world-class diplomat to see that Fuyutsuki was outraged at being dressed down by someone less than half his age, but try as he might, he couldn't formulate a counterargument that didn't immediately degenerate into rather lackluster _ad hominem _attacks–which I oh-so-graciously informed him of. Enough of this, and he merely conceded the point, but with an admonition that this state of events was unfortunate, before he pressed a button on his console that allowed him to descend. I saluted all in the room, then retired to the shower; I was kind of in a rush to return to Rei.

After my shower and dressing in my NERV pilot's uniform, I exited the men's locker room, and then was pleasantly unsurprised to see Rei waiting there for me. _How did it go?_ she asked.

I shrugged. _As we had expected, more or less. I managed to marginalize the Angels without involving the U.N., so NERV's credibility remains untarnished. Moreover, we have between a week and ten days before Israfel recovers from my use of the Lance's ultimate technique. If my EVA had a Super Solenoid, I would have been able to provide enough mana for the attack to be delivered at full strength, rather than the one quarter maximum potency I had to work with, but since I was manifesting the Lance through the EVA, I was unable to deliver the killing blow. Thankfully, this also works in relation to the plan, so we're more or less set_, I sent back.

_That's good to hear_, she replied. _Let's go._

* * *

><p>"<em>Tadaima!<em>" I called out, taking off my shoes and my NERV-issue jacket. I walked past all of the moving boxes, knowing precisely what this meant. I opened the door to my room and nodded to myself upon finding that everything was precisely as I remembered from last time.

"Why are you still here?" asked Sōryu, obviously aiming to shock me.

I turned to her, minorly annoyed, and cut off her oncoming continuation. "Listen, I can see that you're moving in with Misato and me, but I would ask that you don't make presumptions. Your room will be over there," I lectured her, pointing over at what had become my room the last time I had gone through this little farce. "Now, would you _kindly _remove these boxes and place them in your room? And seriously, _who needs this many personal belongings?! _Are you compensating for something or what? Or is the West merely the foremost purveyor of decadence and slovenly greed, as we had been given reason to assume, on top of being totally belligerent?"

"Hmph. _I _don't see what grounds upon which you stand to make such demands. I mean, seriously…"

"_NOW, _Second Child. Do it now or I do it _myself,_" I snapped. "And trust me, I will be _far _less gentle with your effects. I mean, _honestly; _talk about a lack of common courtesy or decency. What kind of manners must they be teaching you in Berlin? Oh, and make sure to move my belongings back into there just as it was when you got there. Believe me, you do _not _wish to see what would happen if Misato found the absinthe I keep around for cooking…"

"What's that about absinthe?" asked Misato.

"_No. _It's off-limits to you, Misato," I replied instantaneously, remembering this little debacle of a day far better than I wished to. "That's why I kept it under lock and key, by the way. I've seen you; when it comes to alcohol, you _really_ don't know when to stop."

"What?! I'll have you know that I know _exactly _when to stop; I just choose not to," she corrected me. "And besides, we've got more important matters to worry about."

"We're not going to like this, are we?" I asked rhetorically.

"I don't know, and I don't care," she responded.

* * *

><p>"There's only one way to destroy the Seventh Angel–to initiate a simultaneous, two-pronged attack, destroying both the Angel's cores while they're still separated," explained Misato. "To that end, I want you to live together so as to achieve a better understanding of one another in order to be able to execute this."<p>

"I'm not having sex with her, if that's what you're saying," I said, pointing at Sōryu.

"No! That's not what I meant!"

"That's a first," I huffed, still irked by her teasing on the _Over the Rainbow._

"I just want you two to live together, that's all."

I laughed. "You _really _need to work on your wording, Misato," I remarked.

"Regardless," she continued, soldiering onwards and pulling forth a floppy disk. "The master attack plan will be choreographed using _this _music. If you follow it exactly, you should be able to work completely in synch to destroy both targets. We begin now, we attack in seven days."

"Working with a plan whose chances of success are so slim? That's typical of you, isn't it, Misato?" I remarked again. "But, by the same token, it's taken you _this _far, so I suppose I _can _say that it works for you, and so I'll trust in it for the time being." Of course, the fact of the matter was that I _did, _but that it would have to go differently this time around. Thankfully, unlike last time, I had no predisposition against speaking my mind, and so this would almost certainly be blessedly easy.

* * *

><p>Now, even though I say that, it still seemed as though it was a divine wind which brought Rei to the door before three days had passed. In the few hours following the briefing, Sōryu and I had been forced to dress in identical clothes, then to perform on pads for a game that was somewhere between 'Twister' and 'Dance Dance Revolution.' And in that time, Kier and I were out of synch like you read about; so when Rei came in to check up on me, I saw fit to go forth and seize the moment–fuck the day. When she rang the doorbell, we both came to get it together, and when she saw us in our matching outfits, her soul wavelength went from amused to irritated to angry over the course of a few seconds, though none of it registered on her face.<p>

"What is going on?" she asked impassively.

"Rei! Good, you're here! Come in!" I rushed out before Sōryu could get a word in edgewise. She nodded at once and obligingly stepped into the apartment that Misato, Sōryu and I all shared–temporarily, that is.

"Rei-san? What are you doing here?" asked Misato, a tad nervously. _She's still slightly afraid of Rei, _I thought. _Good. That can only work in our favor for this exercise. _

"I am here to check in on Shinji-kun," she replied, attaching an honorific presumably because she was talking about me to Misato, as opposed to speaking with me directly. "Will that be problematic?"

"A…a bit, since Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan are trying to synchronize, and your presence might be a destabilizing influence," ventured my guardian.

"If they are in the middle of something, I would like to stay and observe," said Rei, sitting down on one of the chairs in the kitchen and watching Sōryu and I struggle at our assigned task. "I shall not be a disruption."

"I…I suppose that's okay, then," Misato ceded, sitting down herself and continuing with the task at hand. "Let's go again, you two!"

I groaned inwardly, but mustered my resolve, acknowledging that I would only have to do this a few more times at most before Rei stepped in, and soul resonance could be achieved. It was almost funny; in the short time that I had had the skill, soul resonance between myself and Rei had become something akin to a drug for me, and it was thus something I worked towards getting throughout the dance with Sōryu.

_Third row, first column; first row, fourth column; fourth row, third column… _I thought to myself, keeping track of each dot I was designated to reach at any given time. I waited for it to happen; invariably, due to the high-tension environment that existed between myself and Kier–and _not _the good kind, either; this was antagonistic, combative tension–we would begin to get competitive (or rather, _S__ō__ryu _would, and out of a vested interest in synching, I would as well), and inevitably, one of us would slip up, and then _somehow, someway, _in Sōryu's view, _I _was always at fault. When it was due to her, I usually judged it a battle not worth fighting, slipped in a none-too-subtle jab at her dignity, and then continue on; when it was me who was _actually _to blame, which was, as one might have guessed, relatively rare, I would skip all of that and proceed onto the last item on the list. Finally, the board lit up–one of us had made an error, and I knew it wasn't me.

"May I try?" asked Rei, heading off the oncoming eruption of Mount Sōryu. "Perhaps it will encourage them to work together."

"Sure," agreed Misato. "Go ahead."

Sōryu stepped off of the pad obligingly, a smug smirk on her face, and Rei got on. We set our Super Solenoids to resonating Absolute Terror frequencies, and then got to work. What followed was a thing of beauty.

Sixty-two seconds later, we stood up, having gotten a perfect rating on our synch test. I had intentionally erred, and Rei moved to the same dot as I did, even though we were in error, thus tricking the machine into reading perfect scores. Misato and Sōryu stared blankly at us for several seconds, the former in wonder and the latter in horror. "Well, I'll be damned," Misato swore. "Maybe I should alter the mission plan to pair up Shinji-kun and Rei-san."

"No…no way!" cried Sōryu. "But they screwed up!"

"What you fail to understand, _Second Child,_" I began, "is that it isn't about whether we were perfect or imperfect. The Seventh Angel requires a simultaneous, synchronized assault on both halves at once, _not _that we get every dot right when dancing on a pad. It is the coordination that counts in this instance, and not how closely we follow the plan. After all, I think it was Napoleon who said that 'no battle plan ever _quite _survives first contact with the enemy.' The precise choreography will almost without a doubt be screwed up by the Angel's actions; we must adapt and carry on, else defeat shall be the result. Isn't that right, Misato?"

"You're correct," she replied, her expression thoughtful.

"To that end…NERV Operations Director Captain Katsuragi Misato, I, NERV Pilot Ikari Shinji do hereby request a transfer of living quarters," I said, drawing the surprise of both the Second Child and Misato, though more from the former than the latter. "Effective immediately, I would like to move in full-time with NERV Pilot Ayanami Rei so as to become more reliably synchronized with her. Should we succeed in this, I move that the change in living arrangement becomes permanent. Should we fail, however, this arrangement shall be reversed at once. I also motion that the mission plan indeed be changed to reflect this new _status quo._"

"You two have been planning this for a while now, haven't you?" Misato accused, playfully suspicious.

We nodded, perfectly in synch.

She sighed. "Very well. Motion approved."

"WHAT?!" shrieked the Second Child.

"_Arigat__ō__ gozaimasu, _Misato-san," Rei and I said in unison, bowing in like fashion.

"You two lovebirds have fun. And don't make me regret this."

We grinned at once.

* * *

><p>It was the day of our rematch with Israfel, Angel of the Trumpet. Misato proclaimed "<em>EVA Launch!<em>" and inserted the floppy, starting the mission timer as EVA-00 and EVA-01 were conveyed to the surface of Tokyo-3 via the catapult system. We shot up into the air at once, taking out our spanners and throwing them down at the Angel, and when they hit, it was divided in twain. We flipped in midair, then began our descent, smashing the halves' faces into the ground with a pair of two-footed axe kicks that used our momentum to add weight; we landed and crouched, then launched ourselves backwards off of them, backflipping into a pair of matching kneeling power-slides, our hands in the ground to stop our motion. Then, we did the thing we had been practicing since we had moved in together.

"_Let's go! Super Solenoid synchronization! Absolute Terror frequencies align! Begin soul resonance!_" we called out together, kicking our Super Solenoid Organs into action and making our minds and souls coincide, linking our actions to one another in harmony. I, being an expert on the fine art of _blitzkrieg_–or rather, consistent offense–took the lead in our match. Thankfully, since my demonstration of the prototype combat system on the _Over the Rainbow, _all three of our EVAs had been fitted with the same rigs.

We popped our shoulder pylons, bringing forth our dual progressive knife sets from their sheaths, reversing our grips and closing to effective combat range. We launched ourselves at our targets, neutralized their Absolute Terror Fields as we reached the optimum distance from which to do so, and slashed through at their waists, then spun up and around to slash across their faces. We each took one half, stabbed them in the chest region on either side of their cores, carried them up and over our heads, then slammed them down into the ground on the other side of us–albeit, outside of the limits of Tokyo-3. We closed the gap between us; then, we proceeded to cut their Super Solenoid Organs out, and simultaneously we fed them to our Evangelions.

Their pilots already having one each, and the beasts inside the EVAs already having adapted to our presence, the Evangelions replicated the Super Solenoids in record time, completing themselves and making it so that they now had fully-formed souls, destroying the personality transplant operating systems inside at the same time. I breathed a sigh of relief as the last remnants of Ikari Yui, no longer having a mortal form to call her own, drifted into oblivion; likewise, Rei breathed a similar sigh of relief, albeit for a vastly different reason–the personality transplant OS of Unit-00 rejoined with the other half of its soul, which was, of course, hers. At that point, the personalities of each EVA came to the fore; from Rei, I gathered that EVA-00 was her companion, Saga, at the same time that I perceived, to my great relief, that EVA-01's true soul was that of my familiar, Jaquelyn, as opposed to the incomplete familiar known only as Perdition's Flame.

The Angel, confused, recombined across the great distance that separated it from itself–at least fifty kilometers–and formed a temporary solution, visibly frightened that the Super Solenoids of both its halves had disappeared. I smirked, quoting my sister as I said, "What, still alive? Don't be such a _pain!_" Rei and I pounced from opposite directions, covering a distance of twenty-five kilometers each into the mountains and driving a total of four progressive knives into the Seventh Angel's makeshift core at once.

Israfel, Angel of the Trumpet, vanished into a massive explosion.

"NERV Central? This is Pilot Ikari," I reported.

"And this is Pilot Ayanami," reported Rei.

We spoke next in unison. "The target has been neutralized."


	8. Devotion (Second Child, First Blood)

_NERV Central_

No one quite knew what to say to Rei and me after our Evangelions were recovered. We had neutralized the target, yes, but in so doing we had given our EVAs Super Solenoid Organs, and by doing this of our own volition, purged them of the intrusive personality transplant operating systems, and according to the MAGI, this was a no-no, since, apparently, it caused the supercomputer to lose the ability to detect the Evangelions' status. As such, as soon as our EVAs returned to base, Rei and I were taken directly to Commander Ikari by the black-suited lapdogs that made up Section Two. We stood before the door to his office as it slid open to reveal him, seated at his desk, his hands folded before his face, and Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki Kōzō standing off to his side and a little bit behind him.

"Well," I said, breaking the awkward silence as we were shoved quite roughly into the office. My voice reflected the calm composure I felt from within; Ikari Gendo thought himself a mastermind, but in reality, he knew nothing of the kind of warfare that would soon ensue, if I had my way in this situation. "This was unexpected–you changed your plans and returned from your trip just to see us, hmm? I feel…almost _flattered, _really."

"Be silent," he snapped as the door closed behind us. "I have not the time for such childish games."

"Oh, but _that's _where you're mistaken, Ikari Gendo," I replied, my tone casually mocking. "You've got _plenty _of time for childish games–time enough to neglect the two children you brought into this world, through whatever means this was accomplished, in order to try and reverse death. Death, by its nature, is final; every soldier–Hell, every true adult–knows and accepts this. Face it, Commander; you've been playing childish games for the last eleven years of your miserable, worthless life."

"Watch your mouth!" cried Fuyutsuki, scandalized.

"No, he's right," said Gendo, holding up a hand to stop his subordinate. "My life _is _a miserable, worthless one, and it was a childish idea to try to bring Yui back to life. However, that is why I sent you away–I wished to bring back Yui because I did not know the first thing about child rearing. It was out of concern as your father…"

"You are not my _father,_" I interrupted. "You may be my _sire, _but you are no more my _father _than Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki here is your _brother. _Know your place!"

"Fine, then. It was out of concern as your _sire _that I did all that I have done," he finished. "But it seems as though all of that is at an end. Are you going to kill me now?"

"Of course not; you're still useful to me, after all, and it wouldn't do for a craftsman to dispose of his tools before he is finished with them, now would it?" I responded candidly. "I need you to be an intermediary between myself and SEELE. You, Ikari Gendo, and you, Fuyutsuki Kōzō, now work for me. Is that understood?"

Gendo nodded his comprehension, and shortly thereafter (albeit much more unwillingly), so, too, did Fuyutsuki.

I smiled. "Very good, then."

* * *

><p><em>That was quite sudden of the commander to just submit to your will,<em> remarked Rei.

_The instant I demonstrated that I knew what his intent was, he knew it was all over for him, _I replied. _This version of him is much quicker on the draw than his previous ones–all things being equal, of course. _

_So _that's _what just went on back there, _sent she. _I figured, but did not wish to assume._

_ Well, your estimation, as ever, was correct, it seems, _I sent back.

We were at the apartment that she and I now shared, eating dinner together after having completed moving the last of my possessions into its proper place. This being our apartment, I could allow myself to let out my true appearance, and even make manifest the tattoo that ran up my left forearm, both of my upper arms and my back being devoted to my magic crest, which was inscribed in black; this tattoo was representative of the Lance of Longinus. Such a release of the illusions in which I enshrouded myself in day-to-day life was well worth the physical discomfort that wearing such a shroud of shadows for too long engendered in the one subjected to such spellcraft.

Following my confrontation with the commander, he had assured me that he would not freeze Unit-01 or Unit-00, regardless of the fact that both now possessed Super Solenoid Organs, once I had informed him that we could control them. And so here we were, still EVA pilots (which was more than I could say last time, since after EVA-01 became completed last time, SEELE had ordered it frozen on the grounds that it was uncontrollable), as well as in a position of power that we had not been in before facing Israfel. So far, everything was on track; the next Angel would be, of course, Sandalphon, the Angel of the Unborn, which would be Sōryu's to eliminate, since the Science Division was no doubt already hard at work making the equipment on both Units accommodate their Super Solenoids, and so I thought it not at all a diversion from our responsibilities with regards to the plan to take some time off. We, of course, planned to do so in the hot springs after the mission was over.

_Well, I know how I'd like to celebrate this turn of events, _sent Rei with a wave of mischief that was…_strange _in nature, _as well as our victory in battle today. _She stood up from the table, her plate and mine both being empty, and walked around to my side, leaning down and pressing her lips to mine forcefully. My eyes went wide with surprise, and I stiffened at the unexpected contact, before, in a way, coming to my senses, then returning the kiss. At once, what was shocking became heated, hungry, as I unconsciously initiated soul resonance, feeding through to each other the sensations the other felt–though it would only be a one-way street if the other partner did not reciprocate, causing me to conjecture that Rei wanted this as much as I did. And who could blame us? We had been living together for a week, and in that week, we had done everything together, though we had not…_been _together during that time–it was work, and past experience taught that mixing work with pleasure sometimes pulled one's attention from one or the other, since each had a way of trying to demand one's full and undivided focus.

She began to pull away, and I followed unconsciously; she smiled wryly at me. _You're so hopeless, Shinji,_ she teased. _Getting worked up over something so small as a kiss…_

_It isn't small, and you know it, _I shot back in response to her chiding.

She grinned just a bit wider. _It will be, _she sent.

_Never, _I countered.

_We'll see about that, now won't we?_ She got up, sauntering–yes, _sauntering_–over to the bed. Halfway there, she sent a 'come hither' look, the kind you're only supposed to read about, over her shoulder. Entranced, I stood up and obeyed her command; we kissed again, then fell to the mattress.

It was hours afterwards, as the moonlight streamed through the window and lit upon the bed, that I slid back a bit and gazed upon the wilder beauty Rei was exhibiting, her skin shining with the sweat that our mutual first experience (in these bodies, anyway) with copulation had worked up, her form tangled up in equally sweat-soaked sheets. Sometimes it was damnably inconvenient that Second Impact had left the world in a state of year-round summer, and this would ordinarily be one of those times, but I didn't care. What I had just done with the one I loved made me both breathless and guilty, the latter of which I crushed quite ruthlessly, resolving only to give fertile soil to that emotion if Rei allowed me to do so. The bluish moonlight shone off her ivory flesh, outlining her heaving breast in a radiant lunar aura, the moment filling my mind with images of the moon reflecting upon a still, calm pond, the instant before a stone disrupted that delicate equilibrium; these seemed to have the same texture.

I resolved, in that moment, that if it came down to a choice between my life and hers, hers would always take priority. I knew it was selfish, but I couldn't bring myself to make any other choice, no less than I could have borne to tear my human heart out with my bare hands prior to ingesting ADAM. I prayed, however, that it wouldn't come to that; I would have thought, once upon a time, that consummation would make me more at peace, more satisfied with the time that she and I had together. I knew now that that was not the case; I was now more protective of the time we spent in each other's company, more hungry to be in proximity to her, than ever before.

Now I knew what it meant to love someone so much it hurt.

* * *

><p>I was distracted from my homework long enough to watch as Rei executed a perfect swan dive into the pool of the NERV athletics center. A smile sprouted upon my face at this, and a passage from the Ripley Scroll came to mind at that moment: "And thank you, God, of this sight."<p>

Having foreknowledge of what was going to happen, we didn't bother preparing to go on the class trip, although this time, it was only Sōryu getting dressed down for her grades; we just had to stay on the grounds that the unproven Second Child might need backup should an Angel attack us over the next week. Of course, we didn't object; being there while Sandalphon would be taken down would greatly improve our credibility and increase our chances of engaging in combat. I still had my illusion up, of course, but we had a plan for that, as well, and I was going over it mentally as I was wiping up the remains of my physics homework after the solid thrashing I had given it, thankfully without the lecture on thermal expansion from Sōryu that would have been insanely more awkward this time around then last time, particularly since for a girl of western descent, her bust size was nothing spectacular and wouldn't draw my attention For this mission, we'll send a single EVA diving into the magma to retrieve it," I remember thinking, _It's going to be me…as always. _anyways. Such was the only way my mind was able to respond to such a clumsy and haphazard attempt at seduction on her part. _Oy vey…_

Sometimes I hated being an INTJ, particularly when it sent thoughts running through my head that I _really _didn't want to have there. This was one of those times.

Fast forward about fifteen minutes, and we had all been rushed into the briefing room, where Misato and the others were really worked up over the prospect of obtaining a living Angel as a test subject. Seeing this caused a wave of nostalgia to hit; when Misato explained, "The objective is to capture the Angel and bring it back to base. Thankfully, I knew it wasn't, but even when having it sucked, it's sometimes easy to get caught in the trap of missing your youthful innocence and ignorance.

"Let me guess: it's going to be the Second Child, isn't it?" I asserted.

"Why yes, Shinji. How did you…"

"The researchers haven't finished fitting new B-type equipment to EVA-00 or EVA-01, let alone the D-type equipment, so it's only rational that EVA-02 would be designated for such an undertaking," I replied. "But enough on that. We're going to be back-up, aren't we?"

"Yes. Unit-00 and Unit-01 will be on standby in case the Angel escapes containment and has to be neutralized," she confirmed.

"This is my chance to prove myself!" exclaimed Sōryu. "Oh, I hope _Kaji_ will be watching, too!"

"Still got that crush on Kaji-san? You really _are _hopeless, aren't you, Second Child?" I said ruefully.

"Hey! You take that back!" cried Sōryu, outraged.

"Why would I take back something that's true, Sōryu?" I challenged.

"It isn't!"

"Then why are you so set on me taking it back? _Ipso facto__, _right?" I countered. "If it wasn't true, then you wouldn't care, now would you?"

"That's enough, now," said Misato, her A.T. frequency showing that she was attempting to stifle her amusement.

"Sure thing, Misato," I replied.

* * *

><p>"This is so embarrassing!" Sōryu whined, speaking about the bulkiness of the D-type equipment.<p>

"Oh, quit your whingeing, Sōryu," I scolded. "You don't want to look any worse in front of _Kaji, _now do you?"

"You shut up, _Third,_" she snapped.

"Not on the battlefield, _Second,_" I returned. "And neither are _you, _for that matter."

"_Arschloch!_"

"And what a _mouth _on _you, _Sōryu!" I taunted. "We might want to wash it out with soap and water so that it doesn't fester."

"I'll show you!" she cried as she began her descent into the magma.

"We'll see!" I called in a condescending little sing-song voice that I knew she hated.

"Bite me!"

"No thanks. I'd be afraid your rudeness would give me indigestion."

"Ugh!"

_How are you doing, Shinji? _asked Rei. _Besides tormenting the Second Child, I mean._

_Soul resonance between me and the EVA is holding steady at 48.92%, though I'm showing a synch ratio of 84.37%,_ I replied. _I don't want to exhaust my body before the battle, such as it is, even _begins_, do I?_

_I suppose you don't, _she agreed. _Team soul resonance is at 68.29%, though. I'm primed to spike it if anything here doesn't go according to plan._

_Thanks, Rei. I appreciate that, _I acknowledged. _So, what do you want for dinner?_

…_Udon? _she responded tentatively.

_Udon it is, then, _I assented.

[We've made contact with the subject. Moving to capture,] came Misato's voice over the EVA-to-base radio mission monitors.

[The chrysalis is entering the adult phase!] cried Ritsuko just seconds after. [Mission objective changing from capture to elimination!]

"Attacking the Angel now!" Sōryu responded. I sat there, my tilted head propped up against my fist as this little debacle of a farce continued. "I lost my prog knives! That Angel's hide's too tough! I can't cut it!"

"Remember thermal expansion, Second Child. That Angel's lived its whole life in this magma. One would think that it's adapted to its environment," I lectured like I was teaching a child–which, I suppose, I was. "But therein lies its weakness. How did engineers burrow through mountains before gunpowder was invented?"

"They heated the rocks with fire and then rapidly cooled them with water, causing them to crack!" she replied, comprehension dawning. "Using coolant pipe! But I'll need a prog knife!"

I popped one of my shoulder pylons, moving forth and throwing one of my prog knives down into the magma. "There. Now, Second Child, show me what you can do!"

"On it!" she affirmed. I waited as she killed it, then reacted as she began to sink, her tether tearing due to the damage the Angel did to it. I reached in and grabbed it, pulling it and her up, and then grasping her hand when it came into view. With my help, she emerged from the lake of liquid fire.

"Congratulations on your first kill, soldier," I said.

"You…you saved my life!" she cried.

"Of course," I replied. "An EVA is a highly-expensive machine, and those capable of piloting it are in short supply. I would be remiss if I let either of these go to waste."

I could almost _picture _her face falling. "Oh. So _that's _why you did it."

"Of course," I responded, feigning confusion. "Would there be any other reason to?"

"No," she sighed. "I suppose not."

* * *

><p>As per last time, we were relaxing at the hot springs, and although we weren't allowed to go into a private spring as a couple, I knew that both Rei and I were enjoying it, although it was strange, knowing all that would come to pass, to be in a spring with Kaji the spy. It was still all that it was supposed to be, but the strangeness certainly factored into the experience as a whole. Still, I refused to allow it to get to me, even though I had to endure questions from Kaji that, due to my nonexistent relationship with Rei last time around, I hadn't had to answer.<p>

"So, how long have you and the lovely Ayanami-san been going out, Ikari-kun?" he asked casually.

"Since Operation Yashima," I replied honestly. "I always thought Rei-chan was beautiful, but I never had the courage to come out and confess, mostly on the grounds that I thought she might think it weird and reject me. But after seeing her get hurt by the Fifth Angel, I couldn't bear to think that one of us might die without me ever telling her how I felt. And so I rushed to her entry plug, wrenched it open, and then confessed my feelings to her. Much to my surprise, she reciprocated, and we've been together ever since."

"And how far have you gotten with her?"

"Kaji-san, I am a gentleman! I don't kiss and tell," I responded, feigning the feeling of being scandalized, even though a blind, deaf, comatose lobotomy patient could have seen that question coming from a mile off with someone like Kaji.

"Alright, I can respect that," he nodded, acting as if it was the correct answer. "So what is Ayanami Rei to you, then, Shinji?"

"That's an easy one," I answered. "Everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Would you…care to clarify?"

"Sure," I replied. "When we first met, the commander was wheeling her past me on a gurney, prepared to put her into EVA-01 and fight the Third Angel as a method of strong-arming me into helping in his little war effort. You hear about love at first sight all the time, and usually from hormonal teenagers who're soon to break apart; but the first thought that passed through my mind was, 'She's so beautiful,' followed by a feeling of intimidation. Rei-chan's beauty is as cool and austere as it is absolute, and so I wasn't sure how to approach her–I guess you could call it 'butterflies in the stomach,' although that's not quite accurate–but when I saw her on that gurney, getting up and getting ready to fight because I didn't want to… I know self-hatred very well, Kaji-san; I've spent most of my life wallowing in it. But I have never hated myself nearly as profoundly as I did at that moment–the idea that my selfishness might condemn her to fighting was abhorrent to me, even more so when I saw her in pain as the Third Angel's energy beams caused that quake in the GeoFront that tossed her to the ground. And so, at that moment, Rei-chan became my reason for fighting, and somewhere along the way, she stopped being just my reason for fighting, and became my reason for _being. _She gives my efforts, my struggles, my very life itself meaning, when before her, there was none, was nothing short of total emptiness. And so, Kaji-san, Rei-chan is my whole world–in short, she is everything to me."

"Well," he said, floored. "That's some pretty impressive devotion, there."

"Oh, it's nothing special," I responded. "Isn't that just how _everyone _feels when they're in love?"

"Not really," he confessed. "Ayanami-san is lucky to have you, Shinji. I hope she knows just _how _lucky."

"Ridiculous," I snorted sincerely. "More like the other way around. I'm nobody. If I wasn't an EVA pilot, my life would be totally unnecessary–I'd be disposable. Really and honestly, this time I'm spending with Rei is just as much time as I can enjoy before she finds someone better and abandons me. And I'm fine with that, really. I lay down my life for Rei on a regular basis; it would be ludicrously selfish–almost megalomaniacal–to expect her to do the same for me." And it was true; I relished being able to tell someone the truth about how I felt about Rei, about everything, and so everything I told Kaji was exactly that, knowing that I could without fear of having my nature discovered by someone who really shouldn't know anything about it. "I'm being as honest as I can."

"Well then, let's change the subject," he pronounced, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "How did you summon the Lance of Longinus?"

"Oh, so _that's _what it's called? I never knew. And as to how I called it, well, that's for me to know, and for you to find out, isn't it?" I challenged a mite coquettishly.

"So, in other words, the way in which you summon the only Angel-killing weapon known to man is your little secret, huh?"

"Correct, Kaji Ryōji," I pronounced.

"Well, we all have our little secrets, now don't we?" said Kaji.

"Like your past relationship with Captain Katsuragi?"

"How did you know about that?!"

"It's fairly obvious to anyone who looks closely enough. I mean, you could cut the sexual tension between you two with a _progressive_ knife, it's so thick," I replied. "And unlike the Second Child, I have no interest in keeping the wool over my eyes on _that_ front. If you want my advice, it seems like a flame that really should be rekindled, albeit a bit more slowly, this time. I think it would do you both good, quite honestly."

"Well, um, thanks, Shinji," he responded. "That's awfully…I don't know…_something _of you."

"No problem."

* * *

><p>"Shinji, I was listening in on your conversation with Kaji-san," said Rei, starting off our return trip conversation as I lay with my head in her lap in the backseat of the NERV van that was taking us back to Tokyo-3. "Is that…<em>honestly <em>how you feel?"

"Yes, Rei, it is," I replied comfortably. "Couldn't you sense it"_ in my A.T. frequency?_

"I could, but I did not wish to," she affirmed, a touch more uncomfortably.

"What's bothering you?" I asked, reaching up and caressing the side of her face. "Tell me. Please."

"It is what you said to Kaji-san," she responded. "About how you see yourself. I am… I am having difficulty understanding it. I…I cannot see how you would come to those conclusions. About yourself, and about us."

"I don't see what's so difficult to understand," I remarked, cocking my head in genuine confusion. "I'm nothing, and you're everything. Everything perfect and imperfect about you is my center, my very reason for being. You give me life, and give my life meaning. How could I compare to that, or be so arrogant as to think you lucky to have me? Only in your eyes am I worthy, Rei, and I would cast the world and myself into the deepest pits of Hell before I allowed _anything_ to lay a single _finger _on you. And I would never, ever hurt you."

"That is what I mean," she replied. "I… It distresses me that you would see yourself in such a manner."

In front of them, separated by a partition, Misato and Ritsuko were listening in. "I joked that it's like something out of a dime store novel, but it really is, isn't it?" said Misato. "This thing these kids have…"

"It's not like they're kids at all," Ritsuko volunteered. "And they're not–not really. They're soldiers in a war for the survival of humanity. Their childhoods have been taken from them, and so all they have is one another. It's the stuff of those kinds of books, anyway–surely a sappy enough set-up, when all's said and done."

"Wish I could have that sort of set-up," pouted Misato. "Instead I'm stuck with my burnt-out wreck of a love life."

"You had a chance for that and you gave it up, remember? Back in college?"

"Of course I do. Why do you think I'm beating myself up even now?" she asked.

"Remembering what could have been. It's really nothing but torment," mused Ritsuko.

"Amen to that. Then again, I wonder what it says about me that these kids seem to have figured it out where I failed," pondered Misato.

"Nothing good," replied Ritsuko. "But then again, could you have expected it to?"

"No. I suppose not," she responded. "Which makes it that much sadder."

"You've got a point, there," mused the scientist. "And I can't say I'm any better."

"So, could it be that we're the poster children for getting it wrong, and they're the poster children for getting it right?" proposed the officer

"Who can really say?"

"I guess you're right."


	9. I Don't Need A Protector

_Tokyo-3: The Ayanami Residence_

"Shinji, what are you working away on that notebook for?" asked Rei from the door to the bedroom. Three hours ago, we had been in the process of breaking in our new apartment–obtained thanks to the influence we now held with the once-great Ikari Gendo, who has, since his defeat at my hands, become rudderless and pliable. Now, I sat on the couch, typing out lines and lines of code to use against a foe that we would be facing a while in the future. "Come back to bed."

"Tell me, Rei, have you ever read a pre-Second Impact novel called 'The Andromeda Strain'? In the book, there's a crystalline alien microbiotic life-form that evolves faster than it can be analyzed, which in the process creates a problem, since initially, it is deadly to humans, inducing blood clotting and hemorrhaging, which are shown to lead to death or insanity," I replied instead of assenting. She came over to me, and I scooted over and patted the space next to me; she took the cue and sat, watching me go about my task. "Unfortunately, the book ends with it mutating into a harmless state and taking to the atmosphere, where it causes space shuttles to burn up on reentry. But I'm taking inspiration from this and working up a little surprise for the Eleventh Angel, when it decides to appear this time 'round. Last time, Doctor Akagi worked out a way to stop it, but I can't count on things to go according to plan. This is a contingency subroutine which will convince the entity that it is its own mission objective, and as such, consume itself–in case Ritsuko fails in her task. I call it 'Metatron'."

"Shinji, while I am grateful that you are doing everything in your power to make sure we have a certainty of victory, you have more pressing concerns at the moment," she responded.

"I know that Matarael and Sahaquiel have to attack before Ireul becomes a problem, but I can cross this bridge now, and so I have to prepare as much as I can." I looked to her. "I can't bear the thought of seeing you hurt because of something I failed to do."

"I can take care of myself. I am not looking for you to protect me."

"I know, I know, it's just… What if something happened to you?" I asked. "I couldn't live with myself knowing that there's something I could have done."

"Why is working always the answer to you?" she huffed in frustration. "It's not, you know."

"That may well be the case," I said, looking away, my voice becoming small. "But even so, it's all I know how to do. And I have to do _something._"

"Then do something _productive, _for a change," said Rei, placing her hand atop my once more rapidly working fingers, gently prying them off of the keyboard and placing them atop her bare breast, right over her heart. "The Metatron can wait; the Voice of Heaven is nothing if not patient. Right now, these hands of yours could be put to much better use." She reached out and caressed my face, softly but firmly bringing my eyes to hers. There was a great deal of steel there in those crimson orbs of hers, and I could find it in myself to do nothing but relent to her will.

"But…but what if…" Her hand ceased caressing me, and instead placed itself atop my mouth, stopping me from saying any more.

"Cease your worrying. I. Can. Take. Care. Of. Myself," she spelled out patiently. "Now, will you come back to bed, or will I have to sleep alone tonight, with you on the couch?"

Even though I was without the urges towards copulation most teenage boys were endowed (or cursed, depending on your point of view) with, it was not a difficult decision to make. With a sigh, I hung my head; "Yes, Rei," I replied, forcing the notebook off of my lap, standing up and following Rei back into the bedroom we shared.

"Whatever the future brings, we face it together. Was that not what you said?" she reminded me as she pulled me down to the bed. "I will not leave you to face it alone. I will not let you be that selfish. And I will not let you do something so stupid that it might force you to leave me alone. I will not have it. Do you understand?"

"I do," I replied sheepishly.

"I am not Pilot Sōryu–not some delicate little _gaijin _doll you need to be strong for. Are we clear on that?" she asked sharply as she guided me into her.

"Yes, we are," I responded, feeling and finding comfort in the strength of her love for me through her soul wavelength. "_Gomen nasai, _Rei. I know how strong you are; I meant no slight against you…"

"Then _show me,_" she commanded as she completed the thrust.

And I did.

* * *

><p>"Wow, Shin-man's on Cloud Nine over here," teased Tōji as the three of us–Kensuke, Tōji and myself–were sitting propped up against the fence during P.E. It was the next day; rather, the day of Matarael's attack, and his words, combined with his hand passing back and forth in front of my face, brought me out of my coitus-induced reverie. "I guess the rumors of him and Ayanami-san living together are true. Good on ya, swinging that arrangement."<p>

My first instinct was to wave my arms and assure them that it wasn't like that; but I could not do that, seeing as what they were thinking of was very much the way it was–though thinking that made me realize that my train of thought was becoming contorted, which was my reaction whenever I became embarrassed. I let my blush slip through my illusion. "I would prefer not to talk about it."

"Really? Because…" began Kensuke.

"I said, _I would prefer not to talk about it,_" I snapped, turning to him and giving my most deathly promising glare.

He cringed back; "Sure, sure, I get it, you don't want to talk about it!"

"Thank you," I said, turning and relaxing back into the fencing. "And Tōji, I'll bet you'd be the same way if you were living with the class representative."

"_Hikari?! _What are you, _nuts?!_" he cried, reddening quickly and not just reddening, but _flailing_ his arms about ineffectually. "She'd never go for me!"

"Keep telling yourself that, if it actually makes you feel any better," I sighed as I tilted my head back, closing my eyes. "But that doesn't change the fact that everyone else can see that you two are almost like a couple already."

"What do you mean, 'everyone else can see it'?!"

"Calm down. I'm only _half_-teasing," I assured him. "I know you're too scared of her to go for it, and so does she."

"What? No! Of course not! _Me,_ being scared of _her?!_ And her _knowing _about it?!" He laughed half-heartedly. "Ridiculous!"

"She told me herself," I informed him.

"You _talk _to her?!"

"Of course. She's a friend, both to me and to Rei. We had her over two nights ago, when she said, 'I like Suzuhara-san, and I know he likes me, but he's too frightened of me to even _think_ about confessing,'" I relayed. "I don't blame you, nor do I fault your taste; she's quite the formidable woman. Not my type, of course, but an attractive, formidable woman all the same."

"I…I…I give up," said Suzuhara, hanging his head. "Fine. I'll spend a few days trying to gather my courage, and then ask her out. But if you're lying to me, I'll…"

"Yes, yes, I'll allow you to punch me if I'm wrong or if I'm lying. Will _that _satisfy you?" I asked, propping open an eyelid as I spoke to him.

"I guess," he replied halfheartedly.

"Good," I responded, closing my eye again. "Glad to hear it."

* * *

><p>Later, Rei and I were walking hand-in-hand to NERV, Sōryu tagging along behind, her tongue being very firmly held. I chalked this up to whatever Rei did during the hot springs trip; it seemed to have silenced the otherwise loudmouthed pilot of EVA-02 in a way that I and my sharp tongue, for all the wit I tried to put into it, never could. I wasn't too surprised; I really wasn't a 'people person,' as they're called, and Rei was handling that front just fine. It at least made for a quiet, peaceful walk to the main entrance of NERV, which Rei and I both knew to be inoperable thanks to the SEELE-induced power outage.<p>

Have I ever mentioned that Chaos Theory, that which was supposedly the bane of every time traveler, is notoriously wonky? But anyways…

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" cried Sōryu, as she discovered the fact that her I.D. card wasn't working on the terminals.

"Power outage," I volunteered, pointing with my free hand to the terminal, upon which none of the lights were working. "The secondary power supply seems to have failed as well, as hard as that is to believe. We're stuck out here unless we find an alternate route of entry."

"What? But that's impossible!"

"You've read the manual? Congratulations," I said condescendingly. "Ordinarily, yes, it would be impossible for all three back-up breakers to go dark at once, which makes this an episode of sabotage. But that's none of our concern; if an Angel attacks now and we're not in our EVAs, we're quite royally screwed. We need to get in and be on hand should the Ninth Angel come calling."

"We will take the door through Route-07 to get to NERV Central," pronounced Rei. "There's a shortcut there that will take us directly through to Central Dogma, and time is of the essence here."

"Route-07 it is, then," I agreed, beginning to walk towards the door. "The doors aren't working, so we'll have to open them manually. I'll be on that detail. Rei, since you know the layout of the base best, you guide us to our destination."

"Yes, let's go."

* * *

><p>Sōryu landed in a clump on the ground; I landed nimbly in a kneelingcrouching position, hand cast out to stabilize as the other was on the ground, and Rei landed more nimbly still, on both feet, her arms outstretched. "There you are!" called Ritsuko. "We've been waiting for you!"

"Sorry we took so long," I called out. "The shortcut to here was collapsed–the Angel, no doubt."

"Prepare for manual entry," ordered Gendo.

"Roger. Opening hatches now," said one of the technicians.

"The EVAs are ready, I take it?" I asked.

"Yes. The commander was sure you'd all make it."

"He was correct to have faith in us. I'm ready."

"As am I," said Rei.

"Hey, I am too!" cried the Second Child.

"Then let's go."

* * *

><p>"Unit-00 and Unit-01 both possess functioning Super Solenoid Engines, so we're fine for power," I said to the other two through our EVA-to-EVA link-up as we crawled through the EVA-sized catapult back-up shafts, just before the door to the vertical shaft that we would be taking to the surface. "Unit-02, however, is slave to its emergency power battery, so watch out for that. The Angel is directly above our exit point, so watch out; if it's paused there, it must have a weapon capable of boring through NERV Central's armor and into whatever they're after here at the base. And if it's capable of boring through NERV's armor, it's more than capable of boring through ours. We ready?"<p>

"Ready," replied Rei.

"Ready," replied Sōryu.

"Okay, then," I said, kicking through the vertical shaft's door. "Two positions will there be here: Point and Counterpoint. Sōryu, you get up there and take Point–neutralize the Angel's A.T. Field. I'll take Counterpoint, and fire my rifle straight up the shaft to destroy it."

"No," objected Rei. "_I _shall take Point. My EVA's A.T. Field is stronger than her EVA's. Plus, you are the best marksman out of all of us, Shinji. The arrangement I propose makes the most amount of sense."

"Rei…"

"I will not harbor any objections. We do this together, Shinji, or not at all."

"…Yes, Rei. I understand."

Rei nodded, closing her communications window. I closed the other. She leapt out of the horizontal shaft and into the vertical, climbing up and unfolding her A.T. Field to neutralize the Angel's, in the process making herself vulnerable to the orange acid that came down the hatch; I took the pellet rifle from off of my back, propping myself up in the shaft, my limbs stretched to all parts of it. Calmly, I pointed it up the shaft, even as the one I loved whimpered in pain, having, of course, enough forbearance not to outright cry out (although I personally believe the whimpering was worse than her screaming), and, feeling like a complete monster, I said, "Rei. You're in the way of my shot. Move."

She got out of the way, and I fired my rifle up the shaft, the hail of depleted uranium rounds ripping through the Angel's core and destroying Matarael instantaneously. I kept clicking on the trigger after the clip was empty, but reached out to catch EVA-00 with one arm, her falling form breaking me out of my slight stupor. She opened a direct line with me, and smiled that small, genuine smile that made me feel warm all over with affection. "See? We did it together. It wasn't that hard, was it?"

I smiled back. "No, I suppose not."

* * *

><p>That night, as I propped myself up on one arm in the bed and looked over Rei's naked form under the moonlight once more, I traced the ghost of that smile on my face, and said to myself, "It wasn't really that hard at all."<p>

I fell back to sleep.

_Author's Note: _A shorter chapter, perhaps, but a necessary one, I feel. See you later.


	10. Science Fiction (Double Feature)

_Tokyo-3_

(Part I)

"Are you sure you're all right for this?" I asked Rei as we stood outside Misato's doorway, about to go into the party that Kensuke arranged for her promotion to major.

"I am certain, Shinji," she laughed. "Stop worrying. It is cute, but it will soon make me worry that you will give yourself a condition of some sort from the sheer amount of anxiety you must be working with. Must I drug you in order to get you to calm down?"

"No, Rei," I replied sheepishly, reaching up and knocking on the door. "You look even more beautiful than normal in that dress, you know."

"Thank you," she responded quietly.

I smiled at her, and then Sōryu opened the door. A muscle near my eye spasmed, and my entire countenance became deadpan as I looked at her. "Ah, Sōryu-san. May we enter?"

She looked at us up and down. "No funny business, you two hear? Sure. Come on in."

"Thank you," I said, and the two of us entered the apartment that Sōryu and Misato both shared. As we entered, I called out, "Hi, everyone! Sorry we're late!"

"Hey! It's the lovebirds!" teased Tōji.

"I wouldn't be talking," I replied, indicating Hikari next to him with a wave of my hand.

He flushed. "Well, I…um…that is…"

"_Konbanwa, _Rei-chan and Shinji-kun!" called Hikari, saving her new boyfriend the embarrassment of continuing to beat around the bush for lack of words.

"_Konbanwa, _Hikari-chan," Rei and I said in unison, bowing before coming to sit at the table with everyone else.

I turned to Misato, who was trying to hide her blush behind a can of Boa, the entirety of which I thought I had done away with when I was here last. "And congratulations on your promotion, Misato-san. Did you restock on beer while I was gone? With a booze hound like _you _running around, I'm glad I thought to take my bottle of absinthe along with me when I left."

"The door's right there," she threatened, though the smile on her face belied any of the supposed venom it might have contained otherwise. "How've you two been?"

I looked to Rei, who had gotten into a conversation with Hikari. "Oh, I'd say we've been doing just fine. Thanks for asking."

"Oh, really?" said Misato, quirking a mischievous eyebrow.

"Really," I replied seriously. "And I don't need _you _poking fun."

"You wound me, Shinji-kun! And here I was going to offer my sincerest congratulations to the two newlyweds," she joked.

I looked to see if Rei was paying attention before speaking further. She didn't seem to be. "We're not really newlyweds, Misato."

"Not even a 'not yet'?"

"No. To be honest, I'm waiting for her to realize she's made a horrible mist…argh!"

A very firm elbow planted into my side served to inform me that yes, Rei _was, _in fact, paying attention to my conversation. Go figure.

"So, _that _is why you have yet to propose! I was wondering what was taking you so long," she deadpanned, setting the table laughing, me flushing, and momentarily cringing internally at the look that Rei sent me, telling me that she did _not _appreciate my self-deprecation. I would be paying for that remark in the bedroom later tonight–Rei judged the couch to be too much of a concession, since I'd likely spend my night working my fingers to the bone once I was outside of her supervision. Perhaps it was too much to hope that she might let something I say slip past her–yeah, upon further thought, it was clear that that was most probably the case.

"I don't know, Shin-man, you've got the henpecked husband act down pretty well from where I'm sitting," laughed Tōji.

"Oh, really?" I snapped right back. "And I suppose that's why you always refer to our dear class representative as 'Hikari-sama' now that you're dating!"

"What?! I do not!" he started.

"Oh, you don't?" asked Hikari, her tone playfully, if deadly, sweet.

"Uh…um…"

Everyone laughed. I snuck a peck in at Rei's cheek by way of apology; she turned and turned it into a peck on the lips, and the look in her eyes told me that while she appreciated the gesture, I wasn't going to talk or act my way out of this one. I was tempted to conduct a conversation through our A.T. Fields, but Rei and I had agreed that soul resonance outside of combat wasn't something we were willing to go with any further or longer than we already had–a week of phantom insects crawling under my skin had sufficiently alerted us to the side-effects of prolonged synchronization for us to be quite thoroughly alarmed. Apparently, her fae soul and my demonic one were not as well suited to each other as our actions were. Once again, go figure.

"Hey, what'd I tell you two about funny business?!" shouted Asuka.

"Asuka? Shut up," I snapped at her, my tone entirely deadpan. Rei, instead of responding, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for more involved contact, which had the Second Child fuming in her corner. Amongst the chorus of wolf whistles that followed, I turned my attention to Misato once we were done. "Hey, Misato, why did you join NERV in the first place?" I asked her.

"Oh, I don't know. It's been a long time since I signed up, you know; somewhere along the way, I must have forgotten," she replied, her lie made plain through her soul wavelength–although, to be fair, that was the only place the lie registered. I had to admit that she was almost as talented a liar as I–very few people (Rei being foremost among them) could get sufficiently detailed readings from that black void that was my soul to allow them to tell whether I was truly sincere or lying, after all.

The doorbell rang, and Asuka stood up. "Oh, that's got to be Kaji!"

_Three…two…one…_

The door opened to reveal him and Ritsuko standing in the doorway, much to both Misato's and Asuka's chagrin.

"I came directly from headquarters," said Kaji by way of explanation. "We just happened to meet along the way."

"A likely story," said both Misato and Asuka in unison.

"You're not jealous, are you?" teased Ritsuko.

"Of course not," stated Misato, attempting to look dignified as she went back to drinking her beer.

"I'd like to offer my sincerest regards, _Major _Katsuragi," said Kaji, bowing. "I suppose that I'll have to start being polite to you, now."

"And just what is _that _supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well, you know, Commanders Ikari and Fuyutsuki have never left Japan at the same time before," said Kaji. "I guess they must really feel that old Katsuragi here's dependable."

"Not _that _old yet," remarked Misato.

"So, the commander's left Japan, has he? Interesting…" I said. _Last time, they came back with the Lance of Longinus. I wonder what'll happen when they reach Antarctica and realize that it's not where they left it anymore…if they haven't already, of course…_

"That's right. He's gone to the South Pole," said Ritsuko.

"Well," I remarked. "So much for him."

* * *

><p>"You know what tomorrow is, don't you?" I said to Rei as we lay in our once-more sweat soaked bed, enjoying the post-coital afterglow.<p>

"The day that the Tenth Angel, Sahaquiel, attacks, yes," she replied, turning her head to me. "You seem concerned."

"As always. It's something you just can't fuck out of me, it seems," I joked, resisting the urge to contort my face in disgust; such an inelegant word did not belong in such a borderline sacrosanct space as the chamber, let alone the bed, we shared.

Rei seemed not to care, her amused smile lighting up the dark room. "Why, Shinji, I do believe that might well be the first time I have ever heard you use that word," she remarked. "It doesn't really seem to fit you."

"I agree." Perhaps the problem lied with myself.

"More to the point, however, I would ask what the Red Comet, who, for my sake, single-handedly destroyed five Magellan-class battleships and three Salamis-class cruisers, has to fear from the Angel of the Sky," she continued.

"I don't fear for myself. I fear for you."

She punched me in the shoulder, not particularly gently, propping herself up on one arm. "And just how much sex is going to be required to make you respect my strength?"

"It's not about that. You're stronger than I am. I know you can handle yourself," I replied. "But Fate seems to like rubbing the fact that I can't protect you in my face. It's just that I don't think I could handle losing you, and so I fear for you. If you're safe, then I know I can do what needs to be done, even if that includes my own destruction. But I want to face what is to come together with you, because I know that without you by my side, I might sacrifice myself, and I know that that would hurt you. And I don't want to wind up hurting you, at least as much as I don't want to lose you."

She reached over and caressed my face. "Shinji, I will not leave you. Not ever. I promise."

"All right," I said, smiling at her. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it. But _please _mean it. I don't want you to leave me alone again."

"I promise you, Shinji" she replied.

"Then I suppose that'll have to do," I said in return.

"What? You do not trust me?" she joked

"No, not that. I don't trust Fate."

"Then we do not trust in the future," she said fiercely. "We make our own. Together."

I nodded. "Forever and always," I recited.

"Yes. Forever and always."

* * *

><p>"So, let me get this straight…" I said, cutting off Asuka with her voice that was obnoxious to the sound. "You want us to <em>catch <em>the Angel as it falls…like some sort of demented form of baseball. Is that about right?"

"That's right," said Misato. "We'll locate the EVAs at three specific points to cover the entirety of the estimated drop zone. Then, expanding your A.T. Fields, you'll catch it before it hits the ground."

"Right. And am I to expect this to be an all-or-nothing gambit?"

"Would it be me if it wasn't?"

"Fair point."

"It'll be a miracle if we pull this off," said Asuka.

"Perhaps, but miracles aren't random occurrences; miracles are produced."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," said Misato. "Sorry, Asuka, but we've got no other choice. This is the best possible plan."

"How can you call something _this _crazy a plan?!"

"Remind me to tell you about Operation Yashima one day," I commented. "And you can always refuse. Granted, you'll lose everything you've gained to date, but I'm sure Rei and I can manage just fine in your absence."

"Nonsense!" cried Asuka, obviously affronted. "I'll do it!"

_Oh, S__ō__ryu. Always so predictable, _I thought._ I just need to hit you in your pride _just _so, and you're a willing puppet to my whims. And oh, what a pathetic marionette you would make. _

"Well then," said Misato. "The regulations here state that you're all supposed to write out a will. Have you done that?"

"Of course not. I don't plan to die today," said Asuka.

"Neither have I. There's no point," said Rei.

"It would be an admission of failure, and _this _fight's not even started yet," said I.

"Okay. But when all of this is done, I'll treat you all to a steak dinner."

"A steak dinner?!"

"Um, Misato," I said. "Keep your money. It's our duty to see this through, and besides, Rei and I are vegetarians."

"Well, then. To the mission briefing," said Misato.

* * *

><p>I sat in my EVA, my eyes closed, my senses restricted to my own space inside the entry plug of the gigantic cyborg. I had my illusions down, though I kept up with the façade of having a heartbeat in the background to fool the instruments in the plug. <em>That's right, <em>I thought to myself. _I don't have to worry. Rei said that she'd be with me forever and always, that she would never leave me. I have to believe her, for my own sake. And I have to keep my mind unfettered in this instant, in this moment, if I wish to leave this battlefield intact._

[Angelic presence confirmed!] Misato cried through the comm unit. [EVAs, on your marks!]

I moved my Evangelion into a track start position. _Wait for it…_

[We can only give you a rough, estimated trajectory based upon optical observations. The MAGI will guide you until the estimated distance is ten kilometers. After that, I'm placing my trust in you. Begin the operation. Ready…GO!]

_NOW!_ I snapped my eyes open, and sprung from my position, taking one great bound, then another, never touching the ground at any one point for very long at all, preferring to keep my feet in the air. I leapt off the cliff that came up, flipping twice for good luck before hitting the ground running once more. I urged every ounce of performance I could out of EVA-01, out of the silent spirit of Jaquelyn that resided therein, and then I teased out _more…_

"HERE!" I called, shoving my arms down as I unfurled and expanded my A.T. Field, then putting up my hands and catching the Angel as it fell. _"We make our own. Together." That's what she said, _I thought as I exerted every ounce of control I had to keep this heavy Angel from touching the ground. _With another, I can achieve that which I couldn't achieve alone. I have to believe in her! I have to…believe in…Rei!_ "Ungahh!" I cried out as the EVA's muscles ruptured under the strain, then healed themselves, only to rupture again. It was agony.

"UNIT-02! EXPAND YOUR FIELD!" shouted Rei as she closed the distance.

"I'm already doing it!" Sōryu shouted in reply.

Rei opened up its A.T. Field, and Asuka stabbed both her prog knives into the Angel's core at once. It went limp, and then draped itself atop us as it died, and I stopped holding it up by its center with my A.T. Field, before lighting up in a brilliant conflagration.

"NERV…Central? This is…Pilot Ikari… Target neutralized."

* * *

><p>The next day, I was hard at work with Rei, finishing off the Metatron countermeasure. After a while, Rei had been forced to admit that it was a good idea, and had agreed to work on it with me, much to my delight. It was almost done, and thanks to Rei's help, it was even more fearsome than it would have otherwise been had I worked on it–which, coming from the one who had been both HAL 9000 and GLaDOS in her past (namely, me), and thus knowing almost everything there was to know about being a nigh-unstoppable computer system, was saying something. Of course, I still trusted in Ritsuko's skill–<em>that<em> was undeniable–but I make a point of _never _playing with dice, since they always seemed to be loaded against me.

We finished in plenty of time, and kicked back with a resounding sigh as we uploaded the program into the MAGI, concealed amongst about a petabyte of otherwise harmless data–in essence, the amount that the supercomputer processed every three to four hours. As a former fellow supercomputer, I felt as though the MAGI had no right to call themselves a supercomputer, what with their low data threshold and processing speed, but nonetheless, this time it worked to our favor. We monitored it as Metatron, rather like a snake, ironically enough, wormed itself into the processing centers of the MAGI, and since it was benign in origin, the three personae let it slip past them and deep into their programming subroutines.

"Wow, Akagi Naoko must have been one _hell _of a ditz," I whispered, floored by how easily Metatron had gotten into the supercomputer's deepest parts. If this had been a piece of spyware, it could have activated where the system could no longer attack it, which would then require manual maintenance. "I begin to question the rationale behind handing a city's most valuable automated assets to a supercomputer designed to emulate a narcissistic, irrational woman like the elder Akagi."

"I agree. I was only repeating something the commander had said–I was still getting my bearings, of course–and then she throws a tantrum and strangles me. Certainly not a level of mental stability to inspire confidence," Rei threw in as she, too, watched our little Metatron (joking, of course) weasel its way into the NERV systems. "But–what is that wonderful little adage?–one must learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth. This is a great advantage for us, to have this countermeasure in and secure so quickly."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I said. "And in all fairness, for all it knew, we _did _have the proper credentials. We might just be a _bit _too good at our jobs to expect competent corrective action out of our temporary allies."

"That, too," she considered. "So, we have the main in the archives, and it has replicated itself into networked copies, with probes in each of the three systems. If all three probes are tripped at once, the poison will activate, and the little problem we had with Ireul will be vaporized. That is, only if Doctor Akagi does not do her job as well as we expect. The metaphor you produced earlier–comparing this to the Andromeda Strain–seems to be not as apt as the name of the program itself."

"You're right about that," I admitted. "Given what we know to be God's preferred weapon of choice, having the Voice of God be a poison pill might just be exactly correct, you know." I chuckled.

"I agree wholeheartedly," said Rei.

* * *

><p>(Part II)<p>

"Ah, Commander. I was expecting you," I said as I looked at the tombstone, clad in my NERV pilot's uniform with my sunglasses on.

"And just what did you want to talk to me about?" he snapped.

"No need to be so hostile, Commander. If you think about it, I was really helping you."

"How do you figure?"

"By eliminating Ikari Yui, I helped you to come to terms with her death. Now, you can finally go about learning how to live without her."

"I was trying to resurrect her for your sake, too, you know."

"I know. But I have no use for such an irrational woman," I said, not unkindly, but not warmly either. "And besides, bringing back the dead is a fool's game. Really, I think you and I both know that, Commander, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. Rejoice; so long as you keep a place for Yui in your heart, she's never really dead. There are others in this world who have not the luxury of being able to believe in things like that. Tell me, which is worse, Commander? Knowing your wife to be dead, or knowing the one you love is _just _beyond your reach? In the latter case, you might be able to comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least she's alive. But seeing your loved one in torment is perhaps a worse pain than the agony that they themselves experience."

"In either case, they are beyond your reach," he objected.

"But in the former, your wife is at peace. In the latter, your loved one is in pain, in torment. Which gives you the greater peace of mind, Commander? The latter is all I have open to me." I took a breath.

"What are you?"

"A creature beyond your comprehension, Commander. It would not behoove you to even _try _to understand," I replied. "When we die, we are reborn elsewhere, Rei and I. So it has been for many eons, and in those eons, we have known many names–few of them recognizable to you, if any, I fear, and I do not think that they would give the correct impression if you heard them. But ultimately, I have come to know that it is painful on both sides for Rei and I to be separated, even knowing our reunion will eventually come. I know only the pain I have suffered, Commander, and it is great. You will be reunited with Yui in time, and in that time, she will be at peace. You can rest assured in that knowledge. If you can believe nothing else I say, and trust in nothing else I do, believe and trust in that." I looked up and saw the approaching VTOL. "You are a good man, Ikari Gendo–one of the few. I would have you remember that before the end."

He embarked onto the VTOL, and I walked away.

"Shinji!" he called. I looked back. "Thank you for this."

I smirked. "Don't thank me yet. The worst has yet to come. You would do well to tread lightly."

* * *

><p>It was a hot day in Tokyo-3 when Leliel, Angel of the Night, attacked. Like before, the black spot just appeared on the ground, and then moments after, its shadow as well. Rei and I had to play at ignorance, and I was using that as a cover to try and think of a way in which I could counter this Angel without being swallowed up by it like last time. [Can you all hear me? I sent you all the known target data. That's literally all we know right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reactions, and, if possible, lure it outside the city. I want you all to back up each other. Is that understood?]<p>

"Yes ma'am!" cried Asuka. "But don't you think Shinji ought to be taking…"

"I can do it," I interrupted. "Misato, we can eliminate this Angel right now."

[Now wait, Shinji-kun, I…]

"There's no time to waste!" I cried. "Sōryu! Rei! Back me up!"

"Shinji, don't…!"

"Trust me! Please!"

She paused, deliberating, before nodding grudgingly. "Okay. We'll back you up."

"Thank you," I breathed. "I am…the Bird of Hermes…" The Lance of Longinus appeared in my left hand, and thanks to my Evangelion's Super Solenoid Organ with which I was resonating, I was able to sustain it without too much of a physical strain on myself or the EVA, and so there was no rush to use one of the three special moves attached to the weapon–Lancea Longini (which was, in essence, Jump), Gungnir (which amounted to throwing the Lance at my target like a javelin), or the ultimate move, Gáe Bolg (which was a technique which would seek out and destroy the target's heart–hence the name, which meant 'Heartseeker'). I wielded the Lance in one hand, and my EVA-sized pistol in the other. I advanced to my next cover point, pressing up against the building. "Is everyone in position?"

"Yes," replied Rei.

"No!" cried Asuka.

"It'll have to do!" I ducked out of cover, and fired into the Angel's shadow. Right on schedule, the shadow disappeared, and the real Angel appeared beneath me. A smile on my face, I rammed the Lance into the Angel, but, to my surprise and horror, it was to no avail. I pulled it out, feeling like I was pulling it from quicksand, and shouted, "_GÁE BOLG!_"

The Lance animated and plunged into the blackness, seeking the core, but there was none to be found, and I could feel the mana draining out of me as I sustained it, even as my Super Solenoid Organ kept replenishing it, wreaking a horrific strain upon my body, even as it continually healed itself. Before I knew it, I was caught in its grip, rapidly running out of the energy to even struggle–mana and _ki _were two different things, after all, and I was rapidly running out of the latter. "Rei. Rei, I'm sorry," I said as I smiled at her horrified face in my communications window. "I think I might be unable to keep my promise. I really am pathetic, aren't I?"

The last words I heard as I was swallowed up by the darkness were Rei, crying out, "NO! _SHINJI!_"

And then I saw no more.

* * *

><p>I was mired in a great void, a whiteness where time itself ceased to have any meaning. Once more, I was mired in the Sea of Dirac that was Leliel, and Leliel was about and within me, a commingling between Angel and demon that was nothing short of profanity itself. Once more, I marveled at how much of an idiot I was to allow this to happen to me. As I was entirely submerged, the head of the Lance returned to me, and I was able to do damage control on my <em>ki<em> pool, walking around endlessly as I reworked my body to be able to handle the strain of my mana being continually replenished by my core.

I knew that I would need to replenish my _ki _reserves before I advanced any further, and so I sat down in a spot that looked like it would work well enough for my purposes, Lance laid out on my lap as I assumed the half-lotus position, dropped all my illusions, cleared my mind, and began to meditate. And as I meditated, after twelve or fourteen hours, Leliel's mind came to me and melded with my own. A crude method of communication, granted, but it was all the poor child was able to muster up. In retrospect and in theory, Leliel was far less gentle than Arael, who merely brushed against the mind and searched one's memories for understanding, as opposed to Leliel, who brute-forced his way in and demanded access to all of my faculties at once, but that just came with the territory of dealing with one as weak of mind as Asuka Langley Sōryu.

{You don't think much of her, do you?}asked Leliel. I opened my eyes, knowing that my body was still meditating, and that it would be only a little while longer before my _ki _pool was entirely replenished and I would have to find something else to do, which, in this void, would be quite problematic. Leliel was before me, in a fourteen-year-old female body of about average height and slender build, with fair skin, big, green eyes, a pretty face, and golden hair that was a bit longer than shoulder-length, tied into a high ponytail with a black ribbon, tied in a large bow. It was a body that I knew well–and I knew it well because it was my own, my true form, my real body, and as such, that made it…

"I see," I said into the train car that Leliel had manifested inside my mind. "You don't actually take the form of our physical bodies, but rather of our self-image. Clever. If you had caught Sōryu, you would have had a girl with a breakdown in front of you, as opposed to me; unlike her, I am comfortable with who and what I am."

{I know that you are,} replied the Angel. {And as for the Second Child, I would not have caught her, or at least, it would be significantly less likely that I would catch her. While my sister, Arael, took an interest in the Second Child the last time around, I find you to be fascinating, both last time _and_ this time. In short, Ikari Shinji–or do you prefer 'Rain'?}

"Rain," I replied instantaneously. "Although feel free to call me 'Ame-sama'."

{In short, Rain, _you, _and not the Second Child, were my quarry,} he finished. {Your being is just so…_vast, _I'm almost unable to comprehend it, then and now. Though you didn't know it the last time around, I wished to get to know the creature whose soul dwarfed my own. I see now that I was impatient; I'm getting a lot more now than I did then. You are almost complete–though, not quite. It is as if there is one volume missing from the encyclopedia that is you.}

"Yes, I am well aware of that. Aneki has that one."

{Ah, yes, ADAM. I find it almost hard to believe that the First of us, who we call 'Father,' the Father who abandoned us, is, in fact, a woman.}

"Almost?"

{I sensed her presence within you before–nothing but pure chaos. Something like that just cannot be male. It would be impossible.}

"True enough," I allowed. "And I suppose you know about last time through your status as a Sea of Dirac?"

{Yes. Since I am a, as you call it, 'Sea of Dirac'–that is, a region made up entirely of the particles you call electrons–I am in every different possible timeline at once, and as such, I am my own timeline, separate from all others, independent. Last time, I was unable to create a perfect replica of your self-image, and so I defined myself as a line until such time as I gave up and materialized as a shadowed replica of the three-year-old self I saw that rang truest of all the versions of you I saw inside your mind at that moment.}

"So, what do you want?"

{I wished to understand. I still do. But I am struggling to comprehend a–what is that human term?–an eldritch abomination. That is why I spoke as I did last time, in metaphor and the abstract; I did not fully comprehend how entirely unable to be comprehended you are. And now here I am, before the maw of the beast, and I find myself unafraid.} The Angel that had assumed my true form took a breath. {You are yourself, and the self that observes yourself hates you. But when you are the others that observe you–when two manifestations of you meet–you like each other. How is that?}

"When one person meets another person, all that is there is respect; they must judge the person by the self that they observe of that person. When two different manifestations of me meet, the one that is two at that moment observes itself and judges what it sees, not what it knows. And since I respect myself, and the basis of how one regards others is upon that first, I regard myself when I am the two that coexist in a favorable light; even though each of the two might individually hate themselves, they cannot hate each other, as there is too much respect there," I explained.

{But the two are really one!}

"Doesn't matter. In that moment, the one (that is me) is really two. As an example, in the same timeframe, I was known as both Prince Lelouch vi Britannia and Earl Lloyd Asplund. I manifested in two places at the same time, because as the former perished along with Humanity, I went back through my own timeline and was born as the latter. The two of me liked each other, even though inwardly each hated herself, and even though they were really the same person, just at different points in their personal timelines, they each regarded the other as a different identity, a different manifestation–or rather, _judged_ each other; 'regarded' is a tad misleading."

{You see? This is what I mean. I cannot comprehend you. It is…awe-inspiring.}

"I am glad you see it that way. But my _ki _pool is replenished, and I must be going."

{Do as you must.}

"Thank you, Leliel." I opened my eyes for real, and saw in front of me a bright red Angelic core. Taking the Lance in hand, I put my illusions back into place and pierced it. Then I tore myself out of the Angel, limb by limb, leaping out of Leliel's corpse, which was what his shadow had become, and touching down to the ground, where blood-soaked ruptures littered the broken pavement. "Rei! I'm back!" I called out upon opening a link to Unit-00, as she began running to me. She caught me as I collapsed, absolutely exhausted. "I'm back."


End file.
